بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
last week, i've been attached to the Plastic Surgery team back in Vincent't Hospital. and like all the other surgery rotations that we are in, we sort of need to get the Consultant's signature before the end of the 5-days rotation we have with the team. after occasionally tagging along with the team, me and my team-mates decided to get the signature on Thursday.
our plan? we would have an hour of hand-teaching (basically just one of the Reg giving a presentation on case studies about hand surgeries). and we decided to follow one of the consultant's clinic which might take about 2 hours or so, get the signature, and off to study on our own!
so the whole morning, we were divided into 2's and 3's, we took the patients in, took their histories on our own (basically asking them questions related to what brings them in to the hospital etc), examine them, and then present those cases to the consultant, and follow him again to meet the patient and listen to how the management for those patients work.
all was going well and our tummies were all making weird noises as it was nearing lunch-break. we were giddy to get it all over and done with, until we got the bummer news; the Consultant just left. and thus, we all had to come down to the 2nd Consultant's clinic session that afternoon. and amazingly, the same thing happened again. the Consultant went to the theater when the clinic was about to finish. so we all went through the final Consultant's outpatient session, only to have him left us at the last minutes as well. hadoy. so the plan didn't work, and we all waited for the kind Registrar to sign us off instead.
my take on this? Allah sure does wants to get our intention right no? i realized that my aim that day was solely to get the signature, that i guess He might just want to clean it off. heh. hambek kau 8.00am-3.30pm clinic straight!! i guess that's why they say we have to always renew our intentions. it easily changes from time to time, turning the things that we do into pure useless things, instead of an ibadah.
rather simple to say, but hard to do, kan?
but most importantly, there was something that i gained in the whole hours i spent in the clinics that day. i get to see so many different patients, coming in with so many reasons (plastic based though). some had mastectomy due to breast cancer, some had skin cancer on their nose and the list goes on. when you talk to them, you just cant deny that behind all those spoken words, they are all scared. or they have been scared for the ordeals that they were in; and still are.
not being able to use their hands. they cant work. they have to turn down jobs.
they've just finished a surgery, and they are very much in pain after running out of meds,
yet they don't know which painkillers can they take?
their fingers are swelling up, and it's starting to get painful,
and now they know that the only option is cutting them off.
and there i was, just a medical student listening to all of them, writing things down, as if they are all part of the things i read from the medical books. but no, it's different. these are the real people. those who have to live with the things that i read. and unlike me, who can just flip the pages and forget about the pain, the bleeding, or the amputations; they can't. the pain are still there. the bleeding is not stopping. they have to live with their physical limitation.
every other moment, when i was sitting behind the doctor, and listening to them talking to the patients, or even when i am talking to the patients, there are a lot of things i wish i could say to them.
Ni ujian dari Allah.
InsyaAllah Dia permudahkan.
but ottoke (what can i do)? they are not Muslims. and i am just a Malaysian medical student, standing there behind those doctors. so i am left with the only thing that i can do then, to make Dua. praying that with every ordeal that Allah gave them, would somehow lead them a little bit closer to the biggest nikmat that we all have; hidayah dari Allah s.w.t. may their hearts be opened; to nikmat Iman; nikmat Islam. nikmat of knowing that we have Allah by our side.
so thank you Plastics rotation, even if i still have a lot to read about Plastics and those 5-days is definitely not enough, i definitely learn one thing. for every pain that i see in others, i will definitely make Du'a for them. biidznillah, this is my promise.
Imam An Nawawi menyatakan dalam Al Adzkar (hal. 511), *linked*
"Akan tetapi dibolehkan berdoa untuknya (orang kafir),
agar memperoleh hidayah,
kesihatan badan, dan afiyat,
puting everything to a halt for now.
only to know that by the end of this, i need to choose, and make a decision.
funny how things always come when you don't want them to.
i guess that's why it's called Tarbiyyah.
you will learn a thing or two. definitely.
*heads up yan!*