oyy tudung labuh!


"ingat dia baik sangat ke?"
"tu tak boleh. ni tak boleh."
"salah sangat ke?"

"nanges ntah pape"
"buat baik nak kita masuk society die lah tu."
"suka judge orang."

saya tak pakai tudung labuh.
but my heart aches a little whenever i read or hear people seething them. talking bad about what they do, and most importantly, fuming about what they don't do. maybe they have had bad experiences with one or two. i had them too. but i don't go generalizing them all into one word. because each individuals are different. each individuals have their own weakness and imperfections. setuju? thank you. 

saya tak pakai tudung labuh.
but my heart aches when people said that they are judging others. that they think they are better than others. whilst whenever i am with them, i never heard them talk about others. even if they did, it's always benda-benda baik. "cantiknya. baiknya. sopannya. rajinnya." 

saya tak pakai tudung labuh.
but i know what they are striving for. they have found something beautiful in Islam. something that makes their world so beautiful. and because of that, they want everybody around them to feel the same too. and yet, many pushed them away, ridicule them, and just dont want to be with them. yet, those smiles on their faces never fade. 

saya tak pakai tudung labuh.
but i know about their strength and weakness. (..kot.) strength, comes when they see someone falling madly and deeply in love with our Deen. sadness, comes when they see one does the opposite of Allah's rules. they are doing everything the Quran teaches really, yet people detest them because of it. 

saya tak pakai tudung labuh.
and i'm not saying wearing one makes you the most pious and nicest person in the world, and that you are guaranteed Heaven. and not wearing one makes you the most evil witch that ever walk the planet and that you'd surely be burnt in Hell. no. i know this. them tudung labuh know this. i dont know who came up with these kinds of general statements, really. but i know one thing, wearing them covers your aurat. and isn't covering up one of the many ways that leads you to His Heaven? covering your aurat and akhlak yang baik are two different things, of course. both needs continuous effort. but we should always remember too, one can never be complete without the other. sun and moon. night and day. yin and yang. setuju? 

saya tak pakai tudung labuh.
but i see how well they are treated with them. Allah protect them from 'hati yang berpenyakit'. we see them for ourselves; guys think twice to talk to them. guys think twice to even talk ABOUT them. ask them boys really. the ones for friends and the ones for wives will rarely be the same group of people. most, if not all. 


oyy tudung labuh! (sorry kasar sikit.heh.) 

keep doing what you are doing. keep thinking the way you are thinking. keep smiling the way you are smiling. you are beautiful just the way you are. even the ones not wearing them can see that. you are the ones in the front row, the ones that those in search for Allah are looking up to. the ones we all want to be. we prayed for your kind of beauty and we prayed for your kind of strength. so keep being there for us. keep waiting for us. and pray for us down here. :)

the more you love Allah, 
the more you cover up.
reminder to self. =,=''

yours truly,
pemakai selendang, kawan tudung labuh. heh. :)


mind rant 3#

salam.  gaah~ this is why it's dangerous for me to come back home early. because i will end up doing this kinds of things. despite having so many other important things to do like the never-ending lectures that i need to read, understand and memorize before the coming exam (which is in a month). but thankfully, we did practice a bit just now in the surau. so that sort of makes it okay for me to be in here kejap? heh.


so here goes my chronology of thoughts for the moment:

i've lost my interest in facebook quite a long time ago. like any other lagho things, you will always reach a limit in doing 'fun' things. it's just nature. why we managed to stay long enough in the lagho things? credits goes to Mr Syaiton and Mr Nafsu. we like wasting time + mr Syaiton help us waste time, and voila~ we ended up not doing things for Allah = lagho. but nevertheless, being bored of it doesn't mean i ended up deactivating it or deleting my whole account. but instead im trying to use it with more purposes? as in, intentionally going in there for certain things. as much as stalking has become a normal thing to do nowadays for anyone who has a facebook account, im trying to restrain myself from stalking others and knowing too much about them through fb. because lets just face it, facebook is making our lives cheaper and cheaper. when mr nobody knows everything about you and vice versa. (ahh.. feels sad now.haih).

so all i did normally (and still trying), would be to check out my notifications, my own page, my little niece Boolat, stalking my own baby sister (heh) and reading the news feed. and occasionally i would end up into someone else's page through anything interesting (posts) that they posted. alright, where am i going here?

oh right. facebook's positive side. so i realized with some restraining here and there (note: stalking) as well as deleting the unnecessary people on the news feed; you will end up getting quite a lot of information; useful ones that is. seriously. great articles, cool videos, heartbreaking status updates, hadiths, verses of Quran, you name it. so it's not that bad after all. 

okay, where am i going again? (it's a mind rant. so it IS ranting while im typing.ngehee~)

so this is what i noticed through the news feed lately. whilst guys are busy talking about kahwin bla and bla; i see a different pattern with the girls. we are just... sad. i don't know what's happening lately. but seems like every girl in my circle is sad. despite the happy faces, the jokes, we are all deeply bruised inside. some felt betrayed. some felt she had been wronged. some felt insecure. some felt sinful. some felt patronized. some felt judged. some felt so lonely. and the list goes on. and i'm definitely in those listed. sinful, insecure, judged, patronized, wronged, lonely; felt it all. bummer huh?

upon realizing those depressing moments, they always lead me to these questions: what is Allah trying to teach me? what is it that Allah is testing me right now? which sifat is Allah trying to cleanse me from? those questions would usually be circulating in the head. the blame is not on others around us, it's always back to us. because Allah chose us to face it. but the thing is, those questions can never really be answered straight away. 

and as much as we wished that we are home, within the confinement of our parents, we realized that it's just not possible. and even if it is, our parents won't solve everything in our heart. they will just be a way for us to not face those dilemmas or heartaches that we are facing. because the one that can resolve those sadness within us is the one who gave it to us in the first place; Allah S.W.T.

and i guess. those feelings; sedih, sayu, frustrated, lonely; they will keep on being there. and unless we ask Him to take them all away, and give us that happiness, no one else will. and the fact is, no one else can. 

ya Allah. only You can give me happiness. so Guide me in my every action, every minute and every second of the day; until You feel that im worthy enough to be given that happiness. insyaAllah.

but in the end, the real happiness is just knowing that i have You every step of the way. so please do. :')

life is a test. of choosing between doing something that makes you closer to Him or not. theoretically, it's rather simple. but the world and syaiton makes it ever so hard. and we often forget. but that's our nature, our fitrah. and those struggles of trying to be better is what makes us different from one another in His Eyes. because now thinking of it deeply, wishing for goodness and doing goodness, are sadly, two very different things. and what's worse, i think i fell into the category of one who wishes for it more often that really doing it. no wonder Allah jawab siap-siap in His verse:

"Apakah manusia mengira bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan mengatakan: 
Kami telah beriman, sedang mereka belum diuji?" 
(QS Al-Ankabut:2-3)

 so let us be there for one another, in this race of doing good. Fastabiqul Khairat. ;)

Dan bagi tiap-tiap umat ada arah (kiblat) yang masing-masing menujunya; oleh itu berlumba-lumbalah kamu mengerjakan kebaikan; kerana di mana sahaja kamu berada maka Allah tetap akan membawa kamu semua (berhimpun pada hari kiamat untuk menerima balasan); sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu. 


yours truly;
i think im taking Hereafter too lightly. 
astaghfirullah :(


I Am Here, always :)

just read a post blog of a dear friend of mine. ceritanya menggugat hati. kilang air mata bekerja lagi. terus rasa ingin menulis. :')



among the many kinds of personalities that we can list, there is one that i have always wanted to be most;  one that i'm striving to be too. one that i hope will make others happy, because it makes me happy. which is to be the one that others turn to; at troubled times, when they are sad, when they are lonely, or when they are weak. i love those times the most, no matter how heartbreaking it might be. i want to be the helping hand, the shoulder to cry on, the attentive listener. i love to be that.

i see many others out there, whose actions and words shout independence. another shout strong. another shout lemah lembut. another shout tenang. hm.. i'm not sure what i want mine to be if i were to put it in one word: trustworthy? penolong? supporter? entah.

but the thing is, it's not easy. for someone to be able to come to you in their darkest hours, or in their saddest moments, one must've had the biggest trust on you; that they are willing to share their thoughts and emotions with you. and i'm not sure if the 'trustworthy' tag is even mine as of now. tsk.

i was thinking, should i be a doctor one day, am i able to be an attentive one? one who listens with her heart and not just her stethoscope. one who read between the lines, instead of just the charts or scans. i pray that Allah would use me, not just to heal those underlying diseases, but the diseases of the hearts.

looking back, when people turn to me in those times they need someone else, i felt contented. those time when we were able to give words of encouragement, or support, or those excerpts of Hadith, or verses of the Quran;  i hope that in one way or another, Allah healed them through me. 

so to those out there who i love dearly, even though you might not even know it:

i may not be be able to make you strong, if you come to me when you're weak;
i may not be able to cheer you up when you're sad,
i may not be able to bring back the things that you lost,
but there is only one thing that i can promise you insyaAllah;
that i am always here for you,
to remind you that Allah is there to help you through anything. 

Allah is Great. 
Just Great. :)

وَأَنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ أَضۡحَكَ وَأَبۡكَىٰ 
وَأَنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ أَمَاتَ وَأَحۡيَا

And that it is He (Allâh) Who makes (whom He wills) laugh, 
and makes (whom He wills) weep. 
And that it is He (Allâh) Who causes death and gives life.
[53: 43-44]

ps: used to pray that i can be like Khadijah R.A to my loved ones, and to my future mr Right. thinking deeper now, i want to be like Khadijah R.A. to everyone. dreaming big? maybe. but everything starts with an intention, kan?

yours truly;




i admit. fitrah perempuan untuk dilihat cantik. siapa taknak? those yang kuat iman di dada je can apply that "ada aku kisah?" type of attitude when it comes to beauty. even so, they still spend some time matching the colours of their clothes before going out. hik. :P

nevertheless, despite everybody assuming that all girls in the whole wide world crave for that "cantik lah awak" compliments, do consider that some also find it very offensive.

few years back in high school, i was very not much into those Miss and Mr Something award. especially when it involves superficial titles; namely Miss Cantik, Mr Kacak, Mr Macho, Miss Cute and Comel and Cuddly and whatever that rolls along with it. (no offence to those who got those titles though. be thankful that Allah grant you guys that extra genes. we mediocre humans do sometimes become jealous of those well-sculptured looks. hehe)

anyways, back to my point. i find it very shallow, when someone was asked to describe a person, and the people would go give a one-word answer of: cantik, kacak, or bergaya. it's as if among the millions of vocabs that we have learnt about personalities, all we can come up for a person is...cantik? to me, i find that to be a teeny bit insulting?

think about it. it's as if our brains or personality or hearts doesn't count much. if that word comes from a person who don't know us, i guess it WILL count as a compliment. but if superficial words like that comes from a person who have been friends with us for the past 10 years, then it's just plain underrated. at least, that's my opinion. 

tapi... kalau dah orang tu cantik sangat? 

fine je... i dont mean that you saying it will automatically get you that 'shallow' tag. just describe all her other traits first and end it with .."and cantik." which clearly goes to show how our thinking is aligned with what our Deen tells us, that real beauty is what's in the heart, and not just what we see. 

but of course, cantik is very subjective. sometimes it does meant that someone is overall cantik. her heart and her personality is so Cantik that it sparkles outside too. and that is something that all of us should aim for, insyaAllah. 

but sadly enough, we all live in a world where cantik luaran is what we crave for, and compliments from random people makes people feel better. we gave full effort in clothes, make-up and shoes, leaving behind any effort for your Personality and most importantly your Heart.

then what makes us any different, from the cover girls of those fashion magazines? when everything is perfectly Cantik outside, but that little thing called Heart is all rotten up inside. what else you have to offer, if all that will be taken away one day?

cantik? of course your confidence level are boosted with those compliments. but rather than hearing those from random guys, hearing my Abah and Mama say it to me boost my confidence way much more. (and insyaAllah from future Hubby? *coughcough*). as for those physical compliments coming from those ajnabi? sorry, but they are just shallow remarks. 

cantik luaran is seen with mata kasar. but cantik dalaman is seen with mata hati. and we all know which should be prioritized. don't we, sweethearts? :)

“Ketahuilah, di dalam tubuh itu ada segumpal daging. 
Bila ia baik maka baik pulalah seluruh tubuh. 
Dan apabila ia rosak maka rosak pulalah seluruh tubuh. 
Ketahuilah itu adalah hati."
(HR Bukhari dan Muslim) 



Saya Sayang Abah & Mama. Awak?


ibu dan bapa. many of us failed to appreciate them. especially those who have the best ones; ones who are still with us, constantly praying for us, constantly supporting us. we failed to be thankful that we don't have ones who left us, ones who just don't care about us, ones who neglect us. 

and most importantly, we fail to appreciate them, while we still can. when they are still breathing and living in this world. 


how to appreciate our parents, you may ask? no, i dont mean giving them gifts, i dont mean telling them the best grades we had, i dont mean the frequent calls we make. what makes me say we dont appreciate them? when we do the worst thing that a child can do to his/her parents; which is to betray the trust the parents gave us. doing things that saddens them. doing things that may hurt them. 

but many parents dont know. because we all are tricky and too smart too hide it all from them. i see so many things that describe this situation; i wonder if you guys have ever heard of these? (and hopefully you are not doing them..)

creating a specific facebook profile for parents/family? making all photos available for the world to see, yet not the family? not telling parents about those 'friends' that you are having around? them not knowing about the parties or events or the day/night-out we have been to out here? or even the sleep-overs that we had?

university students (local and abroad); Allah gave us a pretty good brain to be able to continue our studies up a notch. some local and some abroad. but we all have a common ground; we are all away from the place called Home. and here is the sad part. the brain is too smart that we are able to hide things pretty well. i guess some parents just allow them children going to parties, wearing inappropriate dresses and all, depending on the level of the religious background they are in. but i think most of our parents do care. and sadly enough, because they care about it, it became the reason of why we hide it all from them.

and betrayed their trust. ~sigh~

i grew up telling my parents everything. not just about my problems or penyakit hati. but who my friends are, who i talk to, what events i attended, what kinds of things i shop, my new skirts and shirts, etc. and i think i will continue on to do so. because the few times i didn't, i find them all to end up very badly; either them being sins that i pray He Forgives, or just things that ended up hurting me so much more, literally or not.

and thus here is my conclusion, as always. there are so many wrong things that can easily attract us. be it having weird tak-ingat-Dunia-Akhirat 'fun', wearing the wrong things (especially for girls) or even befriending the wrong people. but most of them are so subtle that you cant really say that it is wrong, because everybody is doing them too. so how can we know that it's wrong and that we should avoid them?

my answer is Parents. ask ourselves, can we tell them about it? "abah, can i go out with this person who is this and that? Mama, can i wear this kinds of clothes? Abah, can i bring this friends over?" and so, when we dare not tell them of the things we did, or what we  wear, or who our friends are etc. it now became a clear indicator that we are just doing the wrong things. 

and what's worse, we betrayed their trust.

when they are praying that we ended up with a good partner,
we are mixing and mingling with people at parties and events.

when they are praying that our iman and amal is well-kept and improved,
we are having friends over, playing loud music, watching movies together.

when they are praying that we grow up becoming a descent Muslimah,
we are busy buying and shopping clothes that balut instead of covering our aurat.

when they are praying that we become a good Muslim,
we dont even worry that we didn't read the Quran at all for the day.

when they are waking up late at night, crying that Allah kept us safe and sound here,
we did not put any effort to become one soleh/solehah son/daughter, 
whose doa will reach our parents when they are in Alam Barzakh.

ask ourselves again, do we really love them? because sending those 4.00 CGPA results is just not enough. it's often enough here in this short world, but it's definitely not enough to last that Hereafter, which is forever.


i will keep on telling Abah and Mama everything. it keeps me rooted to what is right. and it definitely keeps me away from wrong things. and most importantly, i'll try hard to appreciate the trust they put in me; that i will do things right, avoid the wrong things, and live as a good person, a Muslim at heart. both in iman and in amal. because the trust they had in me, i'm pretty sure i will be putting the same kind of trust in my children in the future, insyaAllah. and as much as i dont want them to betray my trust, i will try not to betray my AbahMama's trust in me. with Allah's help. ameen.

رَبَّنَا ٱغۡفِرۡ لِى وَلِوَٲلِدَىَّ وَلِلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ يَوۡمَ يَقُومُ ٱلۡحِسَابُ

Wahai Tuhan kami! Berilah ampun bagiku dan bagi kedua ibu bapaku serta bagi orang-orang yang beriman, pada masa berlakunya hitungan amal dan pembalasan

saya sayang Abah & Mama.


love again


finding myself falling deeper in love with medicine. learnt a lot about ethics today. somehow it keeps the mind rolling. was exposed to the cruel world of medicine too. the long hours, the expectations from the public that you are the healers, the emotional stress, the taboo of being burnt out (which is a complete NoNo), coping with deaths and so on.

subhanallah, it really is an interesting field. T,T

i may not be excellent in writing A+ essays, or getting 95% out of those MCQs; but i sure can sit down and tell you many things about the world of medicine. *refer buku la kan.heh*

a part of me wish that this final half of medicine will pass by as fast as possible. but im guessing it will. and a doctor earlier today said something quite inspirational;

"learn as much as you can. 
read as much as you can while you are still able to. 
cause once you're in the field, you can rarely find time."

fuh that seems scary. but that got my adrenaline rushing.


but the fact that malaysia will have a surplus of doctors by 2015 somehow seems to dim that bright future ahead. because too much doctors will usually mean too little hands-on. too little experience. that just means bad physicians.huhu.

*hmm.. smells like someone's considering staying back?*
huhu. wallahua'lam.

Allah always has the best of Plans.

do what you have to do now yan.
which is to read those lecture notes!!yosh!


That Endless Fight


يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓاْ إِنَّمَا ٱلۡخَمۡرُ وَٱلۡمَيۡسِرُ وَٱلۡأَنصَابُ وَٱلۡأَزۡلَـٰمُ رِجۡسٌ۬ مِّنۡ
 عَمَلِ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنِ فَٱجۡتَنِبُوهُ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تُفۡلِحُونَ

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bahawa sesungguhnya arak dan judi dan pemujaan berhala dan mengundi nasib dengan batang-batang anak panah, adalah (semuanya) kotor (keji) dari perbuatan Syaitan. Oleh itu hendaklah kamu menjauhinya supaya kamu berjaya.


have you ever heard of the story behind this ayat? how the Believers react upon turunnya ayat ni. correct me if i am wrong, but from what i can remember, mereka baling semua barrels filled with alcohols. those who were actually having drinks kat kedai-kedai arak, tengah halfway minum, gelas kat mulut tu, tinggal seteguk je lagi dalam mulut, tunggu nak telan je. you know what they did? they cough it out upon hearing that "Arak Haram! Arak Haram." (imaginasi saya) they never stop and think. "erk. alang-alang nak masuk tekak dah ni, telan je la." nope. a sister told me that it signifies their level of iman. golongan sami'na wa ato'na; which means Kami Dengar, Kami Taat. those people are ones who are promised His Jannah.

read more about pengharaman arak, here.


how hampeh is our level of iman, really? when everyday, there's so  much knowledge that we have gained, about what is right and what is wrong. about what is halal, what is haram. about what is makruh, what is sunat, and what is syubhah. we read about them, listen to talks about them, watch Youtube videos about them. and then, we say to ourselves; "yes, i believe."

so we did our best, to not do it, avoiding them anywhere and anytime we can. and most of the time, we say to ourselves, "o'yeah. i am a Believer." but guess what? Allah's Jannah are not for those who say they believe. it is for those who really Believes. so He wants to see a real Believer. 

and so come the real situations; where we have to prove to Him, that we believe in Him, and we will stand by His Rules; not just when we are alone, but when we are in front of others. and here, our actions signifies how much we believe in those Kalamullah; how much we believe in those hadiths that we have learnt. 

yet, this is what happens. most of the time;

"will people think weirdly of me?"
"terase hati ke eh?"
"nanti sure tak boleh lepak sama-sama lagi."
"nanti kecik hati ke?"
"nanti hilang kawan ke?"
"nanti nampak bajet baik sangat ke?"
"tapi aku pun banyak lagi benda lain yang aku buat salah."
"nanti gaduh kan tak pasal-pasal pulak."
"aku nak berubah, tapi sorang-sorang susah."

often it left me wondering, where do we stand in front of His Eyes? have we failed miserably? because instead of fighting for it, we are having doubts. why is it so many things and questions and assumptions are holding us back, from telling others what is right. we know deep down that it's just not right. that it's Haram, or makruh, or syubhah, or plain pointless. but why can't we say it? why can't we be proud of it while saying it? sedangkan deep down we know and believe in our hearts, that His Rules should always comes first.


tired really. of having the small endless fight inside. knowing what is right, believing in it, and yet not having the guts to put them into clear words and actions. when my mouth is most often kept shut, and my actions are mostly subtle ones. because when i did open my mouth, i am misinterpreted; and more often than not, my words are just insignificant to others.

i hate that small fight inside. it eats me up most of the time. because i'm made aware of how weak i am. it's an endless fight that we have daily i guess. but come to think of it, rather than enjoying life and 'going with the flow', i'd rather have this endless fight inside. at least if we die, we died fighting. kan? it's the only thing that kept me going lately; and the fact that He's Watching over.

semoga niat kita semua dibetulkan. ameen.

 أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتۡرَكُوٓاْ أَن يَقُولُوٓاْ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمۡ لَا يُفۡتَنُونَ
 وَلَقَدۡ فَتَنَّا ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِهِمۡ‌ۖ فَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ صَدَقُواْ وَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ ٱلۡكَـٰذِبِينَ

"Patutkah manusia menyangka bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan dengan hanya berkata: Kami beriman, sedang mereka tidak diuji (dengan sesuatu cubaan)? Dan demi sesungguhnya! Kami telah menguji orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada mereka, maka (dengan ujian yang demikian), nyata apa yang diketahui Allah tentang orang-orang yang sebenar-benarnya beriman dan nyata pula apa yang diketahuiNya tentang orang-orang yang berdusta.

yours truly,
fight harder please. =,=''


Register, Race and be the Runners.


you know that typical idea of wanting to settle down. leading a new life? that thought has always been at the back of our minds (for girls, they cant lie. it's one of the most favourite topics).  maybe it's the age factor. but i think it's mostly fitrah. it's just that some just choose to not talk about it, some choose to talk about it with close friends, some choose to give hints to others, some choose not to care. 

but in my case, the surroundings and the constant facebook status and articles are really getting on my nerves. not to mention all the pretty young ladies in whites, and video wedding yang berleluasa. (ok yan control yourself!) huhuu~~ has it affect me in a bad way? not so much. (or maybe a teeny bit? ok, fine much) it makes me write this post for sure. and some mengadu domba kat parents. heh. 

kahwin awal? hantaran? pelamin? all sorts of articles and status have been circulating around those within our age groups. alhamdulillah. in a way, it goes to show that many have embraced the idea that marriage is really the best given outlet for those who choose to not enter any relationships. as well as for those who are already in relationships, and wanting to keep it right on Allah's track.

but rather than talking about it hypothetically, and spreading all sorts of suggestions about kahwin awal, hantaran murah, kahwin cara islam what not, i think the winners in the end are those who actually put all those words into actions. those guys who actually drop on one knee, and ask for the girl's hand make the call to the Dad. fuh~

"ni pasal kahwin kot. ingat senang-senang ke nak call ayah orang?"

true. memang tak senang.
selagi kita berfikiran payah.

i dont know if this analogy of mine is lame ke ape ke, but here goes. it's like a race. the ones we have back in Hari Sukan Sekolah. there will always be a start line, and a finish line. along the way you will be running, but towards the end you will be speeding up, till you reach the finish line. faham tak? ok let me explain. 

the trophy is of course the Miss Other Half that insyaAllah will perfect your flaws in their own ways. the finishing line is the marriage. but the race is all about preparation for that marriage, in simpler words, bertunang. wallahua'lam. but i've heard of what my brothers (abe and abe ammar) did. they never really knew if they were ready for the marriage, but once they decided to do it and took the first step; which is to ask for the girl's hand from the Dad, then everything falls into place. 

what kinds of things fall into place? hm, somehow their work becomes clearer, the saving-money part becomes clearer, the niat becomes clearer, the solat sunat becomes clearer, the doa becomes clearer. why? because they are already in that race. and the only thing in their mind is to finish that race. they won't stop at nothing. they may grew tired and ended up jogging or even walking, or they may even fall down. but still, they won't stop. and eventually the finishing line will come closer, and at that time the adrenaline rush will be there to push them further, that you will end up speeding up in the last few metres. and once you reach that line, insyaAllah nothing else matters. you will definitely get that well-deserved trophies trophy. (hehe)

the thing is, the runners have studied so much about the race, that they knew everything. from how the race is going to be up till what kinds of trophy that they want. but they haven't even done the most essential step yet, which is registering for the race. straight-forward sikit = calling up the Wali lah. because when you are registering, i'm sure you will be able to negotiate which race you want to be in, the 1000m, the 400m, the 200m and even the 100m if you're fit and totally up to it. 

what i mean here is, once you pop the question to the Dad, insyaAllah, you'll be able to handle things from there. it might take you a few months, or even a few years to reach that finishing line (paling lama is 2 tahun). because at that point, what matters most is you are ready enough that you have registered for it, and it's time to start running.


and yet, i've seen and read so many status, so many articles pasal perempuan muslimah, so many stuff that it seems like many of these 'runners' will end up getting married by the end of the month. and yet, months passed, and the facebook status changes every so often of the same topic, but the relationship status remains; Encik Runner is still single. hee.

and here is my little point of view for those respected brothers out there; who i'm sure is trying very hard to be the best imam for the family that you are planning for; 

pray to Him. ask Him to prepare you. ask Him to lift all the things that you are scared of. ask Him to lift off all the negative thoughts that are holding you back, from doing what is right.

because the truth is, there are so many girls out there who needs protection from you guys. and the world is not getting any easier for them to protect themselves. they became fitnah everywhere they go. alhamdulillah, Europe has not been much of a challenge for us to protect ourselves from the evil hearts (maybe because there are a whole bunch of hot Caucasians to obscure us from perverts? hehe. lame joke.) but in Malaysia? not so much. every girl is a fitnah to anyone who sees them. and to those respected guys out there, why not give them this bubble of protection earlier on. because to me, a guy should marry because he wants to protect someone. and yet, you are always holding yourself back because you are worried of the 'provider' part. but have you forgotten, that the providing part is always Allah's. the only thing you need to do is putting the effort. 

so at least start with one right niat, to protect them Hawa. im pretty sure Allah will help with the rest of the stuff that you worry. so Register, Race, and be the Runners. you will always end up as a Winner in the Trophy's eye. and most definitely in His Eyes. :)


yours truly,
cakap sedap.buat tak. heheh >,<
girls lain. next time kite cite. *wink*


another day's Thought


today i lazily hang out at the surau before heading back home. (classes ends early today, alhamdulillah. not a hectic week as the last one).

there were not many of us there. just me and pika. and some arab girls. once in a while, when our eyes meet we'd give each other smiles. heh. (i'm bad at being international). then a girl came. i dont quite know where her native country is, but i'm pretty sure she's Arab. she had a slightly dark skin, with a smile always pasted on her face. she has not worn her hijab yet, but insyaAllah im pretty sure one day she will.

i've noticed her before. and today, i stole some glances towards her again when she was praying. because she prayed in a very peculiar way. suffice to say, that it's waaay different than how we have been taught in our Mazhab Syafi'e. 

i was wondering if she was to pray like that in malaysia, how would the makcik-makcik around think? will there be weird glances, some whispering here and there, annoyance? wallahua'lam. (ouh, tak husnuzon sungguh). sorry, im just saying. because like i told you, i've seen her before. and her way of praying has grabbed my attention. that was the reason i somewhat watch her pray again today. as embarrassing i am to admit this,but my first thought when i saw her praying the first time was, "hm. solat macam tu ok ke eh?"

but today, i have come to a conclusion. for no matter how different the way she's praying, she's still praying to that One God, that you and i are submitting to. the same sujud, the same ruku', the same tahiyyat. those small differences that we are making, are not ours to judge. for the fact of the matter is, she was still praying. and for all that we know, maybe hers was way better spiritually; maybe her prayers to Allah at that time, causes His Mercy to fall on all others around her. the possibilities are always there. 

point is, there are a whole bunch of things that we don't know of. not to say that it's okay to remain negligent of the things around us. but be sure to differentiate which of them that we should know about, and which of them that we need to leave behind; because they are just His to Know of. 

wallahua'lam. :)

ps: ok mau study hard pulak. pray for me? jazakumullah~ ^,~
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