Lose some, Gain some

i am already halfway through a post actually, but some musibah (test) happened that i think would be a waste if i don't use whatever feelings that i'm feeling, and whatever it is that i'm thinking for some reminders. :)

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linked

eversince i stepped foot in Dublin, there had been a number of times where i have lost my purse. and today, marked my 3rd time that i lost it. cuai sungguh cik izyan. maybe. but no worries, because the first and second was just a momentarily lost because my purse ended up safe and sound with me in the end.

let me brief you about the first two occurrences. 

the first time i lost it, was when i was in Disneyland Paris. yes, guys. you got that right. the big old, huge, filled with humongous amount of people from all over the world, Disneyland Paris. i was in my first year at that time. and it slipped out from my bag when i was riding a roller-coaster. by the time i realized that it was gone, i just knew that it was a lost cause. one insignificant purse, in that huge huge place. i remembered feeling numb, but not sad. things running around in my mind, cause there's so much that i need to do, i don't know where to start. and i was totally shaken with the thoughts that for Allah to give me this, i must've done something really really bad. then, i head to the main reception area (i don't know what was it called, really). reported my missing purse, described it, and the guy at the cashier went behind, and asked "is this yours?". subhanallah. amazing feeling i tell you. the purse was already there even before i realized that it was gone. 

the second time. it was my mini purse. a cheap purse where i would put just my essential stuff to bring to the hospital; some cash, my debit card, my Rambler (card for bus trips) and some other important cards. i parked my bike, and head for the early morning DART (train-like-thingy) to the hospital with Pika, and i  couldn't find my purse. "hmm..maybe i left it at home." after a whole day at the hospital, i was finally heading home for the evening. we arrived at the station and head to our bikes. and there it was, all black and shiny, lying on the ground beside my bike; untouched. subhanallah. another amazing feeling of how Allah is actually taking care of everything without us knowing about it.

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anyhow. so despite the two incidences ending with happy endings, i totally believed (and still am) that there are so much more that Allah wanted to teach me. and in those incidences, He had always granted me feelings or thoughts that creep deep into the heart and the mind. insyaAllah.

His Reminders range from anything really for those incidences. it's not just about kebergantungan kepada Allah; it's not just about starting everything with Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim; it's not just about us having to be more careful and detailed with the things that we do; it's a mixture of all that. and sometimes, i believe, that it's just those random moments, where He Wants us to snap out of our daydream. and remind us again;

"Oyy hambaKu, 

I Am Here."

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anyway. so this time around i have lost another mini-purse, with all my basic stuff and some stash of cash in it that i bring to the hospital with me. i can't even recall the last time i saw it. because i didn't use it at all last Friday. and yes, as much as it is frustrating that i don't have the slightest memory of it for the day that i think i lost it; i know deep down that if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. i put my effort though. i looked around my room (and the fact that i just rearranged my whole room confuses things even more), i even went to the hospital to look for it, to no avail. sobs~ =,=''

still, there are so many things that i think He is Reminding me right now, better yet teguran-teguran halus from the Above? perhaps yesterday i was a bit caught up with some extra income? or maybe i am not doing that well with my sedekah and infaq? wallahua'lam. so i've yet to see a happy ending for my lost purse this time. but whatever the ending might be; i hope i'll be all macho and bergaya till the very end. *wink*

i remembered a saying which goes; you lose some, you gain some.

but i think in this case, even if i lose some, i know i'm gaining a whole lot more, insyaAllah. :)

make do'a for me. biidznillah i might find a happy ending for it.

but even if it's meant to be lost, 

do pray that my sins are cleared along the way too!

Aamiin. :)

last but not least, here is a hadith yang sangat-pedas-makan-dalam-tikam-dada.huhu~

أنفقي أَوِ انْفَحِي ، أَوْ انْضَحِي ، وَلاَ تُحصي فَيُحْصِي اللهُ عَلَيْكِ ، وَلاَ تُوعي فَيُوعي اللهُ عَلَيْكِ

“Infaqkanlah hartamu. Janganlah engkau menghitung-hitungnya (menyimpan tanpa mahu mensedekahkan). Jika tidak, maka Allah akan menghilangkan barakah rezeki tersebut. Janganlah menghalangi anugerah Allah untukmu. Jika tidak, maka Allah akan menahan anugerah dan kemurahan untukmu.” 

(HR. Bukhari no. 1433 dan Muslim no. 1029, 88)

ps: had 5 open house raya today. tummy so full. and i need to remember names better! T,T
pps: heading to Tullamore for 3 weeks. i'm having butterflies in my tummy. thank Allah for internet and phones. :)