mind rant #1

i wish to not rant much about my life in here; because i dont think it benefits much. but here comes one. and mind you, this will be a very random rant. sigh~ sorry. it has become a therapy for me lately. to do some blogging. because it gets this brain of mine going. perhaps leaving some of that congested feeling behind. 

im back from my holiday. went to Belgium for 5 days. had one aim there, to pray as much as i can. musafir kan doa dia special sikit. so i hoped for it, and prayed much for it. ranging from anything to almost everything. a bit thankful that we had a longer night-time now that it is still winter. which means that we have to head back to the hotel a little bit early. and usually when you're back, you're drained out. walaupun takde lah jalan jauh sangat. so that leaves the hotel room all quite and perfect for that 'slow-talk' with Him.

and after those days, here i am again. back in my room in Dublin. nothing has changed much. same old, same old. checked some facebook news. seems like a lot has happened. ps: Anwar Ibrahim's story was on the Belgium's news by the way. checked my emails.  which leaves this heart of mine all empty again. i don't know why, but lately, it seems harder for me to define what happiness is all about. i smiled, but my insides are not. i laughed, but my heart is tired. 

getting old? maybe. homesick? very much. in need of Him? more than ever. 

checked kakak's blog. rindu Boolat who's growing too fast. beautifully i may add. *wink* called Abah+Mama. will call again tomorrow. and will text Abe later. amazing isn't it, how Allah makes them all comforting to us? and those close friends, who are far away, you rarely talk to them, let alone see them. but they are the ones who comforts you the most. i find it amazing, when Allah put the love at all the right places.

and then i read some articles from the mind-opener blogs from the right corner. and i think since i'm in those age,  any Chenta posts would grab my attention first. *cough cough* yes, typical typical. 

Apakah Terlarang Bercinta Sebelum Berkahwin? click.

nah. tajuk tak boleh best lagi ke? i find it very comforting though. in my life, i call this term of 'bercinta sebelum berkahwin' as crushes. when you like someone, and you pray so much that he will propose to you or something. that's how i define it. but sometimes, even crushes can be dangerous. when you sometimes wish for it too much, and forgetting the concept of takdir Allah. so i think it should be done moderately. pray for them as you wish, because He Hears you, but at the same time, leave it to Him to decide what's (or in this case who is) best for you. meaning that if your crush is not the One, then pray that He closes that heart of yours. yelah, over-crushing can get you crushed. so let Him Protect that heart of yours. 

but talking to Abah + Mama about crushes somehow ended up differently. they will ask for names, asal mana, universiti mana yadda-yadda. when i ask why, they say: "ibubapa bertanggung jawab untuk mencari pasangan untuk anak perempuan." haha. very funny. but i know all they did was making me feel better :) *i love them with all my heart.* 

anyways... reading the post, im guessing that bercinta sebelum kahwin is also those period of 'bertunang'. when you're trying to get to know someone. but since im nowhere near that category, let us all angguk-angguk faham with all the facts given, alright? ookay.

tengok. bab cinta sikit terus merapu panjang. anyways, a friend of mine is getting married soon alhamdulillah. (sebenarnya ada a few lagi.aaaaa~~~) she told me so much about the trials in pertunangan. but she went through it fairly well, alhamdulillah. only a month left, and all that trials will pass insyaAllah. agh. jealous the zealous by the way *i dont know if this word exist*. but here are my reasons of being jealous. i think this post pretty much sums up what i feel. huhu~~ click here. kudos to the one who wrote it. couldn't have explained it any better.

hmm, what else. oh, less than a week left before the new term starts. scary! and this time, all those malaysian classmates of mine won't be there. only the 12 of us will be left behind in my batch. the so called full-course student. we have different classes next term. soon in March, those who are doing twinning programmes will all head back home for PMC; im dreading those days. but it will definitely be something new too. when it's not all about going to classes and lecture notes. it's the 2nd half of medicine, when you're exposed to new things. aghh this will definitely be scary. may Allah ease this. did i mention that i really, realllllyy like, totally realllyy want to be a doctor?huhu~

that's about it. praying that Allah grant my prayers. and the special prayers *cough cough*. and i hope He Grants yours too :) salam peeps. 

ps: jangan lupa baca Quran! everyday okay? kalau tak sila slap your own face. :P

pps: another therapy of mine. blogging, and looking up for random beautiful pictures :)



so, all is actually well. 
stop and say:


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