بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
"Kalau tak yakin Allah ada nak ajar something,
"Kalau tak yakin Allah ada nak ajar something,
Aku tak rasa aku mampu face benda (ujian) ni."
[if i don't have faith that Allah has bigger plans for me,
I don't think I can even face this (test)]
A dear friend of mine said this to me, once.
We were attached to the Neurology team a few weeks back, Paediatrics Neurology that is. All in all, it was a totally awesome rotation I must say, seeing all the amazing weird things in the wards. But like always, the awesomeness in our part contradicts with whatever the patients and the families are facing. Cause when we are enjoying the mysteries behind the illnesses, they are the ones who have to face it all, living day in and day out with these mysterious and complicated illnesses.
And what is more heart-wrenching is that diagnosing a child or little babies with diseases also meant that they will have a whole future of uncertainties in front of them. Albeit not having any myself just yet, but I know enough that the lives of our children are the ones that meant so much more than ours. When we would literally risk our life for the sake of our children. (Of course, we're putting aside all the mental ones out there who hit or even kill their children for God-knows-why.)
We had our last wardround that week; and started off at the imaging department. And the radiologist was describing a brain scan of a little baby, few months old. Basically he had subtle changes here and there, which also meant that he would have problems in each area of the brain that is affected; movements, sensations, cognition, memories; none will be spared. Finally we had our rounds and reached a bed with a very plump, cute, doll-like baby boy. And the consultant started explaining whatever that we have discussed earlier on, bits by bits. And i was watching the mother and how she was holding the baby the whole time. (Yes, i must say that this is one of those bad communication skills; breaking a bad news via ward rounds huhu)
The consultant went to explain the details of the whole brain scan, to try to make the mother understand that basically the brain is underdeveloped. The mom was holding the baby so tightly as he was sleeping in her arms, stroking his arms, clutching him tighter as the reality of the whole thing starts to sink in. We understood whatever the consultant was explaining to her, as she did simplified the whole thing as much as she could, but all the mother can ask at the end of it all was;
"So what would happen to him? Can you fix this?"
And the tears flow.
The rest of the team backed out and left the consultant alone to consult her with another doctor. I stood back with my teammates. So here is the reality. The interesting scan we found in the room back then meant a whole different story for the one owning it. Their plans for the son's future destroyed in an instance. And they don't even know where to start. Allahu Allah.
And these kinds of things pricked my conscience the most. Having to see people face this huge, huge test; but yet not being able to have faith in Allah the All-mighty. Not being able to say that;
"it's okay, Allah is watching over us."
"It's okay, Allah has a bigger plan."
"It's okay, Allah will guide us."
It always amazes me; how can these people with no faith are able to face all these ordeals, way better than us (the Muslims)? It's rather apparent isn't it, when Muslims don't even have patience when they are queuing in lines at the airport, let alone in facing these kinds of tests. We'd see Muslims shrieking and shouting with agonies when something bad happened to them (exceptions to the whole killings in egypt etc) and yet we see the Japanese, who mostly don't have much faith in religion, calmly saying "it will be alright" despite having everything they have, washed away in the tsunami few years back (watch their documentary, you'd be amazed by their portrayal of sabr.)
So i guess to be able to have that faith, that Allah is there for us, with any tests that He gave us, is definitely something we should be thankful for. But this only applies to those who believe. Only His believers will be calm enough to face whatever 'tsunami' that's coming our way, big or small. Only His believers would be able to feel that sense of tranquility deep down; despite the pain and the emotions and the stress that comes with it. Mind you, we are only mere humans. We'd cry, we'd be depressed; but believers would always have that strength in the end, knowing that Allah is there to guide us through it all.
The bigger the test, the stronger we need to believe that Allah knows better.
And that makes all the difference. So peeps, be strong!
Allah is there. InsyaAllah.
وَلَقَدۡ خَلَقۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ وَنَعۡلَمُ مَا تُوَسۡوِسُ بِهِۦ نَفۡسُهُ ۥۖ وَنَحۡنُ أَقۡرَبُ إِلَيۡهِ مِنۡ حَبۡلِ ٱلۡوَرِيدِ
"Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia dan mengetahui apa yang dibisikkan oleh hatinya, dan Kami lebih dekat kepadanya daripada urat lehernya"