Generalisasi dan Diferensiasi

post ini sangat panjang. you've been warned :)

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i wasn't born in Kelantan. but i was definitely raised there. we came back to Pasir Mas when i was two. *and a half?*. At 5, we moved to Kubang Kerian, near enough Hospital USM that you can see it clearly through the back windows; we stayed there eversince. I went at first to Tadika RIPAS, just a small kindergarten across the road; then proceeded to SK Islah; where i loved all the things that i was involved in, glorious days you should say?; continued to SMSTMFP; i have never imagined any other school, because i wanted us family to be the Farisian family. Abah, Mama, Kakak and Abe went there (and Abe Ammar too). but sadly, 3 months into it (or was it only a month?), i was diagnosed with homesick + chronic gastritis (now i know it's due to over-secretion of gastric juice coming from stress), despite abah and mama coming everyday and the house is just 15 minutes away. :) but that's Allah's plans. because i ended up in SMKA Naim Lilbanat, which i love dearly till this very day. even though i didn't specifically learn about Deen there, but it did form some basis of my characters now. then, i headed to MRSM PC (ironically it's situated beside SMSTMFP, heheh) and i had one of the greatest time there. (and some darkest hours too that i dare not cherish.huhu..)

*cough cough* sorry. that's a tad too much info of my schooling days. my point is, the first 18 years of my life, was spent in Kelantan. i have never had any outside friends. (maybe a few in my highschool) and it was during my pre-college days that i finally truly mingled with those outside of Kelantan.

in KMB, i met those from Melaka, Johor, Kedah (which i find myself almost always very close to those from Utagha na) Seremban, Kuala Lumpur etc. and wanna know the first few fun facts i hear?

1. budak kelantan ni assabiyyah. they don't like to mix with others.

so now if i prefer to have a fellow Kelantanese as my future hubby, i may seem like one ke?  but do people know, that my one and only reason is because i dont want to have to think of which kampung i should head back to during Raya? *cough cough* berfikiran jauh sikit.

2. budak kelantan and budak kedah memang akan selalu bergaduh.

when i asked; "but i'm from Kelantan. you're from Kedah. but we're close friend?" "yan lain." somehow that answer is not sufficient enough for me.

3. budak kelantan is perceived as being really bad in English.

"i seriously didn't think you were from Kelantan." upon listening to my first presentation. somehow i find it confusing. is that supposed to be a compliment?

4. taknak kahwin dengan orang kelantan, banyak masalah.

why? they have uncles and aunts who married some Kelantanese, and they had problems in marriage bla bla. some people even make it clear. "cepat-cepatlah kahwin. tapi kalau boleh taknak orang Kelantan." "nenek benci orang Kelantan." kata seorang nenek dari Johor. great. =,=''

5. muka serious tak macam orang Kelantan. @ aah, nampak muka Kelantan.

what's that supposed to mean? i didn't know that facial expressions and dressings can help you differentiate people.

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and the list goes on. i've heard so much that i grew tired of explaining to people that human beings aren't the same. but one thing i finally conclude, that this is what we call Generalization. growing up, i have never heard Abah or Mama say things like, orang Melaka/Johor/Negeri/Kedah/Sabah/Sarawak memang macam itu atau macam ini. (this and that). 

if i were to judge a negeri based on a person that i met, then how would that make everybody? i see a lot of teenagers in Kuala Lumpur who go clubbing, doing inappropriate gestures in pictures. so should i say budak Kuala Lumpur memang macam tu? and for those nice friends of mine from Kuala Lumpur, i'd say to them, "you guys are different."? 

rather than coming to that kind of generalizations, i'd rather say, those kids have problems. we have the same kind of teenagers everywhere and in Kelantan too, and the Negeri is definitely not to be blamed, but the upbringing of the kids should. 

Some people don't want their kids marrying a Kelantanese, because they hear stories of problems in family etc. then should i not marry a guy from Melaka, just because i hear few stories of weird mother-in-laws from Melaka? or those in Johor, because i hear the mother-in-laws would ask weird questions to the future daughter-in-laws, testing the basic cooking skills, scrutinizing every talent we have, before we are accepted into the family? so if my parents are the world's most awesome and coolest in-laws in the world, you would say that they're not the typical Kelantanese?

i guess to a certain extent, we are easily detected in a crowd, and are subjected to generalization; because of our distinct dialects. and also the fact that many of us got twisted tongue (a.k.a bau budu) when we try to not talk in our dialects. 

but here is my opinion, to people who still talk about this facts.

stop the generalization. it's hurtful at some point. we human beings are not the same. and every human being have their own imperfections. if you really want to generalize something, then it better be their good points. budak-budak Johor are very funny. those budak KL i know are all cool. This Melaka girl eats healthy. budak Kelantan .........(fill in the blanks with positive facts) etc etc.

stressing on others' bad points does not get us anywhere. rather, i think it increases the hatred/assabiyyah/annoyance in you. and this is not just about sifat kenegerian. it applies to all. be it a group of friends, a society, a jemaah, a political group. don't generalize them because of a few weird individuals or members. nobody is ever the same. remember that. 

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Differences should be embraced, 

rather than scrutinized;

They help us think.

وَمِنۡ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ خَلۡقُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَٱخۡتِلَـٰفُ أَلۡسِنَتِڪُمۡ وَأَلۡوَٲنِكُمۡ‌ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٲلِكَ لَأَيَـٰتٍ۬ لِّلۡعَـٰلِمِينَ

Dan di antara tanda-tanda kekuasaan-Nya ialah menciptakan langit dan bumi dan berlain-lainan bahasamu dan warna kulitmu. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda bagi orang-orang yang mengetahui.

[30:22]

wallahua'lam.

yours truly,

a Muslim. raised in Kelate. 

and planning to remain in it too. ;)