after the exam, i waited for the other 2 pretty girls to finish their session. im the first name in the batch so i've accepted my fate that i will always be in the first group. went to college alone at about 7.30am, and finished the OSCEs at 10am. alhamdulillah~ after piles of crazy exams, Allah ended that strained period well for us. ok. no more exam talk. overall, alhamdulillah it's over and done with. hospital this monday! cant wait for a new life. (which is much scarier, but whatever).
Surreal and Syria.
so at 3pm, we headed to O'Connel street a.k.a the city of Dublin. at the Spire in Dublin's heart, the kids were holding a Flashmob for Syria. i have watched countless of Syria Flashmobs in youtube from all over the world. thus knowing that they will hold one in Dublin a few weeks back, i was so up for it! despite missing the 2 rehearsals cause of those exams, but alhamdulillah we were still able to join the real one yesterday. :)
we got into positions. some were actors who acted scenes happening in Syria. me and the girls just have words like "Your sillence is Killing Syria" on our back and facing them words to the crowd passing by. so then there was this moment of silence. where the actors were in their position, and we were in ours. and everybody stayed still while the crowds looked around. some honked. some looked curiously from the bus or from the sides. some were curious enough to walk around. some take pictures.
so here is the surreal part.
when we were asked to stay still in those positions, i really didn't know what to do. not literally, because staying still is just..staying still. i was thinking; macam mana nak betulkan niat in these circumstances? what am i doing there? for what? how much is this helping them? what are we aiming for? are the words on my back and in my hands will able to let these crowds around know? will all those scenes acted touch their hearts? or at least for ones who haven't heard of Syria, will they go home and check what's happening? those questions cropped up.
the whole time i wondered, the actors are acting scenes that are really happening back in Syria. then and there too. the fact that while we are silently showing still acts of dragging people by their shirts, crying over dead bodies, soldiers stepping on people, these are happening at that moment too, back in Syria.
someone is being dragged by their shirt in that 10 minutes.
someone is crying over dead bodies of their loved ones in that 10 minutes.
someone is being stepped and kicked and punched by evil soldiers in that 10 minutes
get what i mean? surreal. when somehow you dont know what you are doing, knowing that something so sinister is really happening somewhere else. and the fact that after the whole thing, i went to eat with ika and pika, makes it all so surreal. how different it is. our world and their world; our test and their test of iman.
"susah la. nak pikir pasal Syria la, Palestine la
bukan boleh buat apa pun.
(ps: thumbs up for the wideworld GMJ, by the way).
yang masalah sosial Malaysia pun tak habis lagi.
family pun tak jaga elok lagi.
diri sendiri pun entah ke mana lagi!"
this is the usual words coming out of everybody's mouth really. when we think of what's happening around us, we realize that it's too much. and we realize how insignificant we are and that doing anything really changes nothing. but that's the problem. these thought are wrong.
because when we are doing these kinds of things, no matter how small it is; be it going to global marches, doing these flashmobs, watching those videos, spreading things around; it's still something doable. yes it does not make much difference. us boycotting Starbucks will not make Palestine free in 10 minutes. us going to marches, or flashmobs will not free those people from any hardships.
but the fact that we are doing all these small things, because we are thinking of them, shows that we are praying for them. and bukan ke "Doa senjata Mukmin."?
i admit, we can never do much. but not being able to do much, doesn't mean you don't have to do nothing. doing something and not doing anything is a huge difference. but doing something is already something, and it's for Him to decide how big or small it is. how significant or insignificant it is. the thing is, nothing is insignificant in Allah's sight.
so no matter how surreal it seems at that moment; having being able to go shopping still afterwards, i prayed that those effort counts. at least us 100++ people there for those few hours, were all there because we are indirectly praying for them. and prayers are always Heard. kan? so make the effort. not just for yourself, but for others too.
“Tidak sempurna iman seseorang itu selagi dia tidak mengasihi saudaranya
sebagaimana ia mengasihi dirinya sendiri.”
(Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)