Till Death Do Us Part

"Till death do us part"

..are words that are often uttered by many.

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It was on monday i think, when a very old atok was admitted to the ward i was assigned to. He was 96 years of age, and was accompanied by his 89-year-old devoted wife. When i was around the ward, i sort of caught a glimpse of his family on the first day he was there, i think it was his daughter and his grandson who came to visit him. But i remember mentally noting that it was a very awkward surrounding, almost stiff. Standing there, not talking nor making any contact with the atok, merely watching him.

We came to talk to the nenek accompanying him afterwards though, and she was a tough lady. At the age of 89, despite her very crooked back, she was able to walk on her own without any aid. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't have any history of diabetes, hypertension or any of the cocktail of diseases that everybody gets at old age. She shared with us her secrets too:

"Mari nok ghoyak ko mek. Dio sebab makaney loni banyok racun. Makey racun blako."

"Let me tell you the secret miss. It's all because the food now are poisonous! We all eat poison!"

Suffice to say we had a good laugh talking to her. But what strikes me most that day was when i caught the occasional glimpse of her, it's always her tending to her husband.  Massaging his calf. massaging his back. adjusting his mask. trying to listen to what the atok was asking of her. she was there for him the whole time. setia; yes, that's the word.

The atok was given an oxygen mask, and wasn't able to talk much either as he was rather breathless and had a very hoarse voice, so he couldn't call out to his wife much. Once, the nenek was preoccupied looking at the staffs running around the ward, and since the atok couldn't quite talk to her, he moved his hand and weakly tugged at the nenek's kain batik. it was beautiful and sad at the same time. Huhu.

2 days after, i came in the morning to see that atok had just passed away quietly. I saw that  nenek only cried a bit and was busy calling her children to come to the hospital. We were told that she was the only one staying with atok for the last two nights. She told us that he asked her to massage his back in his last moments too. He was lying still afterwards in which she didn't even realized up until when the nurses came to give atok his medications. Nenek uttered the same words again and again;

"Toksey sedih, tok lamo lagi ikut dio pulok."

"I don't want to be sad, i'd follow him soon enough"

The daughter came back again to pick her up. But it's not the best thing that we see; standing there watching her old mother doing all the cleaning up. It's the same stiff manner, not even bothering to help her mother or let her rest for a while, let alone comforting her. I can only wonder why, or what kind of environment they actually came from. and i can only pray that nenek will do just fine even without atok by her side, and that her children will be there for her, even if they lack the manner.

But what nenek said was comforting enough in the long run. While to many death is seen as the ultimate end, i believe we are the lucky ones to know that Death is only the start of our reality. and with doa and amal, we all hoped for that better life in the HereAfter, with all of our loved ones. So instead of saying "till death do us part", it's comforting to know that we say:

"Till we meet again in Jannah, insyaAllah."

Let's strive to be back Home together;
all of us, insyaAllah.

وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَاتَّبَعَتْهُمْ ذُرِّيَّتُهُم بِإِيمَانٍ أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ 

وَمَا أَلَتْنَاهُم مِّنْ عَمَلِهِم مِّن شَيْءٍ كُلُّ امْرِئٍ بِمَا كَسَبَ رَهِينٌ

Dan orang-orang yang beriman, dan yang anak cucu mereka mengikuti mereka dalam keimanan, 

Kami hubungkan anak cucu mereka dengan mereka, 

dan Kami tiada mengurangi sedikitpun dari pahala amal mereka. 

Tiap-tiap manusia terikat dengan apa yang dikerjakannya.

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