it's those time again. when i just have to stop reading for a while and blog. nothing serious. (too serious posts will consume 1-2 hours of my precious time)
anyways. today me and 5 other cool-friends-who-opted-to-take-geology-for-our-electives went for our final exam. while everybody else is cramming for our oncology paper tomorrow morning! (which coincidently have the highest percentage of failing students, purely from my observation of the last batch). the panic was overwhelming. it started yesterday actually, i cant even focus on Disability's paper, hence running out of the exam hall just to get back home. *mintak jauh if it actually jeopardizes that particular paper*
back to my point for today, this cramming sessions for this year's finals, seems to put me in 'that' spot again. where the question of 'betul ke ambik medic ni? boleh ke jadi doctor ni? serious boleh survive ke ni? weh ape nak jadi ni? ade chance tak jadi cikgu tadika? kenapa tak ambik TESL eh? i liked english too. er, kalau tarik diri abah mama bagi balik tak?" etc..etc..
and ends up concluding: "AHH..i hate medicine."
but truth is.
i love it.
too much maybe.
it's not that i hate medicine,
because it's a subject that makes it hard for me
to see As in my result slip.
but i love medicine too much,
that i hate myself for NOT getting those As.
nevertheless, i am happy enough with all the efforts i made. and i do wish i can give more. till Allah is satisfied enough to give me those As (pleasseeeeeeeee). but most importantly, all i wanna be is a good doctor. because to me, being a doctor is one of those very special professions that can make you constantly hoping that Allah is Guiding you every step of the way. because you have some other people's lives INDIRECTLY in your hands.
yang nak jadi doctor yg sgt pandai biidznillah, insyaAllah. :)