Budak Sekolah Rendah

i rarely write these kinds of things, not because i dont have my own opinions; but often because there's so much of them out there, that adding yours doesn't benefit much pun. but i guess sometimes it's okay to be vocal about some critical thoughts kan? so here goes; to those who don't understand this; forgive me. i myself am not sure of what im writing, but i just feel like it. to those who get it, if my concept or understanding is wrong, do forgive me too. for i am just a mere being, bound to make mistakes. but it's the only way we will learn in life, kan? :P



kita, hanyalah budak sekolah rendah.
di kampung kita ni, ada beberapa buah sekolah rendah. semua kurikulum berbeza. ada yang fokus pada pelajaran sahaja, ada yang tekankan sports, ada yang tekankan communication skills. tapi in the end, semua nak benda sama, which is to make sure all of them students pass that one exam, the UPSR. because being a good debater, or the fastest runner in that 100m race, is still not enough. we all still need that UPSR scroll to enter Sekolah Menengah.

Kurikulum sekolah yang berbeza ini telah dihasilkan oleh Cikgu-cikgu yang sangat berkebolehan. they are ones who have seen enough and experience enough to come up with those curriculum. if we look at these differences from a bird's eye view, i believe we can all agree that these differences are for the best. they can cater for different types of students. yang introvert sikit, suka study sahaja, masuklah sekolah pertama. yang suka sports, masuk sekolah yang kedua. yang suka bersuara, masuk lah sekolah yang ketiga. janji, masuk dulu sekolah, belajar, dan ambik UPSR tu; along with the extra skills that they wanted.

so what's the problem?

the problem is, these budak-budak sekolah like to fight with one another. fighting over whose school is the best in the kampung. that's why i said, we are all budak-budak sekolah rendah. because we are just starting to understand what our curriculum is all about, and yet we are busy telling others that we are the best. baru je setahun jagung masuk sekolah. it goes to show how immature we are, when all we see is just that. 

try tanya Cikgu-cikgu, "Cikgu, sekolah mana yang terbaik?" they will surely laugh at us. because they, who created this curriculum, aimed to attract more and more students into school, to take that UPSR exam. Tak kisahlah sekolah mana-mana pun, sebab semuanya akan ada exam tu, insyaAllah.

questioning which school is the best; really, does it get us anywhere, once we know that our school is the best in the kampung? does it make the other school any less beneficial than ours?  does it make those students in those other school stupider? does it make the teachers in the other schools any less reliable?

if we question these things just to know which is the best for us, and which can help us score better in that UPSR exam, i guess it's fine. but if it's just to make you feel better about yourself, because you are a part of that so-called best school, then i suggest we take some time off. look deep into our Hearts, apa yang kita nak sebenarnya?



it's not enough to ask; yang manakah yang terbaik?
but the best thing to ask is; yang manakah yang terbaik untuk saya?

because eventually all of them aimed for the same thing. the most crucial point we should consider is, which medium will help us in making full use of our abilities, for the better. that's what i believe, we all should be looking for. and every person, have their own reasons for why they chose some things, and not the other. so let them be, asalkan tak langgar hukum Allah. if the things they chose are for the better, i think it's something we should be thankful for.

sama seperti cari pasangan lah. you don't go around just looking for the perfect partner; ok beragama, check; cantik, check; keturunan baik, check; sekufu, check; all those checks still won't mean a thing, if the Heart is not settled. dalam apa-apa pilihan pun, when the Heart is settled, when you can say that you have chosen one thing and make the best out of it; that is the right choice. and your choice will always be different than others because we all are created differently, and we all have our own reasons for the choices we make.

thus, let us all stop with the immature questions.
learn to accept, give and take.
husnuzon (think positive of others)
we all are living in a community, start by being a part of it.
even if we feel like the others are not making any effort, at least we know we've tried.

but again,
this is just an opinion.
coming from a mere budak sekolah rendah.
who wishes that all schools will produce 5As students all around.



im not THAT serious



kakak says im too serious that she's scared of reading my blog lately. (except the penyejuk hati one, cause she ended up calling Abah asking what's hers.haha) so here is me saying that im still the same little sist lah. 

one who talks different impromptu-alienic language with you just to confuse the cute mama.
one who joins forces with you pretending lin is invisible just to scare her.
one who says 'Laf To You too' back, instead of 'I love you too' that makes everyone around us wonder if we are that bad in English?
one who still misses the time you'd come by KMB and stayed in the room, just to exist in one's world. ;)
one who still misses the sleepovers at your 'bujang' house, when you would wake me up early and make me nasi goreng + nugget.

those times had passed. 
but the memories will always be there.
but no worries, cause new ones are being made too.

i've enjoyed every single moment and talks i had with you;
and am enjoying them still.
and they are what makes you the best and coolest Big Sister in the whole wide world.

thank You, for lending me you.

ps: is this an attempt to make you read my blog again? yes, it definitely is.

Laf To You kakak! :)

but there's one definite time i know that im serious; 
when im praying that we both will end up in His Jannah. :)

us, 5 years ago :)


Taman Itu


it's winter gathering time all over again. it's my third time this year, commemorating my third year here in Ireland. alhamdulillah. i chose to go to PUISI again just like last year, for no specific reason though. there are a few others going on around. PMS in Lake District, JUMS in Manchester, FIGO, FUIYO you name it. but i see them all the same, they are all 'taman syurga'.

so here i am, fresh from a great 4 days and 3 nights stay at a place, overseeing the sea. subhanallah cantik. but i've made the mistake of not bringing Mr Olly with me. so i dont have any pictures of:

1. those beautiful waves that made me go 'aaahhhhh' everytime i see them that even Nasreen (my partner-in-crime there) gets annoyed; because when i say everytime, i MEAN every single time.

2. Giant Cosway. (finally sampai jugak). despite having to fight the strong wind that makes my face all numb because it was so cold.

3. me crossing a bridge aka jambatan gantung, crossing over 2 steep cliffs. Abah will kill me, but i already did it. hoyeah! (despite the shaky legs and the feeling of something stuck in your throat). it's a great achievement i must say, considering i'm one who's gayat (read: scared of heights) even when i'm on a 3rd floor building.

3. me having to meet my bestie from Galway, my Lyntot. though us three musketeers Me, Lyn and Sreen took a lot of pictures. and with Amal too!! :)

4. me having to meet great people in those group activities, listening to others' perspectives and experiences.

5. of the great speaker flown all the way from Malaysia, Ust Shaari. with his ever-so-sweet wife and their first baby, yang extra comel.

6. of the huge white marque we were in, that shakes terribly because of the wind; but was standing strong all the way till the very last day.

7. of that night me and nasreen went out with our pajamas, and had our 'UFO-talk', enjoying the dark night while talking about a lot of things. enjoying the breeze from the shore, the sight of the lighthouse from the island across us. (eventhough it might be creepy, with us in our dark winter-coats. talking while hoping to spot UFOs. on that note; we agreed that they are not extra-terrestrials, but may be either jin or syaitoon.hehe)

well basically, what i'm saying here is, i had a great time, Allah-willing. i went there to seek ilmu, to not waste my time, to learn new things; and like always, Allah will surely give us more than what we bargained for, way more. alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. and im sure that elsewhere in other programmes, everybody felt the same way too.


on the last day, Nasreen kept on saying 'tak nak balik'. of how she wished she could spend more time in these kind of things. hating the fact that this feelings will go away in a few days time. naudzubillah. i didn't feel what she felt, and so i only gave her encouraging words. that it's normal, but we can always pray that Allah keep those feelings.

then later when we arrived at Dublin, we stopped by the mosque before heading home. i was preparing to make du'a after the prayers; that's when some things just flashed before my eyes.

remembering how great it has been, those 4 days and 3 nights. when what everybody talks about is Him. when all of us woke up early in the morning for qiam together. lari-lari anak kecil into that white cold marquee for our jemaah prayers. when all we listen to were great stories of those with firm beliefs in our Deen. at times we're seriously listening, at times we were discussing, at times we were laughing; but all those time, insyaAllah we were all rememebering Him.

then that scared feeling came. upon realizing that this taman syurga wont last. that i will eventually go back to reality, where taman-taman syurga has to be sought on my own. and i have to create them on my own. i prayed so much, that Allah would keep us in those taman syurga, for the rest of our lives. and that the next one will be The Jannah. it's definitely not easy, because of our iman yang turun naik, but it's not unattainable either. so prayers is all i have to offer at that time; praying whole-heartedly that Allah keep us safe and sound.

at that time; nasreen came and hugged me; 
"habis baru nak sedih."


well ya Allah, it's saddening because we all are weak abid (read: hamba) of yours, but in You we put our trust. we will make the effort insyaAllah. because how much effort we put in seeking your taman-taman syurga in this Dunya, somehow reflect how much we want Your Jannah. so this question always comes to mind; 

kalau taman-taman syurga pun kita tak kejar, 
what makes us think that we all are eligible to enter His Jannah?
do we really want It?

so make the effort guys.
cari taman-taman syurga tu.

and we will find Him,
waiting for us in The Jannah that we all prayed for


“Apabila kamu melalui Taman Syurga, maka ikutlah atau masuklah kamu padanya. Bertanya salah seorang sahabat: Apakah Taman Syurga itu, ya Rasulullah? Sabda Rasul: Yaitu Halqah-halqah dzikir (lingkaran orang berzikir)”. 
(HR. Imam Tarmizi).

“Apabila duduk suatu kaum mengucapkan dzikir ALLAH, maka melingkungi akan mereka malaikat-malaikat dan meliputi akan mereka Rahmat dan turut atas mereka SAKINAH (ketenangan jiwa) dan ALLAH menyebut mereka pada sisi-Nya”. 
(HR. Imam Muslim)

read more on taman syurga, here.

yours truly,
trying hard.


What Goes Around, Comes Around

i am 22 now. and i think it's old enough; to figure things out more, to dwell deeper into things. but sadly many still just don't.


instead; we are worrying how would guys see us, pretty enough? worrying how many of them would want to add us in facebook later on. worrying how many would click that Like button below our pictures. worrying this and that. 

worrying about the physical appearance, at this age, just because of the opposite sex, for me, it's just too much. shouldn't we all realize by now; that Allah is able to take them anytime? that so-called beauty of ours.

at that time, what do we have to offer? when our dresses, selendang and ornaments wont be there to help us. the jeweleries, the weird-styled hijabs, this and that. what do we have to offer, then?

beauty, if followed by what the society says, can never really get you anywhere; maybe perhaps that spot on the cover of magazines, or the latest malay movies. but real beauty, is always what is defined in our Deen. Beauty, is what's in the heart.

Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda: 

“Ketahuilah, di dalam tubuh itu ada segumpal daging. 
Bila ia baik maka baik pulalah seluruh tubuh. 
Dan apabila ia rusak maka rusak pulalah seluruh tubuh. 
Ketahuilah itu adalah hati.

(HR Bukhari dan Muslim)

just like how Islam has defined what Kecerdikan is. whilst we would define it as those getting 20As, or those who scored in exams, or those who's able to find weird solutions of every single math problems; we were taught otherwise:

Sabda Rasulullah:
"Orang yang paling cerdik adalah orang yang sentiasa mengingati mati." 
(Riwayat Ibnu Majah dan Ibnu Abidunya.)

and the list goes on. so it's frustrating really, when girls would lose that extra cloth; not covering the chests, or the shirt is just a little bit higher up than normal; just because we want that little extra attention from kaum Adam. it's frustrating, to see others putting on that extra spray, just to give that whiff to total strangers. apa guna tarik perhatian 50 orang lelaki, because eventually you'd want to end up with one? and that can only be great with His Izin.

but if the process involves breaking 50 rules of Allah, then i guess, what you give is what you get. in anything that we do, remember Allah. because What Goes Around, Comes Around. later in the Hereafter, if not now. and believe me, later in this sense does not make things any better. 

*what we should be looking for, is not people who wants us for how we look.
but those who want to walk with us together to Jannah.*

yours truly,
one who have countless of wrongdoings in this area alone.
way imperfect. but that doesn't mean i cant say what is right and what's not.

Those Days


it's one of those days again.
when i feel so tired of myself.
not being able to put a finger on what's bothering me most.
because too much has happened. intertwined with one another.

is it the environment?
is it the wrong things others are doing?
is it the wrong things I myself was doing?
is it the fact that we know its wrong, yet we're not doing anything about it?
is it the fact that we ourselves dont know what the hell are we doing there in the first place?

when life is not Allah-oriented, 
everything will be not-quite right, if not plainly wrong.
you may have fun, but you're just not happy.
you may eat a lot, but you're just not that full.
you may laugh, but you find it not that truly funny.

so you ended up tired.
really tired of how life has become.

then you're back home, flipping through some verses of the Quran.
and then you realized how great He is, for still giving you a chance to remember Him. 
instead of letting you go with the wordly flow. 
He still Gives you a chance to think of Him, despite just before, 
you were doing things that show so little of your remembrance of Him. 
He, who Watches you forgetting Him countless times, but never ever Leave your side; instead He Gives you more.

jadi tak malu ke kita, untuk buat benda tanpa fikir tentang Dia? tanpa fikir berapa banyak hukum Dia yang kita lawan?

but i guess, most of us really just dont care about Him. but do remember, that when that One Day (read: Hari Pembalasan) comes, the only one who can take care of us is Him. ask ourselves, do we think we deserve His Protection at that time? 
our actions NOW will decide.


yours truly,
a truly weak hamba. T,T


Penyejuk Hati


once, i had a deep thoughtful conversation with Abah. of  how does he feel about bringing up his children? how did he manage? how does he blend in with all our different characters? i think that the conversation actually stems up from Dad having advised me not to do this and that to my little sister, because it's not her style. that got me. cause it goes to show that he really does treat us accordingly; understanding every behaviour, every tantrum thrown by each of his child. (walaupun takde lah ramai sangat. empat je.hehe)

i am amazed, with all these differences, yet he and Mama still manage to make all of us felt that we are the most loved one, compared to the others. *haha* because everytime we have something extra, we would brag it to one another. like when Abah was kissing one's cheek in front of others ke, we would go loudly saying, "eh apa? ni anak abah paling sayang sekali?" hehe. dont worry, it's a healthy competition. it's not that we really fight for that spot. we all knew that we all are dearly loved. ^^,

sometimes, we siblings did ended up having conversations that we shouldn't be saying those things out loud.  because Abah and Mama will be too happy. knowing that they had done their job well, that all of us felt we are the most loved one. ceh!

anyways, back to my conversation with Dad. so he sort of explain how each and every children of his, fills different parts of his heart. each role was profound, that you don't really get jealous of the others. and mine was,  Penyejuk Hati. wuu.. rase nak nangis time tu. for my parents to feel that way about me, whilst i know for a fact that there had been so many things and words that might have hurt them indirectly. for giving me that title, i vow to myself that day i dont want to let them down with that. because to think of his children like that, they must've trusted us, whole-heartedly. :')

kalau betul penyejuk hati, my words should always soothes them, kan?
kalau betul penyejuk hati, my actions would always be respectful to them, kan?
kalau betul penyejuk hati, my doings will not hurt them at all kan?
kalau betul penyejuk hati, i should always be bringing them to Him kan?
*teary teary*

Abah + Mama may not realize it, but it has affected me since. that there is so much more that i need to do. my one and only aim right now, is to work hard, along with them, in this journey towards that Final Happy Ending, insyaAllah. which is to be in His Jannah. because Allah, this lowly servant of yours, would really, really want to meet You on that fateful day, along with her AbahMama.

so, how about you?
what's your part?
be sure to find one, and make the best of it.

‘Abd Allah ibn ‘Amr radhiallahu 'anh menerangkan bahawa seorang lelaki datang kepada Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam dan berkata:

“Sesungguhnya aku datang untuk memberi janji taat setia (bai‘ah) kepada engkau untuk berhijrah, akan tetapi aku meninggalkan kedua orang tuaku dalam keadaan menangis.” Rasulullah shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam berkata kepadanya:

“Kembalilah kepada mereka berdua dan jadikanlah mereka berdua ketawa (gembirakanlah mereka) sebagaimana kamu jadikan mereka menangis.”

[explanation of hadith, click here]


yours truly,

slightly home sick.

That Tukang Kasut

I seek protection from God against the Devil
In the name of Allah,the Most Gracious,the Most Merciful


tonight, i have been profoundly reminded, of how much i need His Protection, against all those subtle whispers from syaitoon. that even doing a simple thing like reminding others, may have not benefited us or others like how we wanted it too, but has in fact pushed us even further away. 

jazakillah khairan kathira Atiqah. for sharing this movie with us. one of the best 2 hours spent tonight. it's been so long since i have had these kinds of emotions while watching a movie. alhamdulillah. all praises goes to You. i pray Allah would forgive me and everyone insyaAllah, for all the sins that we have made. more so the unrealized ones. of riak, takabbur and ujub. 

"we are the chosen ones. we have been chosen." now, more than ever, i think these words shouldn't be uttered too much. it should always be with an 'if', IF You have chosen me to be here ya Allah, then make me a mukhliseen. IF you have chosen me to do something ya Allah, then make me a mukhliseen. IF You have chosen me to say something ya Allah, then make me a mukhliseen. 

as for that Tukang Kasut, here is the link for the movie. such a profound story with the biggest of impact, Alhamdulillah. i pray that all the people involved in it will be given hidayah. that they too, will get the message that they are putting across. because it's a great waste, if it didn't. so to those of you who might watch it, do pray for the casts and crews involved. pray that as much as you have received the impact from it, that they will receive it too, Allah-willing.

thank you Tukang Kasut. i've learnt a lot. but i'll only share one in here. the rest you can feel them for yourself insyaAllah. here goes:

apa yang kita kejar adalah redha Allah, so search for it while we still have Time. even if it's through the smallest of act. never feel ridiculed by the size of the thing that we are doing. make sure it is just to seek His Redha, because that should always be our ultimate aim in whatever that we do. and always bertaubat. because we are constantly mingled with sins.

ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa kami.
and please keep us safe in Your blanket, dunya wal akhirah. 

"Katakanlah: "Hai hamba-hamba-Ku yang melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri, janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa [1] semuanya. Sesungguhnya Dialah Yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang. (53) Dan kembalilah kamu kepada Tuhanmu, dan berserah dirilah kepada-Nya sebelum datang azab kepadamu kemudian kamu tidak dapat ditolong [lagi]. (54) Dan ikutilah sebaik-baik apa yang telah diturunkan kepadamu dari Tuhanmu [2] sebelum datang azab kepadamu dengan tiba-tiba, sedang kamu tidak menyadarinya, (55)"
[39: 53-55]

p.s: it may be just a typical story, that we have often heard of. but sometimes, typical stories are ones that get you the most. so to readers, if it's not that bothersome, do share with me what you have gained from it. i like to hear what others felt too.~

yours truly,
in need of constant cleansing.
of the Heart and Soul. :'(


of Koyak, Strength and Khadijah (ra)

be warned: ini post cinta.yang panjang lagi membosankan.
apologies for all things cheezy. isk. =,=''

seeing others finding their other halves, is like you watching cute babies. it makes you smile, when you see them smile. it's always a happy event. 


sometimes i ended up having mixed emotions instead. (ceh. nak cakap nak kawen jugak la tu) haha. no. that will not be my point for today. i've written about it once before. (read here) it's something that has been in and out of my thinking box for some while; just like a house-fly which is about to die, flying heavily and lazily around, buzzing in a distance. 


marriage. one will always wish for the best of the other half. the perfect one. i guess Perfect really does exist, because like beauty, it lies within the eyes of the beholder. so in this testing and scary world, we want that Perfect half more than ever. to help us face Dunya, which is always trying to push our most valuable yet most vulnerable thing of all, down; which is our iman.

kalau dulu kat sekolah, i'd always have a soft spot for 'stok surau'; that's what they would call it back then. no, not that lovey-dovey soft spot (eventhough i do have my fair share of crushes that i'd like to leave them all behind darkly in the past =,='') most of the time it's just that sense of respect towards them. these young people who recite Quran so beautifully bila solat jemaah kat surau sekolah/college. these young people who wore kopiah/songkok, not caring about looking cool or not. these young people who don't mingle with girls much. these young people who talk about Deen more than football. these kinds of young people.

and with age, of course that soft spot has been softer. maksudnya, i want my other half to be one of them. one who tries his best in heading towards Him, in the first half of his journey, who would then take my hand and guide me, together in the rest of the journey. when he'd be my Ali, and i'd be his Fatimah. 

but inevitably, this is the sad part, at least for me.
knowing that im nowhere near that definition of Fatimah.
yes, im speaking metaphorically here. because we all can never be one.

and so, i will always feel that little prick of hurt, whenever i see articles or heard stories that touched this point. no, im not blaming anyone here. we all have our share of principals with how we choose our partner. but for a girl who prays for a good guy like them, and yet having to listen and read of things like this coming from them; 

 "tapi bila tiba urusan bernikah, lebih utamakan calon pilihan sendiri, ex-schoolmate, kawan lama dan sebagainya lantas meninggalkan a*****t yang sama berjuang dengan kita."

ah~ ape orang kate? koyak. =,='' but because the reasons behind it are noble, i really dont have a say in it. and thus all i'm left with is this tinge of gloominess. that i am dreaming too big. 

because around me, i see friends yang sedang berjuang itu. the ones that should rightfully be with those kinds of guys. these beautiful ladies, wanita-wanita syurga. who are all aiming to be like Sayidatina Aisyah R.A. giving their all out. sacrificing so many things. they're nowhere near the typical definition of weak dependent girls. because they are ones who seek Allah themselves. charging towards any obstacles like Khaula al Azwar. 

unlike me, who sits in front of her lappy, adoring the first Ummul Mu'minin instead. loving it; when she put that blanket on our Prophet p.b.u.h, and said those encouraging and soothing words towards him, the time when he was dead scared after receiving the first wahyu; when she prepared the essentials for him before he headed off to Gua Hira'; when she would always go check on him herself should he be there too long; and if he's still not able come back, she would be home, patiently waiting for his return; and even the smallest of acts like preparing the water for his wudhu'. i loved them all. of how she has been the Prophet's strength.

like Khadijah (r.a), i want to be someone's strength too (through Him of course). that shoulder to cry on. the one poeple turn to. be it as a daughter, a sister or even a friend. and Allah willing, be the strength of the other half too, even if im not directly out and about with him. as of this moment, this is what i love, it's what i am (at least i think i am) and what i want to be. so if it means i have to stop that 'stok-surau' crushes of mine; or stop dreaming big, then be it.

because in the end, we can never really know what is best for us and what is not.
and prayers, (and maybe some orang tengah. haha)  are all that you need.

people would always say "match-made-in-Heaven."
it's because Allah is the One who's matching and making it all.

goodbye stupid koyak mood.
hello Qada'. hello Qadar. :)

وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيۡنَيۡكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعۡنَا بِهِۦۤ أَزۡوَٲجً۬ا مِّنۡہُمۡ زَهۡرَةَ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنۡيَا لِنَفۡتِنَہُمۡ فِيهِ‌ۚ وَرِزۡقُ رَبِّكَ خَيۡرٌ۬ وَأَبۡقَىٰ (١٣١) وَأۡمُرۡ أَهۡلَكَ بِٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَٱصۡطَبِرۡ عَلَيۡہَا‌ۖ لَا نَسۡـَٔلُكَ رِزۡقً۬ا‌ۖ نَّحۡنُ نَرۡزُقُكَ‌ۗ وَٱلۡعَـٰقِبَةُ لِلتَّقۡوَىٰ (١٣٢

And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allâh), the splendour of the life of this world that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting. (131)And enjoin As-Salât (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Salât (prayers)]. We ask not of you a provision (i.e. to give Us something: money); We provide for you. And the good end (i.e. Paradise) is for the Muttaqûn (pious and righteous persons - see V.2:2). (132)

yours truly,
de-stressing after exam ;)


We Can, but We Choose Not To

وَهَدَيۡنَـٰهُ ٱلنَّجۡدَيۡنِ

"Dan Kami telah menunjukkan kepadanya dua jalan
(jalan kebajikan dan jalan kejahatan)."


first off, i'd like to apologize beforehand, for this post i'm making yang akan berbaur judgmental. manusia. tipu siapa yang kata mereka tidak judgmental. because everyday, you have to judge what to do and what not to do. judgmental of the actions made (by you and others), but not judgemental of the individuals.

for example; someone raised his/her voice in front of his parents.
the right judgments made: tidak elok. a sinful act. (tegur terus, or doakan dia)
the wrong judgments: orang ni memang tak boleh pakai, kurang hajor @#$%^%&^*

so back to my post.

i find myself redirected to a malaysian blogger, younger than me, via an article about our Deen. it was a good reminder. so i continued looking around. only to find posts about fashion and styles, what she ate that day, how shopping is a good way to release stress, so on and so forth. 

followers: 40,000
comments for each post, berpuluh-puluh.
liked by many.

one particular post that i regretfully read, was about her showing the differences between her face, with and without make-up. the point she's trying to make? wallahua'lam. the comments by readers? abundant. ranging from "cantik je" to...er, "cantik sangat."

anyways, what amazes me most is of course the amount of followers it has. it made me realize how large the blogging community is (Malaysian teens specifically speaking.) and yet, these kinds of blogs are what attracts them the most. discussing superficial things, of nothing that will leave that strong deep impact in your heart.

if followers are what we are looking for, then i guess we all know what we should be babbling about in our blogs. for me, i know there's a whole bunch of stuff i can talk about in here;

like my collections of dresses and selendang, (cause it seems like the 'IT' thing nowadays);
from Zara, to H&M, to TopShop to Pashminas bought in Morocco etc


or my how-to to a healthy lifestyle;
from doing weights to eating dates to psychogenic water drinking.


or of the places that i have been to;
Morocco Paris London Barcelona Andalucia Scotland bla bla.

or of the daily beauty regimens;
from facial wash, shampoo, uses of olive oil and all the good stuff.

my point here is that, truthfully, i and so many out there, are just normal girls too. we all lead a similar life of many those out there. thinking of clothes to wear, loving all the pretty stuff, wanting to eat properly so not to be chubby etc. we all have the options of telling these all through our blogs, but we just don't. why? because for me, everytime i wanted to write in here, there is this simple question;

which one weighs more for my Akhirat account?
that long post about my prettiest collection of dresses and skirts;
or a single post reflecting about a hadith or a verse in the Quran?

we all know the answer to that, insyaAllah.

but of course, i too am having problems about this. (kalau tak takde la post ntah pape before this =,=''). but it's okay, because that is an ujian that Allah has prepared for every single moment that we have in our lives. of choosing between two things. some things are obvious, when it comes to choosing between Bad and Good. but the hardest ones are always choosing between the Good, Better, and the Best. and sadly enough we rarely choose the Best, because it will always be the hardest thing to do. 

as of blogging, of course it's a great feeling to have people following your blog and positive comments about it. it's always a confidence booster. but in the end, the vital question is always this, are we pleasing others, or pleasing Him?

blogging about beauty, fashion, gossips;
is always something that we can do, but we just choose not to.

sebab bila campur tolak tambah,
what benefit can we bring with us to akhirat,
when we talk about colour-matching clothes?


of Pen + Pages

to convey a good message doesn't necessarily have to be a long one.
doesn't necessarily have to be a well-written one either.
sometimes a sentence will do.
or even just a picture.

to not share anything, kononnya sebab busy exam,
is a very selfish thing to do, or more of a waste.
when anyone out there may bump into your blog,
and read an ayatul quran or two;
and benefit from it.

(ok. macam panjang jugak. =,='')

so here is my favourite excerpt of a hadith for the moment.

(ayat status facebook.heheh) 
feel like craving it in here for my future self.
and anyone who reads this.

"the Pens have been lifted,
and the Pages have dried."
full hadith here.

and it takes courage and understanding,
to believe in this;
that life, is no coincidence.

حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل
"Cukuplah Allah menjadi Penolong kami 
dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik Pelindung."

found on link

salam to all.
ps: 1 paper down. 5 more to go. pray for me + friends!!



a Daunting Beauty

image + news from link.

Dauntingly beautiful isn't it?
the huge wave, amidst the beautiful calm sky above.

"And We send the winds fertilizing (to fill heavily the clouds with water), 
then caused the water (rain) to descend from the sky, 
and We gave it to you to drink, and it is not you who are the owners of its stores 
[i.e. to give water to whom you like or to withhold it from whom you like]"

He always Mentions contradictory things like;
Maha Menghukum, yet Maha Pengampun.
to remind us to be fearful of His punishments, yet hopeful for His mercy and rewards.
etc etc.

dauntingly beautiful, kan?
both His Creations and His Words.
and definitely perfect.

yours truly,
back to my finals. =,=''
doakan please~ :)



found on link

study break.


Of Keeping Silent and L.O.L.ing

found on undefined

i should be sleeping. because i've got tons to study. and there's only a few days left. but no, im here again, in this blog of mine. *haih* i came across a situation today (more like read things off facebook). i had the urge to write back then, but i thought that i might as well keep it till after the exam. 

but it might slip my mind. so here goes.


Facebook. we all know about the Home page. where people's updates are all there for you to see. some will catch your eye, most will not. it's also where people show of their PDA (read: public display of affection), and we all would be so annoyed of having to read or see all the mushy things. but that was back then, when most of us didn't know about the Hide buttons.

where am i going at this again? ugh. sorry. blame the drugs and hormones that im confused about just hours ago. so back to my story. today a person shared a video on her/his wall. from the looks of it, seems like a typical "saya-nak-ajar-orang-pakai-selendang" tutorial video. come to think of it, i really don't quite know why i clicked it. it was more of a reflex.

so the video was made by a Muslim Malay girl. and yes, i do agree that hers was quite different from others. different as in totally different. it was not even a tutorial selendang whatnot video. and yes, she has a very 'unique' personality too i should say. maybe not one that can blend in with us typical beings. =,='' 

truthfully, when i watched it, my only conclusion was; "adoihh..." that's it. i have no desire whatsoever to comment about how she looks, what she says, or how she speaks. because, the fact is, there is no substance in it. and why would we busy ourselves to discuss about it? unless of course we want to really advise her, then please do so. but of all the comments in youTube, none of them was even close to nice. some tried, but it was only a mask of introduction, because in the end what they wanted to do was just bash her.

yes, there were some wrong things in the video that we all can reflect upon. but what frustrate me the most was the comments in facebook; on the wall of the one who posted the video in the first place. i thought it was their friend or something. but no, they were just sharing it for fun. posting it on facebook, so that you could bash about some random girl with your friends? astaghfirullah. 

LOLing here. 
LOLing there. 
making fun of everything. 
as if they are the cool ones.

at that point, whatever the girl in the video did, is nothing compared to what all these people did. they might think that they are better than her, because that's why they are laughing and bashing about her together; publicly in facebook. but in my eyes (if not in His Eyes), the bashing ones were all downgrading themselves, with every hateful comment they made, jokingly or not.

it's one thing to talk bad about people who did bad things to us,
(not to say that it's right because it's still wrong)
but it's a totally different thing to talk bad about people who have nothing to do with our lives.

there should always be a clear cut, with how you handle what others have done wrong. but one thing for sure, you dont go telling others about it, embarrassing the guilty ones; who may not even know what they did wrong. but one thing that we all know for sure, is that it's wrong to go parading about others' flaws and faults... as if we dont have any. =,=''

our Deen has always laid down the basics to how we handle someone's obvious wrongdoings; 

Rasulullah Saw besabda,

“Barangsiapa di antara kamu melihat kemungkaran, maka hendaklah ia mengubah dengan tangannya. 

Maka barangsiapa tidak mampu (mengubah dengan tangannya), 
hendaklah ia mengubah dengan lisannya, 
dan barangsiapa tidak mampu (mengubah dengan lisannya), 
hendaklah ia mengubah dengan hatinya,
tetapi yang demikian itu adalah selemah-lemah iman”

 (HR Muslim).

but if we cant seem to follow these beautiful steps;
then i suggest we all do this;

found on this link

keep silent.
way better than Laughing Out Loud about others.
because we are no better than them.

i'll end today's post with:
astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah.

May He Forgives;
you and me,
for our Unrealized Sins.


yours truly,
reminding others while reminding myself.


a girlish girl

exam in 4 days. and here i am taking a break. 
thought of posting some beautiful pictures i bumped into.
and collected.*wink*
man-made though. 

doakan saya dan kawan-kawan please.
that with all these hardships,
we all will be great doctors.
ameen :)

ps: Mama has been telling me she wants to make my wedding all white + soft pink. 
hmm.. =,=''

found on undefined

ayat for the night;

For truly with hardship comes ease; 
truly with hardship comes ease. 
(Surat al-Inshirah: 5-6)

ouh.and i miss this BooLat of mine.
macam muka aunty chik la kan kan? *wink*

yours truly,
a girlish girl at heart.
*sambil bajet buat muke paling cute dengan tanda peace* =,=''
(err..blame the finals.huhu)
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