11th may: i got a message in my facebook. someone with the name of Pengumpul ex-Islahian or something. He/she mentioned about wanting to have a reunion and intending to melawat cikgu Fatmah. i was curious. "melawat? cikgu sakit ke?" but it slipped my mind. i was having my finals at that time, and right after that i was busy. i didn't actually find a time to find out what actually happened to cikgu. [something that ive been regretting ever since..]
24th may: after a very hectic 2 weeks, i was finally in london. so i took a quick peek in my facebook again. and a picture made my heart dropped. i read all the comments, but didnt register much of them. seeing the sight of cikgu fatmah lying in the hospital bed makes me feel empty inside. i couldn't quite explain to my friends how i felt; they didn't know who she was. And there i was, in london, about to start my so-called travel with my fellow friends. i felt a bit helpless that night. i wish so bad that i was back home, cuz deep inside i wanted to see her. i made a promise to myself that im going to visit her right when im back home.
28th may: i reached Leeds. it was a tiring trip. decided to check my facebook again. and this time, i read a news that seems to dig a big hole in my heart.
"Salam..cikgu fatmah telah kembali ke rahmatullah pada jam 1.50 pagi tadi..semoga roh beliau dicucuri rahmat..al-Fatihah"
This time, Ainol, my schoolmate ever since islah was here. i told her the news and broke down in front of her. teachers; i've realized how much they actually mean to me now that I've lost one. i wish all my teachers, from Islah, Naim, PC to KMB would know how much they mean to me. as for Cikgu Fatmah, the last time i met her was only a few years back. she was the same bubbly exciting teacher like she has always been when i was in standard 6. now, not being able to meet her for the last time, breaks my heart.
i called abah just now and he told me he went to the funeral with my little sister. [arwah cikgu Fatmah also taught lin] and abah told me how Lin was that day. She went only with abah. So she ended up going into the house alone. none of her friends were there i guess. and she recited surah Yassin with the teachers. Abah said that lin was sad, since she have been wanting to go to the hospital to visit arwah Cikgu, but abah was a bit busy. I broke down in the phone, as abah told me what Lin said in the car on the way back from arwah cikgu Fatmah's house:
"now i know how it feels like to lose someone you love"
As for Cikgu Fatmah, i will remember her all my life. and so does all the teachers that i have been privileged enough to meet. I wish i could've gone back in time and meet her again, show her my gratitude, for all the ilmu and support that she had given me when i was a kid. make her proud as a teacher. show her that her student is insyaAllah doing fairly well in life; cuz i know that is what a teacher hopes for in a student. and i really want her to know that she's one of the main pillars that built me and my fellow friends, ending up where we are today.
but all that is left for me to do now is pray for you.
From Him we came, and to Him we return.
Semoga roh cikgu dicucuri rahmat.
I pray that we'll meet again in Jannah.