a trail of thoughts: the dreamhouse

*click click*
suddenly found myself stalking a friend's album.
(stalking is a too strong word dont you think? whatever)
merely flipping through some of *** house's pictures.
cantik. lawa.
the ones like those in Impiana magazine.
"macam rumah baru."
considering the latest designs, you can tell.

thoughts trailed away;

wonder how Abah + Mama would design theirs.
if they haven't built ours just yet.
abah + mama is unique in a way.
they built their house when they were in their early 30s.
the reason being; "buat rumah lambat-lambat,
by the time siap, semua anak dah takde."
good point, i might add.
not easy to achieve though.
so alhamdulillah for them. and us.
cause we were able to grow up in that house,
with so many memories carved here and there. :)

thoughts trailed away;

i love my home. it's comfy.
*riak kah ini?*
considering it's already a 20-years-old house,
i think mom and dad did a great job designing it.
people thought they renovated though the years.
but no, it has been that way eversince.
although the stuff inside the house do get shuffled around, (and replaced by Mama =,='')
and the concept (pergh) of the interior changes with the years too.

thoughts trailed away;

what would my house be like eh?
white cream? a hint of brownish?
wooden floor. wooden ceiling. island kitchen.
abah and mama influence their children too much i think.
even kakak's home have a similar concept to our home.
wooden furnishing here and there,
most things have "woody" aura in it.
perhaps due to Abah's old job back in Brunei?

thoughts trailed away;

definitely gonna make much use of Abe's talent.
and kak ita too, even though she's not working as one;
cuz im pretty sure she's helping abe out if he were to bring his work back home.
ke tak? hehe~
still remembered abe's little models that he brought home.
coolness. rasa macam nak main Lego.
remembered back in high school how i loved playing the Sims.
with the right cheat-code, i was able to build the houses of my dream!
excited :)

thoughts trailed away;

Rasulullah SAW tidur berlapikkan pelepah kurma, yan.
and he's Allah's most beloved.

no more thoughts.
just istighfar.

*a story to be reminded of. [29:39-40]*

yours truly,


Cry and Try

sedih. everybody in this world has that phase. when something / someone made you overwhelmingly sad. even though you know that it all comes from Him,but still rasa sedih tu. takpe, it's fitrah. it's not wrong for us to acknowledge that fitrah. 

but personally, i don't like it much. the being sad part. somehow it seems like kita tak redha dengan apa yang Allah bagi kan? not to say that we cant vent all those feelings out. boleh je. menangis la kalau nak menangis. tumbuk lah dinding ke ape. kick anything that you want to (err..except maybe your innocent roommate).

unleash your feelings outside with all those things if you want to, but never inside. because in your heart, you have to always make sure you're willing that all of that is happening to you. because it's His Qada' and Qadar. because it's His Plans to begin with. 


this week i had one of those days. *putting the reasons aside* i was walking home alone, and i called Abah. i ended up crying all the way, till i reached my room. masuk duvet, sambung lagi nangis. mata merah. hidung merah. wishing Abah and Mama were there to hug me.

then i realized, tak malu ke Allah tengah tengok? of how i was so preoccupied with the sadness that i am feeling. crying over something that i couldn't get, and forgetting the rest of the things that i am getting. that many others dont even have. *haih...*


ever wondered why are we sad in the first place?
ask ourselves; 
how can we be so sure that getting what we want will make us happy? 
how can we be so sure that getting what we want will make all things easier?
are we sure that getting what we want will make us closer to Him?

won't it be all easier, if we assure ourselves of His Plans instead, no matter how bad it seems in our eyes. no matter how hard it is for us to face. 

putus tunang? 
hubungan terhalang? 
jatuh basikal? 
hilang duit? 
missed flight nak pergi London? 
so much bad things seems to be happening all around, 
and so many people crying over them. 

and what's worse, some ends up 'merajuk dengan Allah'. where we would end up doing less things for Him. kurang solat sunat, kurang baca Quran, kurang berdoa pada Dia. why? because we think it's unfair for Him to put this heavy burden/ujian on us. naudzubillah.

i remembered Abah's constant reminder, about parents. "anak-anak, tak layak untuk merajuk dengan parents. no matter how wrong the parents are. there should always be a way for you to make them understand that they are wrong. but never merajuk." tak layak. that word caught me. if dengan parents pun kita tak layak untuk merajuk, let alone Our Creator. Who has given everything that we wished for (or not). tak layak untuk kita merajuk, just because He's not Giving us one particular thing. (which im very sure that it's for our own future benefit. be it in this life, or the Afterlife.)

nak merajuk dengan Allah?  think again people. He has the ability to give you anything that you want, and even more; in just a blink of an eye. so when He Decided not to Give you something, He always has His Reasons. and it's always for our own benefit. the only thing we should do is just to believe in it. that's all.

so here is my advice and point to the whole entry; 

Cry as much as you want. 
but never let your heart cries along with you.
instead, Try assuring your heart to believe that Allah is just Planning things perfectly for you;
and it's just us who don't know much about them for now; but we will sooner or later, insyaAllah.

“Dan Apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) tentang Aku, maka katakanlah sesungguhnya Aku dekat
Aku mengabulkan doa orang yang memohon 
apabila ia memohon kepadaKu. 
Maka hendaklah mereka memenuhi (panggilan/perintah)Ku, dan beriman kepadaKu agar mereka mendapat petunjuk (bimbingan)”. 

(2: 186)

yours truly,
done crying. am trying :)


of mengemas Dapur & Dosa

by =FiLH

Dapur (read: kitchen)

ask any girl, every one of them loves to see a pretty kitchen. with built-in cabinets, island stove, kayu jati dining table, cute stools, apron hanging nicely beside that huge cool 3doors fridge. :)

but like all dapur in the whole wide world, they are used constantly. everyday. paling kurang sekali sehari. from making simple meals, to buffets, the kitchen will eventually get dirty. 

and here comes the ladies, doing their job to clean it; (because we all know that guys just dont clean kitchen. bila da ada wifey la kan, if you guys are membujang you all have to do it too.) and the fact of the matter is, cleaning the kitchen is not just about washing the dishes and swiping the dining table; there is a whole bunch of stuff that needs to be done.

first group. those who couldn't care less about it. all they know is that it's where they stuff food supply. even if they cook, they would leave all the dirty pots in the sink. washing them only when they want to cook again the next time. and believe me, the next time can be anywhere between a week and a month. dont believe they exist? ask anyone who has lived with a mat-saleh.

second group. those who would do the basics. washing the dishes, and swiping tables and counters. sometimes when they are not in the mood, they just leave things piled up, and clean them whenever they think it's getting out of hands, or when they are in the mood for it. (and just like the normal distribution, most of us lies in this middle group.)

then the third group, (this is where my Mama came from =,='') who would always keep it clean. and clean the places that nobody actually notices. like the corner of the cabinet where some crisps are laying around, the bread crumbs under the toaster, minyak masak terpercik kat dinding, the inside of the fridge, the dishwasher, the microwave. to one extreme, even behind the stove! (of course this is not done on a daily basis, but regular enough to keep it clean).

and so i guess, which group we are in, all depends on how much we want the Dapur to be clean.

okay, what the heck is my point? im definitely not trying to talk about obsessive compulsive disorder or anything here.

but whenever i'm cleaning the kitchen, i realized how it totally resembles us living with sins. whether we like it or not, we are constantly making sins. some of us, just like the first group, sadly, just dont give a damn about cleansing our souls. sins are just sins. unlike dapur though, they don't stink in real life. remembered a quotation of a syeikh in one of his talk, which more or less goes about like this; if one could smell another's sins, nobody would sit next to each other. so true ain't it? 

the next group of people; are those who cleanses their sins occasionally. we would mingle with small sins, until up to a point we realize that we are drowning in them. and so, we would cry, and repent. and yes, soon enough, we mingle with the sins again and again. and this cycle never actually really stop.

and last but not least, the final group. the ones who look for their sins. like how they notices the dirt in the corner that everyone else does not notice, that's how they would notice the small sins that they are making. they would clean them ASAP, just like how they would ask Allah for forgiveness in their wrongdoings. constantly and continuously. 

and just like how people would label those who like a very clean kitchen as having an obsessive compulsive disorder, (ni kira memang bukan ada psychiatric disorder la. just people labelling) that's also how people would label those who worry about their sins as extremist. but guess what, we all are not living for people or for ourselves. but we are living for Allah. so if pleasing Allah will cause us to be called an extremist with an obsessive compulsive disorder; then i think we should all aim to be called just that. 

because those labels comes from doing something that Allah loves; 
which is to be sensitive to any kinds of sins, 
and sensitive to the bread crumbs in the corner of the kitchen. 

“Sesungguhnya mendapat kemenanganlah 
orang yang membersihkan (menyucikan) dirinya “

(read more: here)

yours truly,
a girl whose working hard 
to clean sins & bread crumbs :)


them. :)

we often find faults in others, but rarely we take time off to find faults in ourselves. but Islam teaches otherwise. that we have to constantly look deep into what we're lacking of, a.k.a muhasabah.

of all the many faults i have in me, there is one that i've found out a long time ago. which is not reaching out to friends. even the close and best'est' ones :) 

so here i am, humbly writing it down, with the hope that if any of those special people are reading it, they would forgive this imperfection of mine. 

i find i rarely make the first call, rarely text the first message, rarely comment the pictures, rarely give gifts, rarely  make a visit, rarely make the suggestion to go out; rare in everything there is that friends usually do. that's how i have been for as long as i could remember. despite the fact that i do miss them, talk about them, and pray for them; i rarely end up doing all those nice things to them.

it's always been something that's in the back of my head, that this hampehness of mine would one day hurt my friends; whether i know of it or not. and yes, today, i got that slap on the face. that i have hurt someone who i care about dearly.

but what amazes me most, is how this special person already forgets about it and called me like usual. i guess that's why she is called the best of friends. because even though she has an ugly person like me as her friend who rarely does anything special for her; she still makes the effort of making me feel special. EVERYtime she calls. 

so to you dearest budak cantik lagi vein, thank you for forgiving and forgetting. and sorry for my faults.

i may not change much eventhough im admitting to all this, but i give you the permission to kick me in the shins and demand me stuff (affordable ones like belanja makan, hehe) should i make you feel neglected again.

and this goes to all my besties out there,
in PennState, in Dublin, in Galway, in UK, in Egypt, in Indonesia and definitely in Malaysia;
and everyone who i call friends. those who had touched my heart all these while;
you guys know that i Heart you right? heee *googly eyes*

and one of the best thing that i can do to prove it is only through my prayers of you.
so wherever you are, i pray that Allah blesses you guys through and through.

and of course,
sorry is always the hardest word, but it's the best solution to everything.

sorriiiieeeee *berkelip-kelip innocent*

“Jadilah pemaaf dan suruhlah orang mengerjakan yang makruf, 
serta jangan pedulikan orang-orang yang bodoh.” 

“Tetapi barang siapa bersabar dan memaafkansungguh yang demikian itu yang termasuk perbuatan yang mulia.” [42:43]

“Allah tidak akan menambah kemaafan seseorang, melainkan dengan kemuliaan, dan tidaklah seseorang merendahkan dirinya karena Allah melainkan Allah akan meninggikan derajatnya.” 
(Hadith riyawat Bukhari dan Muslim)

yours truly,
a friend. that lacks everything.


surprise surprise

Friday's sedekah : lots of smilesss ;) - me

5pm, Malaysia time.
at pintu dapur belakang,
kakak's house, Putrajaya.

suspects: Abah, Mama & Lin.

activity: menyorok kat pintu belakang rumah, waiting for kakak, abe ammar and baby to come home. they waited still for about an hour, despite a very long 8-hours drive from Kota Bharu, not even stopping for lunch, just because they wanted to eat the Kelantan-brought laksa with their kids. :)

at about 8am, Dublin time. i tried calling Abah. to make sure they have safely arrived. but my call was rejected at the 2nd ring. "reject yan call? ouh, koyak." =,='' dad texted though, kakak was not home yet. takut the phone call might distract him from the well-planned surprise. hehe


sometimes you cant imagine parents doing this kind of things at their age. (read: indirectly cakap abah mama tua. mwahaha) not to mention this includes a very long drive from Kelate! i guess us kids doing this is quite normal. cute still, but nothing out of the ordinary. (read: our typical thing,  my legendary surprise, and abah's sweetest surprise for mama). but for them to make this kind of effort, it's priceless. 

i guess the frequent surprises we made for them, have rubbed into them. i have always told many of my friends, you cant expect your parents (or anyone for that matter) to start doing something, unless you yourself start it. some say it's very hard to say I Love You to your very serious dad. but not saying it at all won't make it any easier. some say it's totally embarrassing to hug your big brother in front of a crowd, well actually no one even cares if you hug your brother or not. and after a while, voila! you see them doing it back to you, and words can't even describe how happy you will be at that time. seriously ;)


people have different ways of expressing their love though. so not doing all these doesn't mean that you don't love them. still, im just sharing my way of expressing love towards another. i think i call everyone of my friends 'sayang'. (though some say they were feeling kind of awkward at first, sorry for that.hehe). but that's just my weird 'token' of appreciation.

so my point is, sometimes it's a good thing to show your appreciation/love towards another literally. cuz without you knowing it, you might just make their day ;)

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, maksudnya;

“Manusia yang paling dikasihi Allah ialah orang yang 
memberi manfaat kepada orang lain 
dan amalan yang paling disukai oleh Allah ialah 
menggembirakan hati orang-orang Islam 
atau menghilangkan kesusahan daripadanya 
atau menunaikan keperluan hidupnya di dunia 
atau memberi makan orang yang lapar. 
Perjalananku bersama saudaraku yang muslim untuk menunaikan hajatnya, 
adalah lebih aku sukai daripada aku beriktikaf di dalam masjid ini selama sebulan, 
dan sesiapa yang menahan kemarahannya sekalipun ia mampu untuk membalasnya 
nescaya Allah akan memenuhi keredhaannya di dalam hatinya pada hari Qiamat, 
dan sesiapa yang berjalan bersama-sama saudaranya yang Islam 
untuk menunaikan hajat saudaranya itu hinggalah selesai hajatnya 
nescaya Allah akan tetapkan kakinya (ketika melalui pada hari Qiamat) 
dan sesungguhnya akhlak yang buruk akan merosakkan amalan 
seperti cuka merosakkan madu.”
Riwayat Ibnu Abi Dunya


this is just a random post on a Friday. 
i miss my family so much right now. 
as of now, all of them are in Putrajaya *again*
ah..so jealous.


yours truly,
have a blessed Friday peeps ;)


Fun is not Bahagia

by *andyp89

Bahagia (read: happiness)

everybody is looking for that Bahagia.
that prolonged feeling-good moments,
that Hakuna-Matata, a life of no worries.

and so what's our number one modus operandi to look for it?
er. no, not marriage. (note: ini bukan post cinta)
the thing that's always at the tip of our tongue,
especially when we find someone is being particularly boring;
"tak fun la kau ni."

yes, fun.
we often equate fun, to that Bahagia we are looking for.
but sadly, most fun, if not all, gives us only temporary Bahagia.
why? because most of our fun activities, are not done according to His Rules,
let alone the reasons for doing them, which has nothing to do with Him.
i guess that's why the Bahagia is short-lived. *thanks to syaitoonirrojiim..*

everybody is looking for that Bahagia,
and i truly believe that it is His to Give.
yet we humans,
are looking for it in all the wrong places.
the fact of the matter is, we will never find it.

not to say that having fun is wrong,
it's just that it should be done moderately,
and for the right reasons.
(which is..kind of hard to do ain't it?) =,=''

because in reality,
not only we don't get the Bahagia that we are looking for,
we get carried away with the 'fun' things that we are doing;
thus putting Him at the back of our heads. *sigh*

everybody is looking for that Bahagia,
and Fun is definitely not Bahagia.

"[Kami jelaskan yang demikian itu] supaya kamu jangan berduka cita terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan supaya kamu jangan terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikan-Nya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai setiap orang yang sombong lagi membanggakan diri."
[Al Hadid: 23]

yours truly,
a boring-human. hehe ;P


barakallahu fikum ;)

by ~solak11

it's that news again :)

dont know why,
have an overwhelming sense of happiness bila baca;
"jemputan ke walimatul urus...."

mendoakan yang terbaik,
kepada 2 orang yang sangat saya hormati.

checking my facebook home;
currently it's filled with congratulatory messages for them.

status kawan-kawan pun,
mainly about them. or about marriage in general.

ada yang gembira,
ada yang nak jugak,
ada yang tercabar ( guys. haha)
and yang macam 'nak nanges'. (girls). T,T

semua orang dah nak kahwin,
walaupun padahal dalam 1000 friends list tu,
ade 5 orang je yang baru nak kahwin.

so i guess it's a typical reaction,
because of our age,
and the confused hormones,
it feels like everybody is getting married. haha.
*peer pressure*

barakallahu fikum.
kepada mereka berdua.
and to close friends that are planning for next year
( i can see 3 in my head already) ;)

you guys are heading for the next phase of life.
semoga semua urusan dipermudahkan.
as happy+cute+sweet as it seems,
a lot of responsibilities are coming your way too.

i will follow suit too sooner or later, insyaAllah.
probably later by the looks of my very quite life right now. =,=''
hampeh? maybe.
trusting His Plans? very much.

so to many girls out there who im pretty sure are having this
"nak jugaakkk" syndrome.
no worries. put a smile and pray.
mintak Allah cepatkan sikit our Mr Right's pace.
hehe. *cheeky smile*

yours truly,
haih. call abah mama lah. :)


fix you

by ~KateTale
some say you can never really fix a broken heart,
i say Allah can fix any types of broken hearts; even the smashed ones. *wink* -chocLover

this post is a reply to anonymous :) at the chatbox.
in the name of Allah, Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim. with his Izin,
i will try to fix you :)

untuk awak,
who's feeling sad and distancing away from friends.
untuk awak,
who are braving something that many fears.
untuk awak,
who has been specially chosen by Him.

i listened to this song in this blog,
and some verses caught my ear.
"when you get what you want, but not what you need."

trust me, you may think that you're not getting what you want,
but Allah is actually giving exactly something that you need.
cuma kita je yang tak tahu.


once, i told my Abah; who despite his wiseness and know-it-all, still had his down-days. when business makes him all tired inside and out. and being the daughter, it's my responsibility to remind him;

that being a Muslim is the best gift one could ever ask for.
bila senang, kita tahu Allah yang bagi.
bila susah, kita tahu Allah yang bagi jugak.
in the end, it all goes back to Him.
which, is the one and only thing that we need to do in this short lifetime.
kembali kepada Dia.
we should be happy.


'repeat' 'resit' 'fail' 'compensate'; the common vocabs dreaded by many. but after 2 years in the medical field (er..studying that is, not working), i learn to accept that life now is full of unexpected things. no matter how much we want or dread certain things, if Allah has chosen it for us, the best and the right thing we should do is to make the best out of it. 

friends dropping out, resiting papers, repeating years, changing courses, heading back home etc. i pray for those who are facing all these; may Allah be with you through and through. and we all have heard of the saying that goes: "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger". and i truly believe that all hardships that Allah gave us are to strengthen us.

strengthening our keyakinan (assurance) in His Plans.
strengthening our tawakkal (trust) in His Plans.
strengthening our iman, 
for it's the only thing we're bringing back with us in the Afterlife.

when i feel down and low, or when i feel lost at times for the things that i'm doing, my Abah+Mama kept on reminding me that i should keep doing my job; which is to put my best effort forward; in anything that i do. and the truth is, the only thing that we can measure relatively is just our efforts. and the rest?  it is for Him to decide. all the endpoints are in His Hands. all the stories of how our life will proceed are all in His Plans. trust Him, i think that's what He wanted most from us.

untuk awak,
jangan sedih. Allah is actually giving you something that you need. it may not be exactly something that you want for your medical degree, but something that you need for your Afterlife degree. when on That Day, you were given a scroll to enter His Jannah; for your patience, for your effort, for your trust in Him while facing this small ordeal. ameen :)

at 17, i once faced some similar ordeal. when i didn't get something that i really want. but He Gave me something that i need first; which is my trust in Him. and once it was all over, when i even decided to let go of the thing that i want, He suddenly gave it to me. sweet tak? looking back, alhamdulillah is all i can say. He gave me what i need first before giving me what i want. :)

so trust Him, He has His ways of doing things. insyaAllah.

"Barangsiapa dikehendaki Allah kebaikan baginya maka ia diuji

(dengan musibah yang menimpa).” 

(HR. Al Bukhari)

yours truly,
trying to fix me and you ^,^


of Nottingham and Games

by =candymax

finally dapat merasa notts game yang disebut-sebut orang.
i chose to go happily this year as my getaway.
from the hectics of midterm exams the past few weeks,
+ masalah-masalah jiwa yang lain.

a few nawaitu (intentions) were listed before i went there.

1. jumpa kawan lama
2. cheer housemate lawan netball

both were successfully completed.
the former was more than what i bargained for.
met so many friends, expected and non-expected ones.

some stayed with me most of the time, 
some i bumped into more than twice, 
some only once and i took pictures with,
some one i'd finally able to meet after 9 years! (fatimaaahh~~) *almost cried*
some gave delicious free food (thank you!),
some encounters were totally brief it was less than a minute!

but that was satisfactory enough,
at least when i meet you guys next time,
we can say, "dah jumpe kat notts game kan?"


pagi ni pulang kembali ke Dublin.
with a very heavy eyelid,
a tired body (walaupun cap ayam langsung tak main sports)
and 1001 lessons to be learned.

for there are always some pros and many cons,
when you're in a mixed crowd.

malam lepas balik tu,
tiba-tiba rasa homesick.

i miss the confinement of my own family
and close friends;
who thinks like i do,
who say things that i like,
who do things that i love.
and most importantly who remind me constantly of Him.

when you're in a crowd,
you realize that many forget about the One who's Watching.
and you also realize that you tend to forget along too.

bukan senang nak maintain kan?

other than that,
Notts Game was great. 
loved watching the basketball game + final football match.
tabik spring kat team Notts. ;)


ps: semua org happy dpt jumpe Dr MAZA kat notts game. 
ouh frust. dpt tgk dr jauh pn jadi lah. =,=''

i think this picture best describe me + games involving balls.
= cap ayam.
im okay with badminton though *wink*
by ~lionel19

yours truly,


of sarcasm


i dont like it.

it's something that's deliberately done to belittle others.

if it's to help fix some mistakes, i guess to a certain extent it can be accepted.

even so, i still dont like it. i find it a very immature way to right the wrongs.

because it involves hurting others' feelings or prides.

some said it's just a form of joke.

well some jokes can get carried away too.

yet, many others out there still find it amusing.

but you know what i think?

i believe sarcasm is a form of weakness.

an outlet for those who feel intimidated, yet tried to act cool about it;

so you turn to sarcasm.

because people cant really actually tell if you're serious about it,

or just plainly joking.


even the word itself sounds awful.

but, sarcasm is normal.

you just have to know your limits, that's all.

yours truly,



by ~Ibrahim-K of deviant art
haha. the picture kinda speaks the truth you know..:P

finished the mid-term exams today, alhamdulillah. pressure lifted. hehe.

the last 2 paper was endocrine + CNS diseases

for CNS,
i had been burying my head  in the pile of lecture notes last few days,
filled with the so many different diseases of our nervous system.

one of the lectures was about neurodegenerative diseases.
you know; alzheimer's, parkinson, huntington and so on.

when i was reading the whole thing,
i watched some videos of the patients with the illnesses.

i remembered thinking;

"ya Allah, please help me memorize all this. 
please make the exam easy for me."

then i realized.

i was so worried of my brain not being able
to memorize and differentiate all these illnesses.

and easily forgetting the fact that these people
had lost so many things because of them.

some lost their memory. some can't talk. some can't walk.
some cant move all their hands and legs.
some had difficulty breathing.
some can't think on their own.
some had died.

*geleng-geleng kepala*

memang senang lupa nikmat Allah.

thank you Allah,
for all the things you Gave; that we often forget,
for all the harms You Kept away; that we often oversee.

yours truly.
finals coming soon. :)


of sweets, balloons and letting go

*break time: studying is hard.sob2*

there is the most delicious looking sweets-shop at the side of the road. everyday, you and your friends would go to class and pass that shop. you would paste your head at the glass-mirror and drool over the displayed sweets. but the problem is, sometimes it's open, sometimes it's not. one day,  you were heading back from class alone, and you realized that it's open!! you went in and bought some. but you realized how awful they tasted, and soon you were telling all your friends how bad they were. you vow to yourself you will never ever ever buy them again. but the question is, will your friends believe you and resist all the temptations?

by ~TheFleX of deviantart


last night i was chatting away with si Pika. i can only wonder (hehe), how our conversation strayed to a question; why everybody wants a relationship so bad? no matter what level the relationship is. [read: how much it has developed; just friends to the-only-thing-left-to-do-is-the-akad-nikah].

but Che Pika gave a very good insight. and here's my conclusion:

it's easy for us to let go of something that we already have,
then to let go of something that we never even have in the first place.

pening? mari saya explain. people who have had some experiences would easily relate to all the wrong things that our religion is prohibiting in pre-marital relationships. they would understand why our religion is saying haram to it all, because they knew the consequences that comes with them, as they have been through it. and they knew the awful feelings that comes after it too. 

but for those who haven't, how would they understand the extent of these consequences or awfulness, when they don't even know what it's like, and what is NOT to like about it? and thanks to syaitonirojiiimm, the temptations to experience it all are overwhelming. so how can a friend's word of advice, be digested, just because your friends said so? a friendly advice vs syaitonirojimm-2000years-experience-of-tempting-humans. come on lah, we all can see who's gonna win here. =,=''

so, does it mean we all have to go through all the relationships first before we can truly understand the underlying sickness within them? (yeayyy!!) 

err.. of course it's a Big No.

because those friendly advices, are not merely based on experiences, but they're from what are stated in the syara', of how a relationship between a guy and a girl should really be. you can find all sorts of things that are prohibited in Islam, but freely done in any pre-marital relationships anywhere. won't list them here, everybody knows them better. tepuk dada, tanya iman.

and secondly, how can you be so sure that once you've experienced it you will have the guts to leave that guy/girl behind. if you were already in a downward spiral, then i guess it might be easy (but you have a higher chance of relapse). but how about those who are happily in love (which are most, if not all, are Devil's Lies),  do you think it's easy for you to let go?

i am amazed at how people proclaim they are in love, when love itself is Allah's gift. so how can it be Allah's gift, when it is laid in the midst of all things Allah prohibited. cinta sejati? think again. and even if your love lasts till marriage (alhamdulillah), you and your spouse still need to repent for all the things that you have done in the past, because none of them was right in His Eyes.

by ~lolya of deviantart

so here is my advice for the umpteenth time, let it go. 
people may think you look sad and lonely, but you are the happiest inside. 
so just let go of that thin string. 
but trust me, as your heart flies up to the sky, someone will definitely caught it up there. 
and that Someone will never ever let you down. 
because He had Loved you the moment He Laid Eyes on you. 
so who can beat that kind of love?
(and mestilah Dia carikan mr Right yang beriman, kacak, bergaya lagi hensem. mwahaha~)
have a little faith.


yours truly,
someone who loves herself for letting go :)
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