not promising myself that i'll be writing often. but i felt the need to write today. and the time and mood is just right for it. forgive me for the jumbled entry.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
a good old friend of mine texted me a few days back. his sister had done a biopsy, the doctors are suspecting cancer. fast forward to two days later, it's stage 2 breast cancer, requiring her to undergo mastectomy on one side, with lump removal on the other, and followed by sessions of chemotherapy afterwards. they've just been diagnosed today, and decisions were made only a few hours after. they agreed for the operation, which will take place tomorrow.
in a week's time, someone's life just changed so rapidly. almost surreal if you asked me. i can never even imagine how it feels like. even writing this breaks my heart. your heart races as the doctor asked your permission to proceed with a biopsy, because those lumps might be cancerous. and two days later you were told that it's true. and you have to make the decision almost there and then. to proceed with a big operation and with weeks of further treatments. you look at your husband, your child, your parents, your family members. everyone is trying to be strong. you are trying to be strong. and you said yes. and you ended your week this time, with a life-changing operation.
in a week's time for others, life might just be as boring or as hectic as it has always been. nothing changes.waking up to the same alarm tune. the same preparation for work. the hustles of papers at work. spending time at lunch with your buddies. continuing work while waiting for the time to punch out. thrills of coming home to your loved ones cause you misses them so much even it's just for a day. soon it's nightfall and it's time for your rest. monday soon becomes friday. and weekends will pass by in a jiffy. and the routine starts all over again. nothing more nothing less. same old, same old.
it's almost heart wrenching. the difference between one's life to another. but yet that's the reality. that life, evidently is as hard as it can be for one, and differently for the other. it may seem unfair. but everyone is entitled to their own journeys, their own tests.
knowing that Allah itu Maha Adil.
and He Plans best.
perhaps i've endulged myself too much into social networks, that i've gotten too used to watching people being happy all the time. good times with spouses, children and families. happy tummies filled with good food. people sharing beautiful things they bought. vacations. parties. events. that i forgot, to look into the eyes of those who are being tested in life.
because these people, they are nowhere near social networks like the rest of us are. but they are the ones that i look at day to day at work, but failed to see behind their eyes. how difficult it is for them to come to the clinic every so often. how long have they endured the pain in their tummy because they can't even afford a strip of painkillers. how busy they are everyday to put food on the table that medicine is not something that they could remember taking at all. how stressful it is for them to decide for hospital admission, because they'd have three more children at home with no one to look after them. and these are all just tips of the iceberg.
may Allah forgives you and me.
for how much we have forgotten all this while.
for how much we've been swept away by Dunya, all this while.
to anyone who comes across this, send some prayers for my friend's sister who'll be undergoing surgery tomorrow. and prayers to all Muslims out there who are facing ordeals in life. May Allah eases their journeys through and through. Ameen.
"Allah is the Best Listener.
We don't need to shout, nor cry out loud.
because He Hears even the very silent prayer,
of a sincere heart."