Just Another Chapter.

salam :)

i've been in and out of this blog many many times. contemplating on what to write. when there is so much going on in your mind, you would almost always end up in silence. no words. just thoughts buzzing around. so many things happened, in a very short period of time. melancholic as i might be, it does affect me in every way i could think of; 

physically. because i moved out.

psychologically; i had an exam the other day. and big ones are coming up in less than 2 weeks time.

emotionally; friends left Dublin for good. *teary*

each has their own lengthy story. but i guess this blog is not for me to rant about my boring life. (though i have done it occasionally in mind rants.heh) but it's to share how those changes helped me reflect. setuju? thank you. :) from those three, i'll be talking about one that affected me the most; of them friends leaving Dublin for good. 

i cant tell all about them in here. because each individual i have met, has somewhat build this person i am today. and to tell how each and everyone of them influenced me, is not something that i can do. enough to know that i cherish them in my heart. those INTEC kids, my Stillorgan housemates, my Shifaa housemates, the ISOC kids, the FOSIS gang, the KMBians; i miss them all truthfully. but i'll only be babbling about one for tonight, because i made a promise to them once, that i will write about 'us' in here. :) so to those not mentioned, enough to assure you that you guys are in my heart too. always. :')

so here goes;

*****

linked

Mukhliseen. if you readers are alert enough, i have mentioned this name quite a few times in here. (ke tak? i know i did once). it's my usrah's name. my Bulatan Gembira. the group where i recharged myself over and over again. it's where i listened to so many stories, told in a different perspective. a perspective where Allah comes first. where our Religion is the basis, insyaAllah. 

it was our last usrah that day. we went to the mosque as usual. somehow it seems like everybody still think of it like any other usrah we had before. we sit down, with the food and junks in the middle. Quran in hand. notebooks and ipads and ipods around. stopping for a while for the prayers. but towards the end, we had a different session than normal. it's time for some 'pesanan' time. our words of wisdom to those leaving. their words of wisdom for those left behind.

when my turn came, i broke down. typical typical me. but i wondered what kind of sadness was i feeling? is it just because im not able to see them again? macam tipu. i think im still able to go back home to Malaysia and meet them somewhere in cafes what not. is it because im worried that it might not be the same way like before? we may be awkward the next time we meet. not having much to share etc? maybe.

but i think the most painful thing is the realization; that this is a borrowed blessing that He is taking back from us; taking back from me. Mukhliseen. our usrah. a group of people Allah had given me the chance to be with, sharing thoughts, building our beliefs together, strengthening our beliefs together. Mukhliseen can never be complete without each and everyone of us. because everybody has helped built one another in many different ways. 

and Allah is taking some of that nikmat back. because that's life, it's just something borrowed. and He Takes what is rightfully His to begin with.

so as sad as it might be, to realize that the 6-membered-Mukhliseen will no longer be there; and that there might be just the four of us, or maybe some additional members coming soon, or whatever the changes that might take place; somehow i feel contented. that at least, Allah had gave us this chance to know one another, and helped one another in this race for His Redha. i feel blessed; knowing that He had always Planned everything in my life, and He includes Mukhliseen in it. 

and thinking that it has now become a part of my past, and no longer my present; i have to say that it has been a one good chapter of my life that i will cherish. that i will look back more often than i wished for. and i hope, when that Day comes, this chapter of my life will be something that save me from the Hell Fire. insyaAllah.

Another chapter of my life has ended.I thank Allah for giving me one of the best;

and I pray that the ones coming my way are as good as this, 
if not better.

insyaAllah.

to fellow Mukhliseen, 

ones who have left, and ones who are still with me;

you guys dont know how much you have taught me.

i thank Allah for all of you.

praying that through Mukhliseen, we strive harder to become one. 

ameen. :)

yours truly,

striving hard.

ps: do get an usrah of your own. you wont regret it :)
dont know where to find one? email me. i'm here to help
(iklan sket) ^^,