this is how i love them

by *DesignJunkyGrafix

starting the day with a blog post today :) i realized i am starting to become one of those who have to FIND time to call their loved ones. so wrong~~

last night i finally managed to call abah mama again. *come to think of it, i think it's just a  2 day gap kot* talked to dad about lotss of things on my mind. the latest news like results what not. hehe. yes, abah & mama are usually the first ones that i'd tell all my results to. since  i was 6 years old i think, when i got home from the kindergarten in front of the house, and was frustrated cuz this boy Ramli, *im amazed too that i can still remember that kid's name* got number 1 instead. i guess my passion to  do my best all those years back is due to the fact i want to be able to tell them i got this and that.

remembered one of the best day of my life was when i was able to tell the whole world (err.more precisely the whole dewan je la kot) in my speech how thankful i am to them and how much i love them. making our parents & family proud  i believe is in everybody's head right?

but alhamdulillah too, as i grew up some significant events took place, teaching me that there's more to just pleasing our loved ones. we have the Ultimate Lover too who we all have to please. and life got harder of course, and i guess the concept of tawakkal plays a major role now in my life compared to my life back then when i was 17 . i guess He is the Best Planner. i was on top of my world back then. He Made everything so easy. i got what i wanted all the time. but i guess He humbles me back as i grew up, something that i totally need. alhamdulillah for that.

but then, eventhough most of the time i would look back and be thankful for the life i had, there ARE times when i just wish i am able to make my parents proud like the way i used to. *well at least i think i did*. to be able to show them that i had literally done or achieve something. but the more i tried, the harder it became. ~sigh~

but in the end these are all in His Plans. at least i think for now, my priorities are right. if i work hard just to please them literally as a proof to how much i love them, then whose gonna work hard to become a solehah daughter, because we all know that the prayers coming from anak soleh/solehah will surely be granted by Him.  

and what better proof to show them how much we love them, than our sincere prayers? so i think it all goes back to Him.

ouh. and after talking to them lastnight and i was about to go to dreamland, i got a text message from abah that made me cry to sleep. :')  (no editing at all)

"La tahzan. Allah sayangkan yan.

Kalau Dia buat everything easy untuk yan

nanti yan kurang ingat Dia.

Talk to Him ok.

I'll slow talk to Him too. Luv you"

cant help but smile at this part:
ill slow talk to Him too.

ya Allah,

please Grant them Your Jannah

please Grant them Your Jannah

please Grant them Your Jannah.

and let me be with them too.

:')

yours truly,

someone who's trying hard to be a good abid and a good daughter.