we had our final exams today. 2 papers. surgery and medicine part I. sometimes i wondered at how we are questioned about the accumulated knowledge of 12 weeks in just a piece of paper? not to say that i have a lot of knowledge to offer; but sometimes i wish knowledge (ilmu) can be gained according to our own pace. when we learn because we want to learn. when we read because we want to know. when we practice because we want to perfect a skill. and not because of exams, scholarship or any other pressure.
~sigh~ finding myself lost time and time again. praying He Guides.
anyways; i came back home and the newsfeed in facebook were filled with so many updates already on Gaza. Allahu Allah. Jannah is being filled yet again with more martyrs.
***********
"syahid."
everyone will have that prick of jealousy inside whenever we see them, kan? the fact that they are the chosen ones picked by Allah s.w.t, to die in His Path. ones who died protecting a very holy land. ones who'd wake up everyday to die a martyr.
sometimes i wondered, if we were in their place, would our aims be as noble as them? would we aim for "syahid" as much as they were? or would it be like how we are now, praying for syahid in the daily Mathurat du'a that we recite. never really feeling in depth, of how noble this ending of life is. never really truly wanting it, despite the recitations being at the tip of our tongues again and again, every. single. day. =,=''
and in my humble opinion, Allah Grant them syahid because everyday they would wake up and do something that we all find ourselves not able to do so: to stare at Death straight in the eye. because the threat of Death, looms everywhere in Gaza;
when they take a step out of their home,
when they are walking down the street for a slice of bread for the family,
when they are heading for the mosque to pray Subuh, Zuhur, Asar, Maghrib and Isyak,
heck, they can die even if they are in their house, what with the bombings from those damned Zionists.
so remind ourselves again, of who they are and what they do that Allah Grant them those places in Jannah.
them; who Dare to Stare.
and us. how can we dare to stare at Death,
when we are looking at Dunia with those googly eyes still?
Allahu Allah.
we have to pick up the courage to stare at Death in the eyes,
but i guess it starts with turning our eyes away from Dunia first shall we?
because inevitably Dunia is just a place we pass through,
and the final stop is always Jannah.
we just need to remind ourselves to keep our head straight.
we just need to remind ourselves to keep our head straight.
InsyaAllah wa Aamiin.
ps: even if we are scared of Death,
the fact of the matter is, Death is staring at us at every blink of the eye.
~huhu~
the fact of the matter is, Death is staring at us at every blink of the eye.
~huhu~
as always, reminder to self first and foremost.
T_______T
*****
“Sentiasa akan ada sekelompok dari umatku
yang sentiasa berjuang bersama-sama kebenaran,
mencabar dan menentang musuh-musuh mereka.
Musuh-musuh mereka tidak dapat memberi mudarat kepada mereka
sehingga Allah mendatangkan keputusannya.
Mereka tetap dalam keadaan demikian.”
Maka para sahabat bertanya,”Dimanakah mereka?”
Jawab Rasulullah.” Di Baitul Maqdis dan sekitarnya”
[Riwayat Bukhari]
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