mind rant #26: A Jittery Start

This will pretty much be my last post before i am officially a working doctor. And perhaps it might take a long time before i could write the next one. All the feelings are there: nervous, excited, disbelief. We're pretty much at the very beginning of a new chapter in our lives that will change everything that we thought we were. Fuh. Dramatic betul ayat.

But to a certain extent, it is true. Cause we can only know who we really are by how we handle ourselves and others, when we are at our lowest or scariest. and housemanship training is just that.


I've just finished the 5-day-course PTM (Program Transformasi Minda). Google it up to know what it is. It had been a fun week, really. Overall i'd say it's a week full of realizations of who we really are now: adult, with responsibilities. And huge ones too. *peluh kecil*

But we had fun times too, seeing ourselves as who we are deep down inside: little kids at heart. Cause it's quite funny when you realize that these are actually hospital doctors that you are seeing on the stage: acting as 'not-well-in-the-head' people, dancing to cute songs, wearing those wolf and kambing masks, singing to songs with hands waving in the air. We had a good laugh together. So for fellow juniors who might stumble upon this entry looking for PTM experiences, don't be too scared, you'll pretty much enjoy it.

And now it's already less than 24 hours left before the real thing begins. Housemanship is a tough training, and is definitely not meant for the weak-hearted. If we think that those 6-7years of medical training was hard enough, this will be a whole different level altogether. We've heard enough scary stories to prepare ourselves mentally and physically, but we can never really expect what will happen in the near future. Or how would we even cope. Because despite the many stories heard, in the end everyone's experiences will all be different as we would all handle our situations differently.

So the easiest conclusion is always the most basic of all, to put our trust in Allah and do our best. It will be a struggling two years but set the right intention and seek Allah's help: All, The. Time. That we can do what we mean to do, and trust that Allah's help is always on the way. Just ask. That's my motivation at the moment, for i can't really plan for anything else. 

Ilmu milik Allah. 
Skills pun milik Allah. 
Hati orang pun milik Allah. 
And hati kita pun milik Allah. 

So i'll do what i have to do, And leave everything else to The One who's always there for us. :) So do send me and my friends some doa for our new journey. 

That our intention in this field of work is always in the right path.
That our time and energy spent will be filled with barakah, most importantly.
That we will meet people -be it colleagues, seniors or patients- 
who will help us to be better beings.
That we won't lose ourselves in the middle of it all.
And that we'll go through all the little ups and downs safely 
insyaaAllah wa biizdnillah. :)

PTM group 8

Half of MRSM PC doctors
batch 05/06/07

and the truth is, Allah has already blessed us with an abundance of ni'mat even before we even started. Most of us got a place close enough to home, together with friends who we've known for forever. and now old friends are coming back together, and we even have new friends who are as awesome as the ones we already have. (note: there'll be another 65 people going into HRPZ II together with me tomorrow. heh) so it's pretty much unfair for me to complain of anything at the moment. nothing much i could say other than, Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. :)

before i end this rant, here's a doa i've been meaning to share for some time now. i've stumbled upon a section in the Quran a while back, it fits our moments of desperation perfectly i'd say. the time when you wished for everything but you just can't say it? and this doa somehow says it all and i loved every single bit of it. huhu. it is from a hadith:

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda:
"Jika manusia menyimpan emas dan perak, maka simpankanlah kalimah-kalimah ini,
"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku memohon ketetapan dalam menjalankan agama ini dan keteguhan dalam petunjuk.
Aku memohon kepadaMu agar aku dapat bersyukur terhadap nikmatMu.
Aku memohon kepadaMu agar dapat beribadah kepadaMu dengan sebaik-baiknya.
Aku memohon kepadaMu hati yang selamat dan lisan yang benar.
Aku memohon kepadaMu semua kebaikan yang Engkau ketahui.
Aku berlindung kepadaMu dari segala kejahatan yang Engkau ketahui.
Dan aku memohon keampunan kepadaMu dari segala dosa yang Engkau ketahui.
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui semua yang ghaib".
[Hadis riwayat Ahmad]

Ameen ya Rabb. :)
good luck everyone. 
may the odds be ever in your favour. *wink*

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