here. there. wherever. whatever.

written on: 2nd of april 2011

attended the other thing, cuz i cudnt attend the
thing that i wanted to.

and here's what i felt. *in malay + english. it's hard 
to explain just in one language. 
im not a good poet nor a good penyajak. 
apologies beforehand*

im standing here.
im here, and they are there.
but despite being here, 
i still look both ways. always have. and always will.

when i look there;

melihat kerenah orang.
mendengar cemuhan orang.
memikirkan apa yang difikirkan orang.

what did they see?
what did they hear?
what did they do to them?

that makes them so angry.
that makes them so annoyed.
that makes them so irritated.

because i kept hearing the same thing.
being repeated. over. over. and over again.

am i the only one who cant see what they saw? 
am i the only one who cant hear what they heard?

selfish. ego. angkuh. sombong. superior. fanatik.
those words were being repeated over and over again. 
judge on your own, which category will these words fall into.
encouraging words? or the other?

and then i look here,

no words were uttered;
not a word to deny the things being said. 
not a word to even defend themselves;
let alone to say those hatred words back.

but wallahua'lam.

when i think back;
i still dont see the things that they are seeing.
i still dont hear the things that they are hearing.

i see no selfishness. i see no fakeness.
i see no angkuh, sombong, ego, superiority etc.
all i see is everyone pushing everyone else forward.

i feel no hatred.
i feel no dendam.
i have no judgements.

i like what im doing. i like what they are doing too.
we're here. and they are there.
and i know the aim is all the same,
to gain his Redha, and His Love.

so why the hatred? why the anger?
but i guess im not that knowledgeable enough
to have much say in this.
thus, silence is the best remedy.


a tinyyy part of my heart cant help it.
to feel a bit sad when people are angry for reasons i cant even see. 

yours truly,
coretan hati yang mungkin orang faham, 
mungkin orang tak faham, tapi Dia konfem faham.


Fazdlin Rahim said...

ohh. looks like im among those yg x faham ur entry. (-__-)"

however, i just wanna say Don't worry yan. kan apa2 yg happens, has been decide by Him. every movement and even everything that CROSS YOUR MIND. dia yang decide. so, He might want you to think. i don't know.. i can't say much as me myself don't know.

berusaha! yosh!

“Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya...." [2 : 286]

p/s : nk tgk gmbr hr tu. T_T

Atiqah Zainal said...

yan..same here as well..x phm post ni..O_o

but anyway, hope u find what u are looking for..insyaAllah.=)

pray to Him, as He understands everything rite? ^_^

idola said...

Salam wbt,

first and foremost, my deepest apology to you. somehow i feel guilty reading this post.

mgkin faham,mgkin xfaham apa yg post ni maksudkan.i dont really know what happened back then, but aft went thru all the videos 1 thing i strongly agree is "sepakat dlm perkara yg dipersetujui, toleransi dlm perkara yg diselisihi." that is my no 1 objective.

im truly sorry to everyone. i feel all the responsibilities are upon my shoulder if things go the other way around.


cik Lisa yg Gemok said...

manusia akan cakap apa sahaja untuk menang. jangan dilayan..

yg mungkin faham

izyan.ariff said...

@lyn and tiqah:
haha..comel. wlpn korg tak fham, but your nasihat2 still comel sgt2. thats y i love blogging. u get unexpected support ;)
tp tiqah insyaAllah da fham. sory lyn.ande jauh sgt.hehehe

huhu.sory2. not an intention to make anyone feel guilty sebnrnye. just luahan hati sudut len sket mungkin? wallahua'lam, i support the notion. and i went there to listen. cuz seyez btul2 tatau. i agree with the point too. but contoh2 yg digunekan, rase terkilan skeeeeet kot. huhu.tp mungkin la sbb pompuan. dmam lagi aritu. so sensitif skeeet kot.haha..sory2.

but u cant be responsible for thngs coming out of evrybody's mouth. so no worries. ^^, semua ade hikmah.perselisihan pn ade hikmah iA.

@lisa. haha. tu la slalu tak fikir pn. caught up sket. biase la..girly2 emosi.haha :)

Iman said...

salam. yan, takpe I understand.. :) because I know what events took place during the weekend ;)

I seem to go through the same thing over and over again.. but by the end of the day, it always come down to one thing; who are we trying to please? :D

I'm not that strong as the others; so maybe that's all i have to say. hihi. semoga cepat sembuh yan, if belum.. I might see you soon insyaAllah ;)

across the sea, a country away,
- Iman

Fazdlin Rahim said...

this makes me super jealous. huhu.

BTW, I pray that Allah ease ur way. I agree with Iman. who are we trying to please actually?

and after all, like u were saying, we can't stop things that are coming out from people mouth.

just ignore what people say and do lots of reading. Reading really helps us to discover things unexpectedly!! subhanallah and show the truth on everyhting that we do not know.

izyan.ariff said...

@ iman; jzkk deary. true. it all goes back to answering that question. pleasing Allah je. da sembuh. dearrrr~~ r u comin over??? do telllll ~~

@lyn: haha. jgn jelez dear ;) btul. reading sgt penting. and i hate myself more and more for not being able to do so much. *obviously sbb tak reti utilize mase lg.huhu*

budak said...

cukuplah hati sebagai neraca, dan neraca yg baik hanya akan dapat dari hati yg bersih :)

suke soalan di atas. who are we trying to please actually?
kalaulah hanya Allah menjadi tujuan, bende2 kecik mesti kite akan abaikan.. so xkan wujud la situasi2 seperti di atas ni.. kate nak dapat keredhaan Allah, tp kalau cara xkena pun xdpt redha jugak.. huu

*reflecting myself* takut2 menyangka diri sedang mengejar yg benar, tetapi rupanya melangkah dalam cara yg salah T.T

btw doakanla kite ni jadi org2 yg Allah bg petunjuk.
utk sentiasa berada dlm jalan yg dpt membawa kita ke arah Dia insyaAllah.
semoga hati bersih utk Dia :)

ps : luv u yan.. wohoa O.o

izyan.ariff said...

@muna: jzkk syg. haih..sy jelez ngn kamu skrg. nk lari cam muna....sob2~

hehehe...love u too dear. fillah insyaAllah ^^,

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