make the choice

when these two words are said: lebih baik, what comes to mind?

1. people who WE think, think they are better than others?
2. or us, thinking that at least, WE are better than some people out there.

no. these my friends, are the wrongful thinking. because when being better is mentioned, it should only lead us to one question:

how much have we change for the better today, as compared to yesterday?

in simpler malay words *because im not that good in english*:

sejauh manakah kita lebih baik dari semalam?

some hateful feelings will creep into me, whenever i hear people complaining about other people's good deeds. because in my opinion, don't question complain about the good things that others are doing, especially out of our own ignorance.

"lo.. tak perlu pun break-break. jaga relationship elok-elok sudey.."

"lo.. buat ape nak tunduk-tunduk bila jalan? rempuh tiang baru tau."

"lo.. buat ape taknak borak-borak ngan laki? bukannya diorang suka perempuan tu pun."

"lo..keluar makan-makan 2 orang pun tak boleh? kawan je pun."

when we complain about them, ask ourselves why are we doing so? because when we see girls who strip off their hijab, we never question or complain about that. when we see our friends back-hugging their baby-boo, we never question or complain about that. when we see a friend skipping the Jumaat prayer, we never question or complain about that.

"pilihan diorang. malas nak masuk campur."

same goes to them. they are also choosing a path. a path that you and i may not know much, because of our ignorance. =,='' but it's reality. bila yang betul dipersoalkan, yang salah dibiarkan. the truth is, the questions and complains, i think i have the answers for them.

Break.

sebab semalam dia nak jugak cakap I love you sebelum tidur. lepas break dia tak cakap dah.

Jalan tunduk.

sebab semalam dia nak tengok perempuan cantik tu 3 kali. hari ni dia rempuh tiang pun tak kisah.

Tak berborak dengan lelaki.

sebab semalam mamat tu berkenan kat suara dia. hari ni takde.

Tak keluar makan berdua.

sebab semalam rasa hati dah lemah. tertarik dengan bisikan cinta tanpa Allah.

by ~tomatokisses of deviantart
* lets make tomorrow a better day~insyaAllah*

they are just trying to be better, than how they have been the day before.

they are not trying to be better than other people around them.

they are not trying to be better than us.

but they ARE trying to be better, in the Eyes of our Creator.

because this is the path of those who believe that Allah is Watching.

all the time.

pick one. you can be the 'we', or you can walk proudly as 'them'. 

the choice is yours. 

Sabda Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. yang bermaksud:

“Barangsiapa yang amalannya hari ini lebih baik dari semalam, dia adalah orang yang beruntung.

Barangsiapa yang amalannya hari ini sama dengan yang semalam,dia adalah orang yang rugi.

Dan barangsiapa yang amalannya hari ini lebih buruk dari hari semalam,dia tergolong orang yang dilaknat Allah S.W.T.”

naudzubillah.

wallahua'lam.

yours truly,
hamba Allah yang masih lemah untuk buat semua yang tersebut.
tapi tak salah untuk mengingatkan diri dan orang lain kan? :)

that moment

5.03pm. Health Science Building, Univ College Dublin. the washroom beside the computer lab. :)

i went there, empty bottle in hand (all girls who studies here know why we need this) and i caught a glimpse of a white-girl applying re-applying her make-up in front of the sinks before going in. using a huge brush what-not. and 3 minutes later, she was still there. when i was washing my hands, she was still there. when i was fixing my skirt. she was still there. and as i was leaving, she was still there. 

'that moment', occurred in between.

as i was done washing my hands and drying them up. i decided to fix my hijab, since my inner scarf has moved around quite a lot after a long day; (afraid that some of my hair might have a little peak of the outside world.) ^,^

by ~aimeelikestotakepics of deviantart

two girls, facing the same mirror. 

with two totally different reasons.

'that moment' when i am very much thankful to Allah. 

for giving me this life; 

a life as a Muslim.

how about you?

have you had those moments today?

ps: abah's cousin, Pakcik Lah died earlier today due to cancer. hoping the readers would take the time untuk sedekahkan Al-Fatihah. semoga roh arwah diletakkan dalam kelompok orang-orang yang beriman. jazakumullah :)

yours truly,

minggu depan test. Gambate & tawakkal :)

suara kita

by ~SarahMaeH of deviantart

when i was 16, i just got into mrsm pc, and we had our orientation week. and we were divided into groups and everybody had to perform. anything. and we decided to perform a song. and i took the guitar and sing with my group. Avril's song i think. and there were another couple of performances i did in the next few years. 

*sigh*

no. im not  trying to write sins or tragedies here. im just saying that there used to be this phase in my life. where i didn't even know that singing, for women, is a form of aurat. but alhamdulillah eventually the knowledge came across. (eventhough i might execute this knowledge of mine a teeny bit slowly; cuz i still ended up performing with the guitar even though i didn't sing.) *sigh again*

so anyway.

i came across this cute girl (my little sister is almost the same age as her) in youtube. i've heard of her once but didn't take notice of her, because i thought she was the usual kind of girl you can find all around the world with a guitar, a nice voice, a webcam, and a youtube account, doing different covers of all types of songs. mind you. i sometimes do it too. minus the posting on youtube though. and minus the nice voice. my family listens to my singing; unfortunately enough for them.  =,=''

but it turns out this girl is not that usual. because people have found out about her, and she's becoming more popular everyday. that's where things get hard. i used to think that these posting-in-youtube people, would end up discouraged of their singing attempts, for it is just a phase of wanting to be a rock-star, and eventually they will come to their senses and live life properly. (with the hope that they would repent on the previous sins and delete back all the videos.)

but it's the opposite for this girl. her fitnah (ujian/test) is bigger and harder now. getting into television shows etc. and being the kid she is, i feel sorry for her. for not knowing. or if she ended up knowing, i wish she would be stronger to throw this kind of life away. she is too young to be involved with this. she's not ana rafali whose old enough to choose what is right and what is wrong. to me, a 16-years-old girl is just a victim, of a deteriorating society that she's living in. for she's just a girl whose caught up with the attention that she's getting from the wrong kinds of people; those who thinks singing and dancing and fashion is way more important than being a servant to Allah.

my prayers are with her. and her parents too. so that with Allah's will, someone will knock some senses into the parent's heads. there is a whole range of opportunities in her future life, that can make her closer to Allah.  why did the parents let her? i can only wonder.

and as for us, the one who is watching her:

if we're watching her happily,

enjoying her singing,

without worrying about the many non-mahram guys listening to her too.

then i guess we have to pray for ourselves first,

before we can pray for her.

because not recognizing what is wrong and what is right,

is a thing we all need to be worried of.

walaubagaimanapun.

this is just my opinion. to me, i take that a woman singing in front of non-mahrams, is a form of aurat. eventhough there are quite a few opposing opinions about this. but you guys can read more of it on your own. look up for scholarly articles from the right people. but to me, it's a thing that attracts men, so i guess anyone can't contradict that it is wrong. wallahua'lam. an opinion is just an opinion. 

“...maka, janganlah kamu tunduk ketika berbicara (dengan manja, merayu, dan sebagainya).(sebab), nanti akan timbul keinginan orang yang ada penyakit dalam hatinya (keinginan nafsu berahinya). Dan ucapkanlah perkataan yang baik (sopan santun).” [Al Ahzab:32]

yours truly,

one who still sings a lot,

and pretending to be cool with the guitar in her own room. :) 

give & not take.

erti hidup untuk memberi.

ever heard of it?
i think this might have been my fifth time writing a post this week.
but i ended up backspacing it all.
or tekan Ctrl+A, and Delete.

funny how this brain seems to not be having the courage to write.
sedangkan dalam otak banyak je yang nak cakap.

kenapa backspace? kenapa delete?
i hate it when im in this phase.
untuk tidak memberi.

memberi apa?
anything for that matter.
advices. stories that may change some hearts out there.
amar makruf.
nahi munkar.

that's why i love blogging in the first place.
to know that somewhere out there,
there are people who understands what you are talking about.
and try to change for the better along with you.

ok. this is an introduction for my post tonight.
i think i rarely do this. typing away whatever my head is saying.
seriously tak fikir panjang.

i used to write my muhasabah too in here. i think.
why am i thinking too much?
buat je la kan?
you lose nothing. you gain much more.

ok.
the end.

ps: pesan seseorang, kalau betul nak 'memberi' melalui penulisan, buat betul-betul.

"Hiduplah untuk memberi sebanyak-banyaknya, 
bukan untuk menerima sebanyak-banyaknya"

-Laskar Pelangi (Indonesian movie)-

yours truly,
yang ingin hidup untuk memberi.
Ameen.

ignorance is.

by ^casperium of deviantart

"ignorance is bliss" they say. to a certain extent it's true. for example you better be ignorant of all the many different lives you can explore in facebook (note: stalking). for i guess everyone, including me, are somewhat exposing our lives away, even the tiny little secrets; intentionally or not. heck, even everybody knows where everybody's at! (note: check-in application).

*****

but ignorance is not always bliss, when it comes to the people that you care about. and because of wanting to ignore the so many lives before me, i tend to ignore the lives of those who i care about too. facebook, being the social network it is, does provide us some extent of connection to those who are close to us, yet far from sight. but because they are all mixed and tangled up with people who we have only seen once in our lives, we leave them all for good.

which leads me to my personal agony. when yesterday i decided to check on those who i miss, and baM! the guilt and the frustration of not knowing earlier things that i should have. hadoih. i hate myself for not knowing. because not knowing also means not caring. which is not true!! 

so to those out there who i care about, sorry for not being the best of family / friend / student / sister etc. even though  i may have not literally or virtually been there for all of you, do know that all of you have always been in my prayers. insyaAllah.

and yes, i'll try and be less ignorant in the future.

while we're on this topic, here's an extra reminder. for the thing worse than being ignorant of the people around us; it's being ignorant of the truth (teachings of Islam). seek knowledge of our Deen; question and learn. it's the only way to keep us in the right path. for ignorance is the reason for sin. it encourages sins and leads us to it. nau'dzubillah.

“There is in ignorance a death for its people before death, and their bodies before burial are graves, and their souls are in grief on account of their bodies, and there is no resurrection for them (from death) until the Resurrection.”

 (quoted)

yours truly,

ignorant-less. :)

22

i only got 15 minutes left before my birthday officially ends.

but i too, (read ika's blog) am contemplating what should i write in here. so i checked back my previous 2 posts that i've wrote in here about my birthdays. ahh,,, still hard.

recap of my day.

6th october 2011.

i turned 22 in malaysia-time. received a lot of well-wishes from friends in facebook. like last year, i dont know why, but it makes me soo happy to see random friends who took their time off and thought of you :')

at midnight, i happily skyped with abah mama kakak lin and airaa. having to see her Boolat-ness is a blessing. i miss her so much! (should have put her in the bag to dublin.)

5 minutes later, my beautiful housemates came in with an Angry Bird birthday cake. we celebrated while my family watched through skype. to Pizu! it was perfect. Thank you!

next day, the girls ended up bringing me to the city. just for some time out. i was happily going to eat out with them, when they have secretly asked my Efa to join along too! we enjoyed a nice lunch-date together.

it was dark already when i went back home. i was already very much happy with how the day ended. alhamdulillah for everything. but unknowingly, downstairs was a bunch of sweet people preparing the best of surprise.

i was called and when i was outside the room, the house was dark, with candles here and there. romantic habis! and in the living room, amidst the darkness, figures of people start popping out in front of me and ika. and we were screaming. haha :) (this time around, i couldn't contain my tears anymore!)

there were another 2 delicious cakes, we talked, we filled ourselves up with glucose, we played games, they made us a veryyy sweet video, we took pictures, some presents-giving ceremony. and then it was time for some speech from both Ika and me.

the peak of my day was when they asked me to recite a doa. semua akan aminkan, with the hope that all the malaikat around us akan aminkan jugak. insyaAllah.

so i really took that chance. and what i recited, i meant them with all my heart, and it goes out to everyone, i hope. insyaAllah.

i've said this a thousand times and i shall say it again. alhamdulillah is the best word to describe my day. for all the blessings that Allah had given me. for giving me the chance to live with these people around me. alhamdulillah. for all the nikmat that you have given me.

and jazakumullahu khairan kathira. for everyone who has put a smile on my face and my heart. not just for today, not just for my birthdays, but for the past 22 years that i have lived. my prayer is that everyone of these people who have been a part of my life, significantly or not, will all end up in His Heaven, where there we shall meet happily again, under His Blessings. ameen ameen ya Rabb.

ps: and thank you facebook, for enabling me to see the hundreds of well-wishes from friends all around. and twitter too. and skype. and handphones. so much to be thankful for right now. hehe

to my future self, never stop saying alhamdulillah ;)

yours truly,

the birthday girl. :)

thank you for the flowers..

ask any girl. they'd be smiling from ear to ear should they receive a fresh bouquet of flowers. especially if it's from a special someone.

to awak: thank you very much. again, your flowers made my day. and made my room all smelling floweryyy of roses and lilies. i know this post seems weird. i think this must've been the 10th bouquet of flowers i've received from you (ke tak? tapi dah banyak la kan. hee.). have always planned on compiling them and posting it all. but the pictures from before were in the hard-disc that i left back home. nanti dah dapat i might upload them. or maybe tengok for my own self satisfaction. hehe. im posting this in my blog to show you how thankful i am. (and make people jealous.lolss)

here are some pictures.

fresh roses :) i love them soooo much!

and the other day, i went back home at about 6pm. to enter a room filled with the setting sunlight.

it was too beautiful T,T

and the room looked nice too.heheh

thank you so much for all the flowers and gifts. and most importantly for being there for me.

thank you for everything.

i pray for you all the happiness in the world. and the hereafter.

insyaAllah.

“ Engkau tersenyum di hadapan saudaramu adalah sedekah” 

Hadith riwayat Bukhari.

ouh. for those of you who's wondering who this special someone is?

it's my efa. hehe.

(sape tertipu ingat lelaki angkat tangan.hehe)

me + efa @ open house roebuck downs.

ps: sorry my future Mr Right (wherever you are). 

this girl beats you in the flower-giving department.

lol.

yours truly,

thankful for the friendship. ;)