desperate

i still think it's funny (tade kelakar gelak) that pergantungan terhadap Allah increased tremendously when we are in desperate circumstances. the one closest to us all is none other than; exams. the fact is, the feeling of being desperate should come on a second-by-second basis. in other words, constantly and continously. 

we should be more desperate for Him to be by our side, and Forgive us, because of all the sins we have committed, those that we are aware of, and more scarily, those  that we are not aware of. we should be desperately asking Him for His Blessings, because we are scared of not knowing when our Time will come. and if it comes, will we end it with iman filled in our hearts? or sins that can never be undone?

naudzubillah.

but we are more scared and desperate, when we want things here, for Dunya. we desperately raise our hands and pray, because we are scared of the exams. because we are scared of not finishing our assignments on time. we are scared of missing our flights for vacations. no, it's not wrong to have those scary feelings in those circumstances. it's just that, i kept thinking of how good it would be, to have the same feeling, for the right things.

being desperate to have Him by our side, because we are scared for the sins we commit. scared of our own keikhlasan. scared of being riak, ujub, takabbur. scared of not performing our prayers correctly eventhough umur dah 21. scared of not fulfilling our amanah. scared of not fulfilling our responsibilities. 

nevertheless, exams are one of the times that i think is a form of a gift from Allah. it's a chance for us to be closer to Him. cuz the feelings we have before and during exams, are so desperate and full of uncertainty, that we end up asking for Him constantly. you know during exams, you'll get all sorts of hadiths and verses from the Quran, from your friends, it just shows that we all go back to our fitrah kan? when we are in dire need, and everything we do seems hopeless (the studying what-not). and Every single one of us, will end up saying: 

Ya Allah, i need You. more than ever.

tapi Allah yang sangat best ni, already have His Answers written almost everywhere. and this is one of the oh-sooo-many of His Answers that i like to listen to and read over and over and over over over over again..hehe

“Dan Apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) tentang Aku, maka katakanlah sesungguhnya Aku dekat. Aku mengabulkan doa orang yang memohon apabila ia memohon kepadaKu. Maka hendaklah mereka memenuhi (panggilan/perintah)Ku, dan beriman kepadaKu agar mereka mendapat petunjuk (bimbingan)”.  

[2: 186]

how lucky we are.

alhamdulillah

ya Rabb

lots of love,

your hamba yang selalu hampeh. 

*sigh*