Hoy Kawan!

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

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we had our combined usrah with fellow Imdadullah again last week. and by the end of it, a typical topic was chosen for the tazkirah, one that we hear every so often on a day-to-day basis: Ukhwah. funny to think that a few years back, i was once those who have never heard of the word, let alone understand it. and for that, let's say Alhamdulillah. 

so a few things came to mind upon listening to the tazkirah (reminders) by Cik Sharifah Acha *kofkof*. :)

the need to be reminded

as i've said before, whenever we've become too accustomed to something, we'd always have the tendency to lose our understanding of it in the first place. and only rarely would we sit down and think deeply and carefully for the words that we utter daily; 

apa itu ukhwah?

rasa tak ukhwah?

kenapa berukhwah?

dengan siapa kita berukhwah?

those things that brings the sweetness out of ukhwah is often forgotten. and only when we are reminded of it again, that we finally think a little deeper to fully appreciate all those ukhwah we have built with the people around us. and most importantly, to say Alhamdulillah for the chances we have to built them.

Ukhwah atau Friendship?

not to worry people, not knowing what ukhwah is doesn't mean that all those relationships or friendships we have are all for nothing. ukhwah means persaudaraan kerana Allah. and saying that means whatever you do in that relationship, you do it for Allah, because of Allah. and how do we do it? well, by doing anything that Allah loves really. it can be as simple as carving a sweet smile on your face, or as huge as being with them on their way to say their first syahadah! and all those other things like: reminding each other not to be lagho, to recite Quran, to do good deeds, avoiding bad ones and the list goes on. (and yes, listing them is far off easier than actually doing them. =_='')

so truthfully, many of us have actually built ukhwah without even realizing it. yeay! :)

Distortion

and sadly, there will always be some people who somewhat manipulate what ukhwah is just because they don't understand it wholly. one type who says that ukhwah is specific to certain groups of people: geng stok masjid, stok pakai tudung labuh, stok tabligh, stok usrah, stok budak overseas yang tiba-tiba balik pakai tutup aurat, stok ustaz ustazah etc.

and another type who actually feels that ukhwah is exclusively for them; "huh selagi depa tak masuk bulatan gembira, tak pergi konferens riang, tak baca mathurat, jangan gatai nak guna perkataan ukhwah depan cheq na~~~". in which i think these kind of things happened mostly due to misconceptions because we haven't really truly understand what ukhwah is in the first place. 

********

and so from my humble understanding, ukhwah is just relationships made on the basis of pleasing Allah, that makes everyone in it closer to Allah, by doing whatever that He Loves. and the more we understand what it is, insyaAllah the deeper the ukhwah will be. and let us all pray that it would be one of the many ways that will lead us to Jannah insyaAllah. :)

oleh itu,

hoy Kawan!

yosh kita berUkhwah!

“Sesiapa yang Allah ingin kurniakan kebaikan kepadanya 

nescaya Allah mengurniakan kepadanya seorang teman setia yang soleh, 

jika sekiranya dia terlupa (lalai) dia menolong memberi peringatan 

dan apabila (temannya itu) memperingatkannya ia akan menolongnya”.

[hadith]

وَأَلَّفَ بَيۡنَ قُلُوبِہِمۡ‌ۚ لَوۡ أَنفَقۡتَ مَا فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ جَمِيعً۬ا مَّآ أَلَّفۡتَ بَيۡنَ قُلُوبِهِمۡ

 وَلَـٰڪِنَّ ٱللَّهَ أَلَّفَ بَيۡنَہُمۡ‌ۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ۬

“Dan Dialah yang menyatukan di antara hati mereka (yang beriman). 

Kalaulah engkau belanjakan segala (harta benda) yang ada di bumi, 

nescaya engkau tidak dapat juga menyatu padukan di antara hati-hati mereka, 

akan tetapi Allah telah menyatupadukan di antara (hati) mereka. 

Sesungguhnya Ia Maha Kuasa lagi Maha Bijaksana”

[8:63]

mind rant #15: Hakikat

sedih. hearing a friend who lost his mother.

jealous. with the Akh who left the world but not the hearts.

happy. listening to voices of loved ones.

nervous. big finals are coming soon.

pelik. reading about politics back home.

pening. reading about humans, lives and the world.

******

and frustration.

upon looking down into my own heart.

kosongkah?

keraskah?

***

what am i doing right now?

what are you doing right now?

what are we all doing right now?

hakikatnya,

it's only a Borrowed Life.

hakikatnya,

kita semua perlukan Allah.

hakikatnya,
carilah Allah.

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AllahuAllah.

astaghfirullah.

''Apabila hambaKu bertanya tentang Aku 

katakan (wahai Muhammad) 

bahawa Aku dekat 

dan Aku menyampaikan doa orang yang meminta kepada Ku.''

[2:186]

:')

i miss writing.

bad decisions. 

we all need to make them. 

that's the only way we learn.

i wish i could write. but good writings comes from dada yang lapang. apparently mine is a little bit messy these days. mohon doa, from anyone who's still sweet enough to drop by into this hidey hole. :)

Assalamualaikum.

Dearest Umar

My first nephew was born today.

Umar Khalif bin Afnan.

16 Feb 2013

I was not around when he came beautifully into our lives. but i'm sure Kak Ita had underwent the most exhilarating experience of her life when she gave birth to Umar. When i received the text from Abe that evening, in the middle of Harry Fear's talk, telling that Kak Ita was now in the hospital; all i could do was pray that Allah will keep both Kak Ita and baby Umar safe till the very end. Alhamdulillah, Allah did just that. :')

when Abe texted our family's whatsapp group, i was the only one who read it since it was in the middle of the night back in Malaysia, and it was 7 p.m for me. reading it, i knew for a fact how scared and excited he was. listening to him all those time since Summer and the Winter holidays, i knew how much both Abe and Kak Ita were so excited with baby-bump-Umar in their lives. Abe and Kak Ita had their own cute way of expressing it. Baby Umar would kick Kak Ita's tummy so much when he was in there, and Abe would put a box on the tummy, just to see it fall off when Umar kick it from inside. Adorable. Very adorable. :)

And today Alhamdulillah,

Umar is out to greet his parents with Allah's Will.

i can only imagine the huge eyes and the very slow movements babies make.

it's adorable in every angle that you just ended up staring at them in the creepiest way.

heheh. and i talk from experience okay.

and as much as i wish i'm there just like i was there during Airaa's first few days, *click*

i guess i'm just gonna have to wait patiently for Summer.

and when i'm back home i'm gonna be the crazy old Aunty Chik again,

kissing Airaa, Umar and insyaAllah another cutie pie; to my heart's content!

mwahahaha (evil laugh)

*******

فَبِأَىِّ ءَالَآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?

[Ar-Rahman]

Thank You ya Rabb,

for shining yet another light into our lives.

And thank You is never enough, with these kinds of blessings that Allah gave us.

the only way to prove that we are thankful enough

is to be more dutiful in carrying out our responsibilities as His Hamba,

insyaAllah.

and to you dearest baby Umar,

i pray that you will grow up to be a handsome soleh muslim.

and knowing  that you will grow up with;

a very warm-hearted daddy and a beautiful sweet mummy by your side;

i know that you'll be able to be just that;

mukmin yang soleh.

Aamiin.

Aamiin.

ya Rabb al-A'lamin.

yours truly;

Aunty Chik 

ps: too much love to give away. saya pening lalat.

Airaa and Umar i love youuuu T____T

pps: Dad's text this morning:
"Kak Ita selamat lahirkan baby boy at 1p.m. Abe got teary."

comel. :')

Love you much Abe and Kak Ita and baby Umar!

and never forgetting my first Boolat, Airaa!

mind rant #14: Allah's Gift

add some of this, and a little of that;

and we have a good shake of Life.

******

Takut

i dreaded the things that would happened this week. knowing i have to face all those scary things. i was emotionally and mentally challenged. it had been agonizing waiting for the days to come. but i remembered thinking back then, no matter how i dreaded those moments, they will all come to pass eventually. it's always Allah's Plans. to put us in place. to feel those moments. to make us realize that;

apa sangat yang nak ditakutkan?

urusan dengan manusia,

urusan dengan Dunia.

Allah kan ada. :)

*******

Effort and Reward

no matter how many times one says that: 

"Semua milik Allah.
Rezeki, Nikmat, Ilmu, Bahagia, Tenang.
 Hak Allah untuk bagi, Hak Allah untuk tak bagi."

it takes real experiences for you to realize this. 

saying it over and over again won't be enough.

chosen by Him to be in Medicine, i find that the years gone by has taught me just this. that we all make the same mistakes that we make in our UPSR years. in our PMR years. in our SPM years. in our IB years. 

thinking, that we have aced those crazy exams, because of our hard work. we aced those clinical exams, because we practiced like hell on everyone. Allah blessed us with all those grades, accordingly to what we did. "sebab Allah kan Maha Adil." :)

but i think we are still wrong. for all those effort we make, i have no doubt that Allah will award us accordingly (and even more so, since Allah adalah Maha Pemurah). but most of the time, Allah repay those efforts with things that we often take for granted; being able to eat that day, or nikmat sihat, or that we didn't fall off our bike, or that we were able to talk to our loved ones etc. and though we would definitely hope to have exactly what we worked hard for, Allah will always give us what we need first. and what we need, albeit not the things that we want; is often the things that last longer in life.

it's often hard to appreciate that He is giving what we need, when we were denied of what we want. and thus a constant reminder is always needed: that He always, always Knows Better, and we know not. 

a reminder to myself, as always. :)

**********

Tua

I was flipping through the patient's clinical notes on my own; hunched down reading those ugly hand-writings, in the middle of the very crowded nurse station; with interns on the phone, SHOs vigorously clicking on the mouse looking for her patient's CT, a Registrar discussing some plans with two more interns. and nurses scattered everywhere doing almost everything. and i continued to disregard the whole scene behind my back, reading the notes in front of me;

....A 90 year old lady admitted to the A&E with.......

...from NH (nursing home)...

....NOK (Next of kin) is her son....

flipped some more pages.

..has lived in the nursing home for 24 years...
(wait, what? 24 years??)

...husband died 24 years ago....

i stopped. it's pretty obvious isn't it? so she's this old lady who has lived in a nursing home for 24 years, right after the husband died. where did the son go? wallahua'lam.

civilized nation. 

developed country. 

but a culture who does not take responsibilities for their own parents.
it's just, sad.

******

Grandma

i was in the opthalmology clinic. when this very tiny frail grandmother came alone. walking ever so slowly, looking very scared and confused. she was so vulnerable i feel like i want to hug her so much. her concerns broke my heart, knowing how fragile she is. she was so scared that her vision is blurry (they were dilated for the exams), she was scared of the big machine in front of her (the slit-lamp), she was even scared upon being told that she had 'freckles in her eyes'.

i find myself desperately praying that Allah opens her heart (i find it's always the most desperate thing to do here, seeing them facing so many hardships so strongly, yet without any belief in a higher power.)

Doctor:     No, dont worry. 

                  Your vision is blurred because of the eye-drops. 

                  They will get better in 4-6 hours okay? 

                  Who's coming home with you? 

                  Will anyone come and pick you up?

Grandma: Yes. the Taxi.

breaks. my. heart.

*******

words of wisdom this week

"dreaded things. they will always be a thing in the past eventually."

"Allah doesn't choose you because you're weaker than others,

He Chooses you because He Knows that you are stronger than others."

"Allah Knows what we want,

Allah Gives what we need."

"Bila Allah rindukan hamba Dia,

Allah akan turunkan ujian."

:)

Hidup;
memang menarik.
cause it's Allah's Gift.

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Make It Simple

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

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Making things simple: is something that i find to be both good and bad, interestingly. 

why is it good? undeniably we're human beings who like to over-think of things that we ended up being crazy all by ourselves. mostly, out of fear. creating all the different things that could-go-wrong in our lives. even the other day, a guy was sharing the paranoia that we all have during exams. in his case, he kept thinking that his watch will just be dead at the exact time we're taking the pulse rate in the OSCE station. yup, over-thinking. or when we're shivering head to toe for a week knowing that we will be with the scariest consultant in the planet, only to be proven dead wrong cause he was okay the whole time. yup, over-thinking. make it simple. don't overthink.

****

and why is it bad? somehow, i think it's because of this attitude, to "make it simple", that we often find ourselves unknowingly crossing the line between what is right and what is not. what is halal and what is haram. and especially, in those grey areas (syubhah). 

because of wanting to make things simple, we dont want to know why some things are better be left alone. we just don't want to go into all those tiny details of what Islam has in store. 

aku solat. 

aku pakai sopan.

aku tak gedik.

aku tak kacau hidup orang.

aku makan makanan halal.

aku tak buat jahat

aku tak curi barang

aku tak tipu orang

aku have fun sikit-sikit 

aku tak pergi bar pun

simple does it. why do we have to hassle ourselves with the never-ending list of those tiny intricate details? solat, baca surah, rukuk, sujud, salam, settle. isn't it enough? why do we have to read into those things like, cara bacaan solat betul ke tak? salam tu wajib tak? sapu muka okay tak? come on la people. why make a big fuss about all the little things? Allah kan Maha Penyayang. we've prayed our 5 times per day. He surely accepts them right? janji kita ikhlas. *smile*.

and please let's not go into the topic of aurah/aurat. fine we accept that hijab is a must. so we cover our hair. then we hear this talk about having to lower it down a little bit more, so we did that. and then we were told to wear loose cloth and baggy stuff. so okay, we do that, with a little bit of style. and now they're complaining about our choice of colours that we pick. what's wrong with our hijab styles? why can't we wear neon colours or hot pink? we still have our hijab on, and they're still loose clothes? and so we became so annoyed with this and said; "come on la, make things simple will you?" *senyum*

******

but here's the thing, islam is a way of life. a life that requires you to change bit by bit, to reach that perfection of akhlaq. for which in my humble opinion, will never really end, because the perfection of akhlaq is the akhlaq of our beloved Prophet S.A.W.

and so i think if we know what we're doing, what we are changing for and who is it for, we will never really complain of all the hassle that comes along, because it's the essence of change itself; the change for the better. even if we know that we will never reach that perfection of akhlaq, we still strive for it, so that at least we will die trying. and truth is, that's all what Allah wants from His hamba. our effort to run towards Allah. 

and so i guess things will never really be simple. the more we know, the more we need to change, and the more complicated things will be. c'est la vie. heck, even those scholars back then reminded us of this:

"The more i learn, the more i learn how little i know."

Socrates

"Wisest is he who knows what he does not know."

Plato

and i believe that Taqwa defies this motto of "making it simple". because Taqwa teaches us to be ever so careful, in whatever that we do. And here's a rather self-explanatory excerpt of what Taqwa is:

"Apa itu taqwa?" tanya Umar al-Khattab kepada Ubai bin Ka'ab Radhiyallahu 'anhuma.

"Pernah kamu susuri jalan yang penuh duri?" balas Ubai dengan suatu pertanyaan yang menduga.

"Pernah saja," jawab Umar.

"Apa yang kamu lakukan?" pintas Ubai.

"Aku angkat sedikit pakaianku, dan melangkah dengan hati-hati," jawab Umar lagi.

"Itulah taqwa!" simpul Ubai bin Ka'ab terhadap soalan Umar al-Khattab tentang taqwa.

Ya, taqwa itu melaksanakan segala perkara dengan penuh berhati-hati dan teliti, 

sentiasa mengawasi dan memelihara hukum Allah.

*******

and knowing that Taqwa is one of the key to Jannah, 

i think it's simple enough to understand that we should work hard to attain it, setuju? 

life is never simple.

if it is, then we'd already be in Jannah.

and we all know that needs a looot of work.

"Dan bersegeralah kamu kepada ampunan dari Tuhanmu dan kepada syurga yang luasnya seluas langit dan bumi yang disediakan untuk oranq-orang yang bertaqwa." 

[3: 133]

"Sesungguhnya bagi orang-orang yang bertaqwa (disediakan) syurga-syurga yang penuh kenikmatan di sisi Tuhan-Nya." 

[68: 34]

wallahua'lam.

*ohsedihpulakbacatheseverses*

may Allah Forgives.:(

Stories

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

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i scrolled the facebook newsfeed again this morning. just to get some updates of whatever that is happening. the things happening back home. the things media are lying about. (haih) the typical bouts of fitnah here and there. Syrian relief for the heavy winter attacking them. (kesiannya sejuk. huhu). and then i found this article.

Selamat Jalan Isteriku

*click*

it was quite a long one. telling a story about a beautiful muslimah. by the end of it, i promise you that you will get choked up with emotions and tears. T__T

*******

over the years i have come across articles or stories about some random people that i have never heard of before. and yet with one post/story/article, i was able to indulge myself in the life-story of a muslim/muslimah. and yet it amazingly is able to take you into an overwhelming ride of emotions. you know, just like when you read a good book, or watch a good movie. you are taken away for a moment, into their world.

and there is always one thing special about these kinds of stories. the kinds of stories that make you raise both hands in the end, to make Du'a for them; for those people in the stories. 

padahal tak kenal pun. 

padahal tak pernah jumpa pun.

and that, to me, is what proves that these are special stories. special people. when their lives touched the hearts of others, by His Will. because Allah wants to make them special, that even some random people wants to make doa for them. random people like us. 

and yes, how i wish, that we all are able to live a blessed life;

hidup yang mulia

hidup yang diredhai

just like them.

T__T

قُلِ ٱللَّهُمَّ مَـٰلِكَ ٱلۡمُلۡكِ تُؤۡتِى ٱلۡمُلۡكَ مَن تَشَآءُ وَتَنزِعُ ٱلۡمُلۡكَ مِمَّن تَشَآءُ 

وَتُعِزُّ مَن تَشَآءُ وَتُذِلُّ مَن تَشَآءُ‌ۖ بِيَدِكَ ٱلۡخَيۡرُ‌ۖ إِنَّكَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ قَدِيرٌ۬

Katakanlah: "Wahai Tuhan Yang mempunyai kerajaan, Engkau berikan kerajaan kepada orang yang Engkau kehendaki dan Engkau cabut kerajaan dari orang yang Engkau kehendaki. Engkau muliakan orang yang Engkau kehendaki dan Engkau hinakan orang yang Engkau kehendaki. Di tangan Engkaulah segala kebajikan. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Kuasa atas segala sesuatu.

[3:26]