we often find faults in others, but rarely we take time off to find faults in ourselves. but Islam teaches otherwise. that we have to constantly look deep into what we're lacking of, a.k.a muhasabah.
of all the many faults i have in me, there is one that i've found out a long time ago. which is not reaching out to friends. even the close and best'est' ones :)
so here i am, humbly writing it down, with the hope that if any of those special people are reading it, they would forgive this imperfection of mine.
i find i rarely make the first call, rarely text the first message, rarely comment the pictures, rarely give gifts, rarely make a visit, rarely make the suggestion to go out; rare in everything there is that friends usually do. that's how i have been for as long as i could remember. despite the fact that i do miss them, talk about them, and pray for them; i rarely end up doing all those nice things to them.
it's always been something that's in the back of my head, that this hampehness of mine would one day hurt my friends; whether i know of it or not. and yes, today, i got that slap on the face. that i have hurt someone who i care about dearly.
but what amazes me most, is how this special person already forgets about it and called me like usual. i guess that's why she is called the best of friends. because even though she has an ugly person like me as her friend who rarely does anything special for her; she still makes the effort of making me feel special. EVERYtime she calls.
so to you dearest budak cantik lagi vein, thank you for forgiving and forgetting. and sorry for my faults.
i may not change much eventhough im admitting to all this, but i give you the permission to kick me in the shins and demand me stuff (affordable ones like belanja makan, hehe) should i make you feel neglected again.
and this goes to all my besties out there,
in PennState, in Dublin, in Galway, in UK, in Egypt, in Indonesia and definitely in Malaysia;
and everyone who i call friends. those who had touched my heart all these while;
you guys know that i Heart you right? heee *googly eyes*
and one of the best thing that i can do to prove it is only through my prayers of you.
so wherever you are, i pray that Allah blesses you guys through and through.
and of course,
sorry is always the hardest word, but it's the best solution to everything.
sorriiiieeeee *berkelip-kelip innocent*
“Jadilah pemaaf dan suruhlah orang mengerjakan yang makruf,
serta jangan pedulikan orang-orang yang bodoh.”
“Tetapi barang siapa bersabar dan memaafkan, sungguh yang demikian itu yang termasuk perbuatan yang mulia.” [42:43]
“Allah tidak akan menambah kemaafan seseorang, melainkan dengan kemuliaan, dan tidaklah seseorang merendahkan dirinya karena Allah melainkan Allah akan meninggikan derajatnya.”
(Hadith riyawat Bukhari dan Muslim)
a friend. that lacks everything.