sedih. everybody in this world has that phase. when something / someone made you overwhelmingly sad. even though you know that it all comes from Him,but still rasa sedih tu. takpe, it's fitrah. it's not wrong for us to acknowledge that fitrah.
but personally, i don't like it much. the being sad part. somehow it seems like kita tak redha dengan apa yang Allah bagi kan? not to say that we cant vent all those feelings out. boleh je. menangis la kalau nak menangis. tumbuk lah dinding ke ape. kick anything that you want to (err..except maybe your innocent roommate).
unleash your feelings outside with all those things if you want to, but never inside. because in your heart, you have to always make sure you're willing that all of that is happening to you. because it's His Qada' and Qadar. because it's His Plans to begin with.
this week i had one of those days. *putting the reasons aside* i was walking home alone, and i called Abah. i ended up crying all the way, till i reached my room. masuk duvet, sambung lagi nangis. mata merah. hidung merah. wishing Abah and Mama were there to hug me.
then i realized, tak malu ke Allah tengah tengok? of how i was so preoccupied with the sadness that i am feeling. crying over something that i couldn't get, and forgetting the rest of the things that i am getting. that many others dont even have. *haih...*
ever wondered why are we sad in the first place?
how can we be so sure that getting what we want will make us happy?
how can we be so sure that getting what we want will make all things easier?
are we sure that getting what we want will make us closer to Him?
won't it be all easier, if we assure ourselves of His Plans instead, no matter how bad it seems in our eyes. no matter how hard it is for us to face.
missed flight nak pergi London?
so much bad things seems to be happening all around,
and so many people crying over them.
and what's worse, some ends up 'merajuk dengan Allah'. where we would end up doing less things for Him. kurang solat sunat, kurang baca Quran, kurang berdoa pada Dia. why? because we think it's unfair for Him to put this heavy burden/ujian on us. naudzubillah.
i remembered Abah's constant reminder, about parents. "anak-anak, tak layak untuk merajuk dengan parents. no matter how wrong the parents are. there should always be a way for you to make them understand that they are wrong. but never merajuk." tak layak. that word caught me. if dengan parents pun kita tak layak untuk merajuk, let alone Our Creator. Who has given everything that we wished for (or not). tak layak untuk kita merajuk, just because He's not Giving us one particular thing. (which im very sure that it's for our own future benefit. be it in this life, or the Afterlife.)
nak merajuk dengan Allah? think again people. He has the ability to give you anything that you want, and even more; in just a blink of an eye. so when He Decided not to Give you something, He always has His Reasons. and it's always for our own benefit. the only thing we should do is just to believe in it. that's all.
so here is my advice and point to the whole entry;
Cry as much as you want.
but never let your heart cries along with you.
instead, Try assuring your heart to believe that Allah is just Planning things perfectly for you;
and it's just us who don't know much about them for now; but we will sooner or later, insyaAllah.
“Dan Apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) tentang Aku, maka katakanlah sesungguhnya Aku dekat.
Aku mengabulkan doa orang yang memohon
apabila ia memohon kepadaKu.
Maka hendaklah mereka memenuhi (panggilan/perintah)Ku, dan beriman kepadaKu agar mereka mendapat petunjuk (bimbingan)”.
done crying. am trying :)