Till Death Do Us Part

"Till death do us part"

..are words that are often uttered by many.

linked

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It was on monday i think, when a very old atok was admitted to the ward i was assigned to. He was 96 years of age, and was accompanied by his 89-year-old devoted wife. When i was around the ward, i sort of caught a glimpse of his family on the first day he was there, i think it was his daughter and his grandson who came to visit him. But i remember mentally noting that it was a very awkward surrounding, almost stiff. Standing there, not talking nor making any contact with the atok, merely watching him.

We came to talk to the nenek accompanying him afterwards though, and she was a tough lady. At the age of 89, despite her very crooked back, she was able to walk on her own without any aid. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't have any history of diabetes, hypertension or any of the cocktail of diseases that everybody gets at old age. She shared with us her secrets too:

"Mari nok ghoyak ko mek. Dio sebab makaney loni banyok racun. Makey racun blako."

"Let me tell you the secret miss. It's all because the food now are poisonous! We all eat poison!"

Suffice to say we had a good laugh talking to her. But what strikes me most that day was when i caught the occasional glimpse of her, it's always her tending to her husband.  Massaging his calf. massaging his back. adjusting his mask. trying to listen to what the atok was asking of her. she was there for him the whole time. setia; yes, that's the word.

The atok was given an oxygen mask, and wasn't able to talk much either as he was rather breathless and had a very hoarse voice, so he couldn't call out to his wife much. Once, the nenek was preoccupied looking at the staffs running around the ward, and since the atok couldn't quite talk to her, he moved his hand and weakly tugged at the nenek's kain batik. it was beautiful and sad at the same time. Huhu.

2 days after, i came in the morning to see that atok had just passed away quietly. I saw that  nenek only cried a bit and was busy calling her children to come to the hospital. We were told that she was the only one staying with atok for the last two nights. She told us that he asked her to massage his back in his last moments too. He was lying still afterwards in which she didn't even realized up until when the nurses came to give atok his medications. Nenek uttered the same words again and again;

"Toksey sedih, tok lamo lagi ikut dio pulok."

"I don't want to be sad, i'd follow him soon enough"

The daughter came back again to pick her up. But it's not the best thing that we see; standing there watching her old mother doing all the cleaning up. It's the same stiff manner, not even bothering to help her mother or let her rest for a while, let alone comforting her. I can only wonder why, or what kind of environment they actually came from. and i can only pray that nenek will do just fine even without atok by her side, and that her children will be there for her, even if they lack the manner.

But what nenek said was comforting enough in the long run. While to many death is seen as the ultimate end, i believe we are the lucky ones to know that Death is only the start of our reality. and with doa and amal, we all hoped for that better life in the HereAfter, with all of our loved ones. So instead of saying "till death do us part", it's comforting to know that we say:

"Till we meet again in Jannah, insyaAllah."

Let's strive to be back Home together;
all of us, insyaAllah.

وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَاتَّبَعَتْهُمْ ذُرِّيَّتُهُم بِإِيمَانٍ أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ 

وَمَا أَلَتْنَاهُم مِّنْ عَمَلِهِم مِّن شَيْءٍ كُلُّ امْرِئٍ بِمَا كَسَبَ رَهِينٌ

Dan orang-orang yang beriman, dan yang anak cucu mereka mengikuti mereka dalam keimanan, 

Kami hubungkan anak cucu mereka dengan mereka, 

dan Kami tiada mengurangi sedikitpun dari pahala amal mereka. 

Tiap-tiap manusia terikat dengan apa yang dikerjakannya.

[52:21]

Little Things in Life

it's been a while since i last write. time is somehow spent doing so many small things, that i felt somewhat wrong to stay writing in front of the computer when i need to pay back all the time i couldn't spend with my loved ones. (kakak has been home since i came back. along with the two Boolats; Airaa and the 'new' Aimi. Umar is yet to meet Aunty Chik. T_T

currently i am done with a week of doing my elective attachement with the local hospital.  i am with a few friends from UCD along with some other new friends from UIA, UNisZA and Moscow in the medical wards of HRPZ2 in Kota Bharu. it has been a rather interesting and fulfilling week, learning at the local hospital; re-learning the things i have forgotten, as well as learning new local stuff (leptospirosis and the lots) and not to mention all the mind-blowing words the Kelantanese have to offer to explain their symptoms. i had fun, and i am looking forward for the next 2 weeks insyaAllah. :)

and this 'fun' always comes with interesting moments. i guess i have to start sharing them little by little. :)

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I went with Suha to one patient who was resting, and his family was sitting down waiting by his bedside. we wanted to read his charts, so we smiled at them, asking for them not to mind us. then as we were absorbed with the charts, the patient's younger brother and mother sort of commented on our baju kurung. apparently the both of us were wearing a sort of similar type of baju kurung. 

the Mother was complimenting of how pretty they looked and she was saying that she rarely sees those beads sewn at the front of the baju kurung, and it's usually around the wrist part only. we were caught off-guard a bit by her compliments. the mother asked where did we get it done etc. we sincerely had no idea since we both have not been wearing much of baju kurung for years now and we wore old things that we could find. i think both me and Suha sort of felt a bit guilty for not being able to tell them more about those baju kurung that we wore, since they seemed genuinely interested to know where we got it done etc. heck, i don't even know who bought it for me.

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the next day, me and Suha went to KB mall and did a little bit of shopping. then we went to sit at the bench at the entrance while waiting for our dads. we chatted quite a bit when someone else came and sit beside me. then it was suha's turn to leave and i was plugging my earphones in to keep me company, when the 'kakak' beside me started our little conversation. she works as one of the cleaners for one of the shops and was waiting for the time to finish her work. 

we eventually chatted away about Ramadhan, as i asked her is she going back early to cook for buka puasa? she was musing about how ridiculous the prices of food at those bazaar ramadhan are. of how RM10 won't be enough to buy much in those bazaar, that it's better to buy fresh food to cook on your own, and that those cooked food will taste better and last longer, and of how her mother would always cook a small amount for every meal so not to waste anything, etc. after a while, she excused herself to do her work again. little did she knew how that conversation left a huge mark on my heart.

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when i told abah and mama about the baju kurung incident, i kept on remembering their faces when they complimented it. and it made me realize that i truly have never  ever sit down to appreciate these little things that i have. i am not saying that we all need to dig all our clothes in the closet and  start appreciating all the details in those clothes. but perhaps just remember that this is one of the nikmat that we often forget, to have clothes to wear, let alone pretty ones. i guess in light with the fashion trends that's been blooming lately, with all those flashy selendang, skirts and blouses; we kept on looking at people with flashier clothes and greater 'fashion sense', and forget those who we rarely meet, those who can only afford to look at them from a distance. the same goes for those bazaar ramadhan comments by the kakak; cause i think many of us would go to the bazaars not thinking of how much money we had in our pocket, but instead focusing on whatever we could get our hands on. sometimes i wondered, have we ever stopped to wonder what that old pakcik waiting for that little bit of sadaqah thinks of, when he sees the bags of food we brought home for breaking fast everyday, yet we never stopped to give him even a penny. may Allah Forgives us.

these little things in life,

we received too much of them, that we ended up forgetting them the most.

these little things in life,

they are little enough to us, that we forget how big they are to others.

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astaghfirullah.

praying that we all get more of these incidents to humble us down insyaAllah.

اُنْظُرُوْا إِلَى مَنْ هُوَ أَسْفَلَ مِنْكُمْ وَلاَ تَنْظُرُوْا إِلَى مَنْ هُوَ فَوْقَكُمْ

 فَإِنَّهُ أَجْدَرُ أَنْ لاَ تَزْدَرُوْا نِعْمَةَ اللهِ عَلَيْكُمْ. 

"Lihatlah kepada orang yang berada di bawahmu dan jangan melihat orang yang berada di atasmu, kerana yang demikian lebih patut, agar kalian tidak meremehkan nikmat Allah yang telah diberikan kepadamu"

[hadith sahih riwayat Bukhari & Muslim]

مَنْ أَصْبَحَ مِنْكُمْ آمِنًا فِيْ سِرْبِهِ، مُعَافًى فِيْ جَسَدِهِ، وَعِنْدَهُ قُوْتُ يَوْمِهِ، فَكَأَنَّمَا حِيْزَتْ لَهُ الدُّنْيَا بِحَذَافِيْرِهَا. 

"Siapa saja di antara kalian yang merasa aman di tempat tinggalnya, diberikan kesihatan pada badannya, dan ia memiliki makanan untuk harinya itu, maka seolah-olah ia telah memiliki dunia seluruhnya".

[hadith hasan riwayat at-Tirmidzi]