kecik tapi besar

today's meeting had been a very fulfilling one.so i am going to share what we've talked about.

it's basically my own experience. it was the 2nd week of raya, but here, it's actually the second day of raya. so there was a lot of 'open houses' here and there by kakak n abg2 seniors. (they cooked very delicious meals. the abg seniors masak pulut kuning. isk~tercabar diri ini~ kene improve cooking skills up to their level!!) anyway, i experienced two totally different scenes. one: seeing students living in ireland. second: seeing families living in ireland.

basically, at the seniors', we eat separately, and we meet for the sake of well-wishing (in this case hari raya-wishing) to one another. alhamdulillah~ everything was going well. perut kenyang suka hati. then at night, i went along with my friends to a house where basically it was filled with families living in ireland. the menus were great. as well as the people there. they were all nice. it seemed like any 'open houses' i went to back in kelantan. but something made me feel uneasy. there was a session of karoeke-ing. there were newlyweds-with-one-kid there, and they sing. hm..nevermind that. i think they are still very much young, and their old lifestyle is still 'fresh' in their heart. but seeing a makcik (which i presume must already have a cucu) coming, eating, and suddenly singing. hm, that was new to me. i g uess my kelantan up-bringing is different. cause a friend whispered to me, saying that this is actually a very normal thing to do, even in Malaysia. hm..NORM.

well, singing with family~ karoeke-ing etc.. that i heard of. (mind you, i sing along with abah and his guitar every so often) But coming to friends' houses and singing~ and makcik bergelek dangdut? (yes.you read it right.makcik.bergelek dangdut) well, THAT i never knew of~

Another friend of mine, opened up my mind.she shared with me saying, that this is how it usually goes. (for families living overseas) they would gather and really, REALLY have fun. i didnt know that.

anyway, my point is. sometimes, there are things that became a norm, and one might be sneered at or laughed at when they couldn't cope with the norms. but in my opinion, (generally, i'm not just referring to this case) any form of 'kemunkaran', norms or not, you still have to be able to recognize it as a form of kemunkaran. and never let your heart say "it's okay.bende kecik je. everybody does this". because, it MAY seem like a very small issue, but once Allah asks you about it one day, i dont think it will be that small anymore. dont you think?


first of everything

hari ni.
usrah pertama di negara orang.
with housemates yang baik.
with kakak2 yang baik.

i am happy.
i am blessed.

to Him:



dreaming: a game of mind?

having them a lot lately.

some people say that they're some sort of a sign on
what will happen to you or what you should do in the future; especially if you were dreaming in the night. as in 12am onwards. but if it's after subuh, then it's plainly the devil's game. you know, giving you horrible nightmares etc.

i dont know why, maybe it's because im still paranoid about these two haram 'items' : piggy and doggy; i dreamt about them. some say it's not a good thing to tell your dreams / nightmares to others cause they may come true. but i dont quite consider these dreams of mine as nightmares. nevertheless. they're quite weird.

the first dream: was about mr piggy. well, that was during ramadhan. so i WAS a bit doubtful to say that the devils had intercepted my dreams. (haha) but in that dream, i was with my friends, and one of them (i dont remember who) was dragging a pink piglet. as in, there's a rope around the neck. ala2 cam bwk doggy kot. (i think this is the first time i dreamed of such creature.it's definitely disturbing people!) none of us touch it. but in that dream, i was asking everybody "tak kene samak ke ni?". because that piggy kept on, how do i say this, you know when dogs are wet, they will shake off the water from their body? yup, that's exactly what the piggy was doing, spraying droplets of water on us. then, i woke up. the first thing on my mind was, i definitely have to check back the food that we were eating. huhu~ it's quite a time-consuming process (at the early stages), because you have to constantly check the ingredients of the food that you're buying. nauzubillah, cuz the seniors told me sometimes even they missed the haram ingredient and continued purchasing them. huhu~nauzubillah~~

*selalu kene check. cuz selalu ade..isk2*

and then last night, i dreamt about mr doggy. this time, it was a small cute fluffy dog, falling on me!!! (how? it was on the hood of a car, and i was beside the car, and it fell off the hood onto me.huhu) and definitely, in this dream, saya samak. a young ustazah came and helped wash me up. it was a very educating dream, mind you. (huhu) but a freaky one!

*thankfully in ireland, they mostly have small puppies*

anyways, i dont know if these dreams are just plain weird dreams, or somehow some sort of a reminder. whatever it is, i have to be careful of piggy and doggy here. cuz they are EVERYWHERE. so to dearest friends, be careful especially with your clothing yang nk gune untuk sembahyang. (tips of your jeans etc) kita mungkin tak sedar, bahawa pakaian tu sudah kotor untuk solat. rajin2 kanlah diri untuk tukar pakaian for solat k? di mane2 pon kita berada.wallahua'lam~


i am engaged

when i came here.i noticed a couple. they just got married during the summer. they're 22. then i met another girl. she just got married. she's also 22. haih~ eventhough i joked a lot about it with my friends that they are now assuming i might be the first one to be married (haha), but truthfully, i cant imagine being married at such an early age. but of course, i cant say much. jodoh ni ketentuan Allah. nak ckap taknak awal2 pon tatau pe akan jadi in the future.

then i checked the facebook. pretty much ramai jugak buat status engaged. i used to believe there is really a term of 'bertunang rahsia'. you know. girl likes boy. boy likes girl too. girl brings boy to meet family. boy brings girl too. then family meet the other family. etc. majlis takde pon, but family paham2 gitu. hm, then i guess i might have been secretely engaged once too! LOL. but i came to understand this whole relationship thing differently in the end. remain friends. let Allah do the rest. there is nothing we should worry about. boy wont lose the girl he likes. girl wont lose the boy she likes. IF and only IF, Allah planned that they should be together. coz if that's not HIS plan, whatever status you put in your facebook, and how perfect you keep your relationship 'berlandaskan agama' pun, it's nothing.

so guys and girls. focus on diri, kuatkan pegangan to HIM, focus study and family. We have a lot more to face in the future. our family? how much time do we have with them that we are too eager to add another already? so be cool. kawan dulu semua2 ni. (not as in flirting here and there ok. but be friends like friends should be. help each other out.etc..etc..) put your faith that Mr and Miss Right is always around the corner, waiting for Allah to let you meet and fall in love. =)

InsyaAllah. let us all do it the right way.

i guess i am engaged.
engaged to a life full of bliss and hopefully blessings too.
owh.and..Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri~~
Maaf Zahir & Batin


bila ramadhan tak terasa

kejam bunyi. but it's the truth. maybe kalut tgh adapt to new lifestyle. tp that's how i feel sometimes.

1. tak makan: doesnt affect me much. maybe sejuk and classes, so tak fokus on perut tak berisi. anyway, back home, we can see Chinese or Indians sometimes having meals. other than that, all Malays are basically fasting. but here, the majority of them are eating. it's a month like any other months for them. so i dont quite feel the Holy month here.

2. tarawikh: back home, it's either ikut abah mama pegi masjid, or sembahyang jemaah at home. but it's quite a compulsary thing to do. sembahyang tarawikh and baca quran. and bila dah masuk 10 malam terakhir, the feeling of excitement bertambah. i remembered once keluar rumah kejap, tgk langit. excited tgh teka whether it might be the lailatul Qadr that night. (org cakap cuaca aritu tenang and sejuk). tp sini, it's freezing cold. everynight is still. all you do is sembahyang tarawikh sendiri dalam bilik. sambil tunggu isyak at 9.30, baca quran sorang2. it's like a normal night, except solat 11 rakaat extra. then tido.

but i think this is why we have to put more effort. baca quran ajak kawan2, so that rumah bergema dgn bacaan Quran je malam2. since bukak puasa kat rumah macam biase je, then pegi masjid2. (will be heading to Clonskeagh Mosque tonight. InsyaAllah), or might as well masak ramai2 so that boleh bukak puasa ramai2 and solat jemaah. those are the simple things that we can do here. InsyaAllah, nikmat Ramadhan akan datang balik.

So those yang masih belum fly, nikmatilah Ramadhan versi Malaysia tu sebaik2nya. =)

my first "bad day"

truth be told, takdela bad sgt. but it was quite tiring for me.

today is a very sunny day compared to hari2 lain. but still, very cold. lectures ok. some of them are fun as well. but the 'bad day' started during my evening CAL class.

1.basically we're in the computer labs. so we were supposed to be looking at slides on connective tissues. study them, identify, draw, label etc. but it seems like ade problem with the server. too many people i guess. so the class ended up early. an hour early. since byk masa, i decided to print out notes for the upcoming lectures. before that, turun la bawah gi IT service to topup my student card. nk print byk2. de la around 6e. enough for the notes that i want. but as i print it out, it seems i have missed the page setup or something (mane la nk cek bende tu..huhuu) so the papers coming out were huge!! huhu.. i tried stopping it but it continued to print a few more HUGE pages, until my money ran out. so basically i lost 6e just like that. haih~

*humungous paper. waste of money*

2. i was walking back to belgrove (sulking. merajuk dgn printer..isk2). and usually i have to walk down straight ahead from the HEA building and turn right. tapi takdir menentukan hari ni sy perasan another path which also takes a right turn. entah kenapa hati ni gedik nak try path baru (cuz im still exploring the campus), so i ended up pusing lagi jauh. mind you, it was freezing cold.

3. then balik, angin sangat kuat, tudung pun entah bentuk ape jadi.isk2.

it seems like a pretty bad day for me (told malin the whole story which she laughed for a good 10-minutes). but it's actually a pretty normal day, with some small2 ujian by Allah. i think that everyday, there will always be something happening to us. significant or not. and it may be good or bad. but it depends on us whether we should be happy about it or sulk on it. i made a mistake by sulking about it in the first place. but actually it's just some lessons for me to learn. first, i should be more careful in what i do. check everything first. secondly, jgn ikut path td. i can help by telling others who have the same level of curiosity like mine.

when everything that happened is Allah's will, you just have to believe that they all happened for a reason.



we are not alone

it's 8th of September. like i promised, im currently typing this post, in my new room, in the new house (student residence), in Belgrove, UCD, Ireland. (to start it off, alhamdulillah. Allah gave me what i wanted for almost 5 years)

it has only been 6 days. yup, ive been in ireland only for 6 days. but it seems like a lot has happened. ive learnt more than i could've imagined about life. i couldnt possibly tell all the stories of what had happened here. the weather? well, it's cold, very windy and it's drizzling most of the time.

living in a new place, we just have to adapt to their culture. understand what they are like. just today, me and the girls (malin,pika,ecah,epah n seha) went to Dublin Mosque for 'buka puasa'. they served free meals for 'berbuka' everyday.hehehehe~ some of the girls went with the seniors last weekend. we couldnt join them back then. so we decided to go on our own today. the mosque was originally a church. but it has been refurnished into a very comfortable mosque. we met some Arabs. one woman came to us, happily greeting us, and telling us how weird it is for her to see this many Muslims. (mind you, there were only 6 of us). she told us that she lived 3 hours away from Dublin, and there weren't many Muslims at her place. Alhamdulillah for us. we lived in a huge Muslim community back in Malaysia. Living here, you would be very thankful to see some.

We came back by Bus 19 and 10, it was about 10pm. we left the residence at 7pm. The 'matsalehs' seems to be having a party tonight. on our way, we could smell the 'masam' bau of alcohol. yup, it was pretty disturbing for me. and the cold windy air didnt help either. it was the first time for me. i didnt even know that was the smell of alcohol. haih..~ and as we came back, the party is definitely not over yet. we saw drunk people walking here and there. loud music, and police cars too (the garda). it was my first time again. pretty scary. on the pavements, there are lots and lots of cans and bottles of beer. totally busuk. and i saw disoriented girls and boys walking to their cars. it wasnt fun to watch.

it is only the first week of my new life. im learning to adapt. everybody is. i thought to myself, "this is life. there are good things and bad things. there are pros and cons. black and white. yin and yang?? haha.." but you just have to learn to adapt. not all things are happy and flowery, but they all can be bearable if you make them bearable.

Allah has chosen me to be where i am now. to do what i am doing now. the same goes to you. (yeah, you, the one who's reading this very sentence). So wherever we are, and whatever that we do, it's always Allah's will. So we have to remember that Allah is always with us, then everything will be juuuuust fine. InsyaAllah~


im leaving on a jet plane~

tingat zaman2 mude dulu pnah nyanyi lagu ni. jahil betol.malu lak rase. tp takpe. we make mistakes. then we learn from them. im leaving today for ireland. tonight to be exact. bag da pack. berat boleh tahan. barang agak banyak. haih.. pening jugak la sket2. i hope n pray that everything goes fine. InsyaAllah~

a few stuff happened. nk save dlm ni:

1. semalam planning on tarawikh kat masjid besi. tapi atas sebab2 tak dpt dielakkan, family buat jemaah di rumah kakak. takpela. meaningful jugak, bleh jemaah last dgn the whole family. siap tarawikh, buat solat hajat. this is where it meant a lot. tgh doa, tibe2 abah senyap. then dgr suara abah sebak. i know it wasnt solely because of me going away.coz at that time he was praying for us, his kids. hati sgt2 la tersentuh. so to abah: abah jgn sedih. ur kids will always be with you. no matter what. insyaAllah. to mama: mama sgt strong-hearted. thats why abah needs you by his side. huhu~ i love you both. Only Allah knows how much. to kakak, abe n lin: thanx for everything. i love you guys. jage mama n abah.
ps: doa kt yan k? biar iman yan terjage. n bertambah.insyaAllah~

2. merdeka? jahat lak rase. xprasan sgt pasal merdeka. tak brape nk ambik tau. terpikir gak, ade orang wat celebration ke malam tu?tp tak sanggup nk tau dgn detail. harapnye takde. n harap org buat solat tarawikh ramai2 kat dataran. n tambah solat hajat H1N1 ke. tapi if ade gak celebration, huh,, xtau la pe nk jadi. malaysia2..tapi pape hal. slamat MERDEKA malaysia.

3. dpt msgs arini. happy. rindu kawan2 already. thanx for all the well-wishes. n selamat belajar semua~ semoga Allah sentiasa di samping kita.

that's it for now. insyaAllah, ill be writing my next post in Ireland.
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