i am envious. i am sad.
envious seeing those who dare to take that leap of faith. and do what we all need to do. the courage, to put away all things aside. and start new. i am envious of them.
and sad. of seeing this very slow pace of mine. sometimes wondering what else am i waiting for. if i could list down the things i wanna do there are so many. yet here i am; still in this snail-pace of mine. what am i waiting for? when all the answers are wide-spread in front of me?
perhaps waiting for that leap of faith?
but it wont come by itself.
it starts from me.
so what are you doing yan?
the thing that's holding you back is just yourself.
make doa for me. and everyone out there too.
"I am amazed concerning the Hellfire -
how does one who could flee from it sleep?
And I am amazed concerning the Jannah -
how does the one who desires it sleep?
For by Allah! If you neither desire Paradise, nor fear the Hellfire,
then you are destroyed and grievous will be your sorrow,
interminable your sadness and without limit your tears;
you will be amongst wretched, the punished ones.
So if you claim that you are amongst those who seek refuge from the Fire and desire Paradise,
then strive for that which you seek and
do not be misled by your worldly desires."
-quoted: a pious slave-
someone who doesnt want to be just a 'claimer'.