Lonesome Rides

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

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I would often see myself as one of those lonely ones. Having being left here with a very small group of people, to walk about Dublin (and anywhere in Ireland), doing Medicine. There's only a few of us left (malaysians, that is) to venture into the clinical years, which usually lead us to random hospitals and places. all requiring us to travel alone; in the dark hours of the morning, making our way through the drenching almost-winter rain, all by ourselves. sobs.

It's kind of sad at times. Believe me, I have never been one to be doing things alone back home, before I came to Dublin. Bus rides around town? Nah, Abah won't even let me. He even made Kakak or Abe fetch me from the airport and drop me off to KMB (hehe. i love you guys for that). So, i grew up with this idea in my head that i am one of those dependent type. But alhamdulillah, the things i have to do now have somewhat changed me. Still dependent in some ways (ie tak cukup kasih sayang hehe) but pretty much awesome with everything else. *kofkof* Well, we all just have to be, don't we? :)

So this brings me back to my lonely bus rides. As of late, i have to travel for more than an hour everyday to go to the recent hospital that i am attached to. If i am unlucky enough and missed my buses, it'll drag on for another half an hour. 

I am one of the girls who you'd always see earphone lines coming out of their hijab, listening to whatever music that i am into, almost always lost in thoughts. But a few weeks back i decided to do things a little differently. Vowing to myself to not have any note of music on for all the rides, and even back home. So the choices left are ayatul Quran and talks.

I had a few converted-to-mp3 talks on my ipod, so i decided to download some more. Ones from a new speaker i am currently fond of (thanks to Abah and Lin for introducing him) - Bilal Assad. Which lead me to this awesome whirlwind of a ride. Cause listening to these talks, they can be funny or heart-moving or very serious at times. So at one time i think i might have looked so freakishly serious with all the creases on the forehead; and at one time i'd be smiling ever so broadly on my own, and another time it would be an "onion-burning-my-eyes" moments. Now these all looked worse when you are actually trying to stifle all the reactions. Covering my mouth while i am grinning, and looking up every so often to keep the tears in. pretty much the description of a 'weirdo in the bus'.

Alhamdulillah, i enjoyed it thoroughly. It's definitely a new experience for me, as i have never done this wholeheartedly before. The talks that I listened to? Well, in truth sometimes they are discussing things that we all already knew of, occasionally there are new things in them too. The things that moved me, are perhaps the things that have moved me before. Listening back to stories of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, or the importance of Ramadhan, or the debate between Allah and Iblis upon creating Adam A.S; they are not things that we don't already know of. But somehow, they have touched the heart again, perhaps in the same spot, or perhaps even differently. So it goes to show how important it is for us to keep the reminders coming back to us again and again, even if it is for the hundredth time. 

Perhaps we wondered why those kids would always have their weekly seating (bulatan gumbira, usrah, halaqah)? What drives them to attend these boring meetings or talks? But I think we all knew the answer to that already, right? 

it's just because they are the food for our souls.

because for the constant sins that we commit everyday, little ones and big ones, with or without us realizing it; they should all be washed away with constant reminders of Allah, in remembrance of Allah.

Ibn Mas’ud said:

"…The slave continues to lie and a black spot grows in his heart until all his heart becomes black. Then he is written, in Allah's sight, among the liars." 

(Al-Albani)

So in the end I came to a realization that these lonely bus rides have always been a blessing in disguise. It took me a while to make me turn them into one, though (hampeh punya pasal). And there is nothing more I can say other than, Alhamdulillah; all praises go back to Allah. thank You for giving me the chance.

so here's to hoping you'll have your own takes of lonely awesome rides too peeps! 

and just another verse of the day to push us a lil' bit.

أَفَلَمۡ يَسِيرُواْ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ فَتَكُونَ لَهُمۡ قُلُوبٌ۬ يَعۡقِلُونَ بِہَآ أَوۡ ءَاذَانٌ۬ يَسۡمَعُونَ بِہَا‌ۖ فَإِنَّہَا لَا تَعۡمَى ٱلۡأَبۡصَـٰرُ وَلَـٰكِن تَعۡمَى ٱلۡقُلُوبُ ٱلَّتِى فِى ٱلصُّدُورِ

"maka apakah mereka tidak berjalan di muka bumi, lalu mereka mempunyai hati yang dengan itu mereka dapat memahami atau mempunyai telinga yang dengan itu mereka dapat mendengar? Karena sesungguhnya bukanlah mata itu yang buta, tetapi yang buta, ialah hati yang di dalam dada."

[22:46]

Salam Jumaah.

Don't forget to recite Kahfi.