u.j.i.a.n

"Dan sungguh akan Kami berikan cobaan kepadamu, dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar. 

[2:155]

we have been promised, that this life on Earth, wouldn't be all easy. at one point, you cant say that life is all happy and blissful. at one point, you will face something that you'd feel unbearable. and everyone have their fair share of experience. including the non-believers i guess. for if they're able to face the hardships with opened arms and hearts, He will Reward them in this life. but us? He Promised us a wayyyyyyy better gift. nikmat iman yang lebih kuat. among other nikmat of course. (reward Afterlife included)

not to say that we can't cry, or be sad of the things that happened to us. because that's just fitrah. we are born weak. that's why we need Him. and these tests are just some sort of a 'push' from Him, TO Him. the reason? because we ourselves tend to forget our own Creator. to the extent He has to Help us remember Him back. because us humans, when we're weak, or sad, or down, that's when we really want to believe in the existence of a higher power. that's when we want to acknowledge His Existence. again, that's fitrah. yet, it's not something to be proud of, and one should always try and train oneself to remember Him constantly.

as for all the ujian that Allah had prepared, we should build up our faith (keyakinan) that they are not for nothing. quoting from a random blog:

Allah Maha Pengasih; jauh sekali Allah takdirkan ujian 

hanya untuk menyusahkan hamba-Nya. Marilah kita 

sama-sama cungkil hikmah di sebalik ujian yang 

ditimpakan.

Ujian sebenarnya melatih kita untuk mendapatkan 

sifat-sifat yang terpuji. Sabar, redha, tawakkal, baik 

sangka, mengakui diri sebagai hamba yang lemah, 

mendekatkan diri dengan Allah, harapkan pertolongan 

Allah, merasai dunia hanya nikmat sementara dan 

sebagainya.

yet, i am still a weak human, who constantly worries about ujian-ujian yang akan datang. worried of any big ones that He might Give, and yet praying that He won't instead. sometimes i pray, that i just keep being strong with the small ujian that He Gave, keep being thankful for not giving me the big ones; eventhough i still know that He will Test accordingly to how much we can put up.

because i think i am very weak. reading my dearest friend's entry already left me crying so much. sometimes i wonder, will we end up being stronger? in iman and taqwa? i pray she would. i pray that everybody would. 

sometimes, i write things like this in here, not just to remind others out there, but to strengthen my own beliefs. beliefs like; hidup ni sementara...ujian akan selalu ada...reminders.reminders. there are so many. and listening from others and sharing with others are the only ways to help strengthen ourselves in this very short lives that we have. 

wallahua'lam.