syukur

sujud syukur. decided to do that today. just got back from another exam. so i thought i should convey it. despite knowing ever so clearly that i won't be getting a 100 marks or anything, i was still able to answer the paper kan. *well, at least i think i did*

but a question popped in my head. nak buat sujud syukur sebab tu je? what about the fact that i got to the exam on time, eventhough the actual bus that we waited for didn't come at all? am i not thankful for that? 

what about in the exam? i was able to hold to the pencil, i don't even have to think much about doing it, all i focused on was just answering the questions. but for some, even holding a pencil is a problem itself. let alone the exam.

and how about when i got back? instead of having to walk, i was able to get a bus instead. and happily chatted all the way back.

and as i got back, i managed to ate all the yummy food. it's always there on the table. lapar sikit, there's a whole bunch of food awaiting. TESCO pun depan rumah je. and there's no need to que this long.

what about the sight? the taste? the ability to breath? am i not thankful for these? that i only decided to perform sujud syukur, just because of one endocrine paper? astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah.

i guess this is what they call nikmat yang tak terhingga dari Dia. tak terhingga, to the extent you even forget about them. tak terhingga, that even if someone said we should be thankful for the air we breathe, we scoffed it off, saying "alim nye.relax-relax sudey.."

and alhamdulillah coincidently, when this was still bugging me; i read the Quran, and somehow decided to read the translation of a verse ( i was intrigued to stop mid-way in my recital, because the verse mentioned 'Hud hud' which was a name of a sister's house in Leeds), but i mistakenly ended up reading the verse before it:

"... Dan dia (Nabi Sulaiman) berdoa "Ya Tuhan-ku, anugerahkanlah aku ilham untuk tetap mensyukuri nikmat-Mu, yang telah Engkau Anugerahkan kepadaku dan kepada kedua orang tuaku dan agar aku mengerjakan kebajikan yang Engkau Redhai; dan masukkanlah aku dengan Rahmat-Mu ke dalam golongan hamba-hambaMu yang soleh."

[27:19] 

this verse made me realize how weak we humans are. even to be thankful TO Him, we need the ilham a.k.a strength FROM Him. Nabi Sulaiman himself prayed for it. but us? too cocky to even think about all the nikmat. too cocky to even pray that He makes us one of those who are thankful all the time.

im writing all these, because im scared. that in a minute or two, this feeling will just pass me by. i might not appreciate the air that i'm breathing, as much as i am now. despite still knowing that 30 seconds without it already leave me all helpless, hopeless, and out of breath. 

for now. syukur is what i feel.

at least He Gave me a chance to think about this.

and i hope everybody will get the chance too. 

InsyaAllah.