grab it

opportunities

chances

they are endless

yet, here we are

most of us

only watching and staring from the sidelines..

alhamdulillah. it seems like many of us - muslim students that is- are starting to understand Islam. with all the usrah and tarbiyah that we are involved with, many are starting to grasp the concept of dakwah. *diri ini tak terkecuali. walaupn pace kura2 tua yg sgtlah slow..huhu* But we all have different paces though. Some can run, some jog, some walk, some even crawl. So some people may have understood the responsibility that Allah has given to all who proclaimed themselves as Muslims, by doing as much dakwah as possible, yet some are not ready to take the responsibilities just yet. I say 'yet', because in the end you have to do it no matter what.

Doing it is not easy. It involves your time, your energy, your money, your effort. But are they really 

YOUR time, YOUR energy, YOUR money, YOUR effort? 

Truth is, all of these are His to own. the only thing He wants to see is us MAKING the decision to use all this borrowed things accordingly, along His path. So this is where i wonder. Being here in Ireland, i see endless opportunities being thrown here and there, endless events that we can join and enjoy, whilst doing dakwah at the same time, not to mention helping ourselves! (ye la..byk pahala ni..kite je tak nampak) usrah, PMS, winter + spring + summer camps, relief missions, events by all sorts of organizations - IMAM, FOSIS, MSM, PPIMI - the list is endless.

But still, there are those who understood Islam and dakwah, yet they are neither running, nor jogging, nor walking, nor crawling. they are the ones who stare and watch from the sidelines. They are the ones who threw away all these endless opportunities coming their way. I'm saying this, not to condemn others. But instead, may it be a reminder, for you and i, who claimed that we are brothers and sisters in Islam.

cant we just stop and think for a while..?

When there are others who are putting their lives on hold, sacrificing a whole lot more, only to search for a chance to help Islam; we are the ones who looked away, when we are presented with such chances.

When others are planning and managing their time as much as they can to fit in any usrah or Islamic events; we are busy scribbling notes on our planner for the movies and dramas that we are going to watch.

We humans are weak.

we are not willing to spend 2 hours in usrah, 

but we are willing to spend 5-6 hours watching YouTube and facebooking.

we are not willing to pay for a religious program or talks costing 11euros,

but we are willing to watch a movie for 11euros.

but knowing that we're weak, we should at least try harder to be stronger, instead of just admitting that
manusia itu lemah.

Chances and opportunities to be a Muslim are presented, yet, when there is nothing to stop us, we are busy creating things to stop ourselves. Looking for excuses that dont even exist in the first place. I wonder why? Do we think that we have all the time in the world? Do remind ourselves, that our lives here is only about 2 hours of the life that we will have in the hereafter. and that is for those who might live for 100 years. (tapi kalau duk minum air coke, makan chocolates, added MSG lagi, tak sampai kot 100 taun)

so change now.

stop staring.

grab it.

ps: this is me. retrospecting in public. wallahua'lam ^,^

tak faham pun..

tapi suka.

tak faham pun..

tapi rasa tenang.

i think ive written a fact about me in one of my old posts: i love music. i might sing along to the latest songs in the radios, but my all-time-favorite songs would always be slow songs; slow rock..ballads..etc. lately, im into korean songs; all their slow tunes, soft ballads. im into them. i dont understand one word of what they're saying, but the song itself; the melody, the words; seems to fall into place. Their songs definitely influence my mood at times. Some days, even the sky seems brighter whenever i listen to them while walking back from the classes. heheh. *rase cam dalam video clip pun ade jugak..*

thus, same goes to alQuran. i might not understand much when im reciting it, *except the time when i read the terjemahan.huhu*. but to me, reciting it or listening to someone else's recital, is enough to lift my mood up.. is enough to make my heart more settled. if you dont believe me, try not reciting it for 3 days in a row. Your moods deteriorate, you keep doing many things but you will feel empty and tired inside, your hati somehow seems to be busuk most of the time: cepat marah, tak tolong orang lain, bersangka buruk, mulut tak jaga what-not. *err..this is a combination of my own experience as well as my observations on others*

basically what im saying is: bacalah alQuran everyday. instead of watching the never-ending entertainment that YouTube has to offer you. 

we will never know if today would be our last day of this 

short journey that He gave us.

wouldn't it be sad, if it were to end with things that aren't for Him?

wallahua'lam.

wishful thinking

whenever i walk

i wish it is always to a place that brings me close to Him

instead of places that ends up making me tired and empty, inside and out..

whenever i eat

i wish that i eat accordingly and thankfully

instead of thinking of what other delicacies should i be enjoying myself in the next few hours!!

whenever i am bored

i wish i would straight away perform solat sunat, or recite the Quran

instead of clicking the YouTube channel and watch all the korean dramas

whenever i talk

i wish that nice words would always come out of me, 

words that will make people happy thus making Him happy,

instead of the useless stories of music or movies 

or any shows that i have watched..

whenever i read,

i wish that it will always be a good book or a good tazkirah

instead of novels that slowly yet surely penetrates my mind 

with stupid things like romance what-not..

whenever i talk to a friend

i wish i will always talk to them about us becoming better as a Muslim

instead of talking about the not-quite-trivial things about life..

whenever im writing a post in my blog,

i always wish that i would change a whole lot faster..

because at times, i am scared of the time i'm left with..

at times, i am tired of questioning "what the heck are you doing yan?"

at times, i just wish that going to Heaven is easy..

but i know it's not.

still..

looking at the bright side

He is always Listening

..insyaAllah..

being international

intro: as quoted from a friend of mine, my life seems to be filled with "eh,boleh share dalam blog" moments, but time is something that i don't have. and words, are things that don't come easily. what i share in my blog -most, if not all- are things that really provoked me..how i think, what i feel etc. thus, a new post is definitely not easy, even though i have so much to talk about. : (

my post this time. international night.

so i went to one. organized in RCSI. i went there;

1. simply because a dear friend of mine will be a part of the group performing for Malaysia. 

2. since it is her birthday. i feel the sudden urge to be there with her.

3. because i want to meet friends who i miss so so much.

after maghrib prayers, we head there. ive never been to one, so i didnt exactly think much about how it will be. as we took our seats, a friend whispered to me "yan. actually this whole event ni macam ade issue sikit. ramai orang oppose." ookayy. i look behind, there is a bar with people drinking. i look left and right, guys and girls mixing, exposed skin here and there, glasses of beer in their hands; saw some Malays with their friends. some holding hands, some hugging each other etc.

right. i guess i do understand why people wouldn't want to be there. i think back, if i know this, would i come? most probably no. but i AM here. i cant just run off can i? 

but then, i look beside me. i saw close friends of mine, who i know for a fact are not party-people or those who would go crazy-bersukasuki-tak-ingat-dunia-nak-have-fun in places like this. mind you, some of them are people who handle usrah back in KMB. but they ARE there. and then i saw my friend, who seems very nervous having to perform as a representative for Malaysia. i wonder why THEY are all there, even though they all KNEW that people are opposing those who attend this event.

what happened that night? in short; the whole performance given by the RCSIans was perfect. menyebabkan sy yg baru balik from Malaysia semakin semangat berkobar-kobar. ever heard of the term "bangga menjadi anak Malaysia"? well, their performance did just that. a big round of applause for you guys involved. having to practice for the whole 2 weeks, having to manage your time for studies and card-signing what-not; you guys deserved to win the whole thing. but of course, winning the prize isn't everything. winning the heart of the audience is more like it.

Anyway, back to my point of this whole post. at the end of the whole thing, i think there is nothing wrong with this kind of event. they were just representing a part of our culture. But my friends seems to be scared to admit that they are representing malaysia for that night. kenapa rasa bersalah? you're not doing anything wrong. if you guys don't represent, who else will? sedangkan 3 years back you Malaysians had been winning. i know it IS a trivial issue; showing off Malaysia's culture je pun. But after seeing all the performance from other countries, i think it's an eye-opener for everybody. How our culture is still very much modest, and how creepy other cultures are. specifically the last performance. i never thought there is a culture who promotes s****y dance by their women. *sorry for my bluntness. there's no other word to describe their performace except: slutty. isk. mintak2 tade geng diorang bace nih*

so, dont feel guilty. UNLESS, you want to perform because you want guys to notice you. UNLESS, you want to have fun that night sampai tak ingat dunia. UNLESS, you skipped waktu solat just to practice for the performance. UNLESS, you touch bukan mahram while you were performing. UNLESS, you went there to watch all the sexy dance by other cultures; belly dancing, erotic dancing what not. UNLESS, you went there so that you can be hugging your guy since there will definitely be no naqib or naqibah watching you there. UNLESS, you're doing things that you know is haram. 

but from what i recall, my friends were covering their eyes when the s****y dances start. istighfar is what we kept on reciting whenever we saw girls in sexy clothings; whenever the sexy dances starts off; whenever we were moving in between the drunken guys. 

as for me, i gained a lot that night. 

1. i realized how scary and deviated other cultures are nowadays, and i am thankful with mine, even though it is still not even close enough to be called a 'negara islam'. 

2. i realized that many people think that they can do whatever they want, since there is no one watching them, yet they forgot the angels accompanying them, writing down every single thing that they're doing, and how Allah is watching them instead *this goes out for the fellow malay-muslim that night*. 

3. i realized that no matter how scary the places you go too, and you feel suffocated at times, and worried about your level of iman; as long as you still end up praying for His protection, then you are still safe, because He is still there for you to think of. -no matter how slutty the dances are in front of you.heheh.- 

so my point in this very long post of mine is; i wont be judgmental to these kind of events. as long as niat is betul, all is well. i think. 

but of course, prevention is better too. if you think you cant handle your iman in these kind of events, tak perlu attend. *er.not to say that i can handle mine. balik tu banyak kene solat taubat kot. tercemar kesucian mataku. huhu*

wallahua'lam.

ps: this is just an opinion. i might be wrong. but we all have different ways of thinking. dont we? but lets just pray it is always to be better for Him. insyaAllah. 

pps: really sorry for the repetitive S words. sangat tak elok, i know. *isk*

BIG or small

i've shared this thought with some friends of mine a few weeks back. so now i thought of sharing it with others too. ^,^

nowadays, it seems that many of us are worried of our BIGGEST responsibility as a Muslim, which is dakwah. (hm..many ke? insyaAllah many) thus, we seemed to be occupied doing the best that we could for our Ad-Din, that takes much of our time and energy, that we tend to forget; the smallest and simplest things that we do, Allah appreciate them just as much. Things that might seem easy and- God-forbid-  even seem trivial to us sometimes; like reading Quran, watching any religious videos, berselawat, berzikir, calling up our parents just to make them happy etc; are actually loved by Him. Allah always Knows what we do, be it big or small.

please do read this story : 

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala selesai menciptakan Jibril a.s. dengan bentuk yang cantik, Dan Allah menciptakan pula baginya 600 sayap yang panjang , sayap itu antara timur Dan barat (Ada pendapat lain menyatakan 124, 000 sayap).

Setelah itu Jibril a.s. memandang dirinya sendiri Dan berkata, "Wahai Tuhanku, adakah engkau menciptakan makhluk yang lebih baik daripada aku?"

Lalu Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala berfirman yang bermaksud, "Tidak."

Kemudian Jibril a.s. berdiri serta solat dua rakaat kerana syukur kepada Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, dan tiap-tiap rakaat itu lamanya 20,000 tahun.

Setelah selesai Jibril a.s. solat, maka Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala berfirman yang bermaksud, "Wahai Jibril, kamu telah menyembah aku dengan ibadah yang bersungguh-sungguh, Dan tidak ada seorang pun yang menyembah kepadaku seperti ibadat kamu, akan tetapi di akhir zaman nanti akan datang seorang nabi yang mulia yang paling aku cintai, namanya Muhammad. Dia mempunyai umat yang lemah dan sentiasa berdosa, sekiranya mereka itu mengerjakan solat dua rakaat yang hanya sebentar sahaja, dan mereka dalam keadaan lupa serta serba kurang, fikiran mereka melayang bermacam-macam dan dosa mereka pun besar juga. Maka demi kemuliaannKu Dan ketinggianKu, sesungguhnya solat mereka itu aku lebih sukai dari solatmu itu. Kerana mereka mengerjakan solat atas perintahKu, sedangkan kamu mengerjakan solat bukan atas perintahKu ."

Kemudian Jibriil a.s. berkata, "Ya Tuhanku, apakah yang Engkau hadiahkan kepada mereka sebagai imbalan ibadat mereka?."

Lalu Allah berfirman yang bermaksud, "Ya Jibril, akan Aku berikan syurga Ma'waa sebagai tempat tinggal."

Kemudian Jibril a.s. meminta izin kepada Allah untuk melihat syurga Ma'waa. Setelah Jibrail a.s. mendapat izin dari Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala maka pergilah Jibril a.s. dengan mengembangkan sayapnya dan terbang, setiap dia mengembangkan dua sayapnya dia boleh menempuh jarak perjalanan 3000 tahun, terbanglah malaikat Jibril a.s. selama 300 tahun sehingga ia merasa letih dan lemah dan akhirnya dia turun singgah berteduh di bawah bayangan sebuah pohon dan dia sujud kepada Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala lalu ia berkata dalam sujud, "Ya Tuhanku apakah sudah aku menempuh jarak perjalanan setengahnya, atau sepertiganya, atau seperempatnya?."

Kemudian Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala berfirman yang bermaksud, "Wahai Jibril, kalau kamu dapat terbang selama 3000 tahun dan meskipun aku memberikan kekuatan kepadamu seperti kekuatan yang engkau miliki, lalu kamu terbang seperti yang telah kamu lakukan, nescaya kamu tidak akan sampai kepada sepersepuluh dari beberapa perpuluhan yang telah kuberikan kepada umat Muhammad terhadap imbalan solat dua rakaat yang mereka kerjakan."

this is a teguran for myself as much as to anybody else that might be reading this. no, im not saying that it's enough that we're doing these simple amalan and putting the big ones - dakwah in example - aside. but instead, i want us to remember these small acts and amalan, and how much Allah Loves it all, so that we will not take them for granted later on. insyaAllah. 

in conclusion,

i guess that the size of our amalan doesn't really matter.

as long as it is all for Him.

and always for Him. 

wallahua'lam (",)

change

my 6-year-old self

*who ate cucumber as the only source of vegetables in her diet*

would have never thought nor believe that 

her 20-year-old self would eat this. 

*not to mention preparing it!*

but we're human.

we change.

let's just pray that it's always for the better.

and eating veggies is definitely better. 

kan?

^,^